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    Hey everyone, I made this post anonymous for obvious reasons, but I came out tonight to my closest friend. All went better than expected and she said she's happy that I came out to her and I was able to trust her and nothing would ever change.

    Several times I've been asked the question "are you gay?", I've denied it to all my friends and family throughout all the years, is it too late to come out at 20+ years of old? I don't want to declare my real age here. I lack in self confidence because I fear what everyone else think, but I know I would be happier coming out because I've accepted who I am. I am coming up to exam period right now, and I just feel so low
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    It's never too late to be honest with yourself and your family and friends.

    It's a brave step, but it can only make you happier than trying to repress it or avoid conversations about it all your life.
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    Never too late


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    Yaboy, is that you?


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    It's never too late. Coming out's a brave thing to do, and your family and friends should accept you for who you are, and respect the fact that it might not be an easy thing for you to express. It might be difficult, but try not to worry about what other people think (:


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    Thanks for replying What you guys say (whether it be good or bad) means a lot
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    I probably won't come out to my family as I'm not close to them at all. Not close to my mother or dad (if I can even call him 'dad'). Only close to my sister.

    Plus my mother is a God-loving religious hippie who prays so aggressively, it's stupid.

    BUT back to the main point.... If I was to choose to come out, I would do it when I had my own place, own car, financially stable just in case. If family is important and big of a deal it is, then go for it. It probably helps if you have a big family so if one shuns you out, you can go to a cousin, or etc etc. If it's a small, tight-knit family with 'traditional customs' (shall we say), it might not be a good thing when you're not set up for independent living.

    Friends will be OK. If they don't stick by you, they weren't you friends to begin with. Or your real friends anyway.
    In my life, friends have come and go so I'm not fussed. I have a close group of friends and we're so close we ask each other when's the last time we had sex, favourite positions, if our female ladies have had anal sex... Whilst we are eating in our sixth form lounge... at lunch time ) Those are real friends :P
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    You feel like you are an abnormal age to be coming out and it makes you feel worse about coming out. The truth is that the age does not matter at all. Because you may (or may not, I don't know!) be older than the average person in this generation who comes out, you are letting that fuel your worry. All that worry is not really because of your age, it is just because of the scary concept of coming out. You just tell yourself it is worse because you are older.

    I think people will support you. Maybe some of them suspect it anyway and are just waiting for you to be ready to tell people. If your parents are very very anti-gay then you have a problem. Otherwise though, I think it is fine. If someone were to be angry at your sexuality, it is because they are denying it, they don't want you to be like that. But in the end, them shouting about it isn't going to change the fact of your sexuality. Denial isn't really an option. This is why most mature adults will just accept it with no fuss. Some people might not approve or it might make them feel a bit awkward, but as long as you keep being you then they can still like you for you. What I'm saying is, don't suddenly start gossiping non stop about what sex you had recently or how incredibly fit that person who walked past is. Unless you did that normally anyway, then people will simply start disliking you for that, nothing to do with your sexuality. That is a problem I have with a friend who came out recently. He suddenly seems obsessed with his own ego and making good impressions on strangers with his newfound confidence and charisma, and doesn't appreciate the people who are there to support him. All the while saying that no one appreciates him.

    As long as you don't start acting stupid, you have no problems. It's difficult that this all happened near exams, but there is always something important going on. I read a thread a while ago about a couple who didn't know whether to start a relationship or not because of impending AS level exams. To be honest though it's either going to be AS levels, A levels, new college, different colleges/unis, uni exams, moving house, new job, difficult busy time for job, family crisis... the list is endless, there is always something that makes the situation less than ideal.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey everyone, I made this post anonymous for obvious reasons, but I came out tonight to my closest friend. All went better than expected and she said she's happy that I came out to her and I was able to trust her and nothing would ever change.

    Several times I've been asked the question "are you gay?", I've denied it to all my friends and family throughout all the years, is it too late to come out at 20+ years of old? I don't want to declare my real age here. I lack in self confidence because I fear what everyone else think, but I know I would be happier coming out because I've accepted who I am. I am coming up to exam period right now, and I just feel so low
    I'd never consider myself homophobic, but in my opinion there's nothing so pathetic as a gay who won't admit it.

    Come out, be proud of who you are. It's the least you owe your friends and family, and more importantly it's the least you owe yourself.
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    Sorry to bump an old thread, but I can't thank you enough! It might seem like a small step but I came out to the second person tonight, and I am going to tell my parents today!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Sorry to bump an old thread, but I can't thank you enough! It might seem like a small step but I came out to the second person tonight, and I am going to tell my parents today!

    omg good luck!! Hopefully it goes well
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    (Original post by Orthonym)
    You feel like you are an abnormal age to be coming out and it makes you feel worse about coming out. The truth is that the age does not matter at all. Because you may (or may not, I don't know!) be older than the average person in this generation who comes out, you are letting that fuel your worry. All that worry is not really because of your age, it is just because of the scary concept of coming out. You just tell yourself it is worse because you are older.

    I think people will support you. Maybe some of them suspect it anyway and are just waiting for you to be ready to tell people. If your parents are very very anti-gay then you have a problem. Otherwise though, I think it is fine. If someone were to be angry at your sexuality, it is because they are denying it, they don't want you to be like that. But in the end, them shouting about it isn't going to change the fact of your sexuality. Denial isn't really an option. This is why most mature adults will just accept it with no fuss. Some people might not approve or it might make them feel a bit awkward, but as long as you keep being you then they can still like you for you. What I'm saying is, don't suddenly start gossiping non stop about what sex you had recently or how incredibly fit that person who walked past is. Unless you did that normally anyway, then people will simply start disliking you for that, nothing to do with your sexuality. That is a problem I have with a friend who came out recently. He suddenly seems obsessed with his own ego and making good impressions on strangers with his newfound confidence and charisma, and doesn't appreciate the people who are there to support him. All the while saying that no one appreciates him.

    As long as you don't start acting stupid, you have no problems. It's difficult that this all happened near exams, but there is always something important going on. I read a thread a while ago about a couple who didn't know whether to start a relationship or not because of impending AS level exams. To be honest though it's either going to be AS levels, A levels, new college, different colleges/unis, uni exams, moving house, new job, difficult busy time for job, family crisis... the list is endless, there is always something that makes the situation less than ideal.
    (Original post by Orthonym)
    You feel like you are an abnormal age to be coming out and it makes you feel worse about coming out. The truth is that the age does not matter at all. Because you may (or may not, I don't know!) be older than the average person in this generation who comes out, you are letting that fuel your worry. All that worry is not really because of your age, it is just because of the scary concept of coming out. You just tell yourself it is worse because you are older.

    I think people will support you. Maybe some of them suspect it anyway and are just waiting for you to be ready to tell people. If your parents are very very anti-gay then you have a problem. Otherwise though, I think it is fine. If someone were to be angry at your sexuality, it is because they are denying it, they don't want you to be like that. But in the end, them shouting about it isn't going to change the fact of your sexuality. Denial isn't really an option. This is why most mature adults will just accept it with no fuss. Some people might not approve or it might make them feel a bit awkward, but as long as you keep being you then they can still like you for you. What I'm saying is, don't suddenly start gossiping non stop about what sex you had recently or how incredibly fit that person who walked past is. Unless you did that normally anyway, then people will simply start disliking you for that, nothing to do with your sexuality. That is a problem I have with a friend who came out recently. He suddenly seems obsessed with his own ego and making good impressions on strangers with his newfound confidence and charisma, and doesn't appreciate the people who are there to support him. All the while saying that no one appreciates him.

    As long as you don't start acting stupid, you have no problems. It's difficult that this all happened near exams, but there is always something important going on. I read a thread a while ago about a couple who didn't know whether to start a relationship or not because of impending AS level exams. To be honest though it's either going to be AS levels, A levels, new college, different colleges/unis, uni exams, moving house, new job, difficult busy time for job, family crisis... the list is endless, there is always something that makes the situation less than ideal.

    I really hope that anonymous quotes can be seen again, and I want to thank YOU in particular. This sounds cheesy, but I can't thank you enough; you have essentially changed my life, and made it much happier than the denial crap that I was living.

    You told me I was putting an excuse as to the time it was, and it hit me that this is what I'm exactly doing; putting it off. I don't know, you'll never be able to appreciate how grateful I really am for what you've said.
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    (Original post by R Dragon)
    omg good luck!! Hopefully it goes well
    Thank you, as previously said, sorry for bumping an old thread, maybe it will help a younger person to come out

    And to my first post, I am 21
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I really hope that anonymous quotes can be seen again, and I want to thank YOU in particular. This sounds cheesy, but I can't thank you enough; you have essentially changed my life, and made it much happier than the denial crap that I was living.

    You told me I was putting an excuse as to the time it was, and it hit me that this is what I'm exactly doing; putting it off. I don't know, you'll never be able to appreciate how grateful I really am for what you've said.
    I'm so glad I could help! It must take a lot of courage to do what you did.

    To return the cheesiness, it is all you who is changing your life. But anonymous encouragement for the win. I wish you all the best
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    Awww go you! Good luck on coming out to your parents and close friends- and here's to wishing you find someone right for you
 
 
 
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