End of a friendship?

About a year ago I met a friend of a friend who happened to be at the same uni as me. We became pretty close very quickly and I ended up falling for him. There were without doubt sparks of attraction between, nothing ever went beyond a lot of flirting since there were certain obstacles in our way. We always used to have a banter going between us, as you do, but it was always light hearted fun, nothing too serious. However, the last few months this banter has turned into constant squabbling, bickering and arguing which is now far from light hearted but personal - we constantly seem aim to wind each other up and almost seek to hurt each other, yet despite this, we still have occassionally good times where we have a laugh and generally after a while we get over our petty squabbles, but we quickly return to arguing. The arguments are frequently over the same territory and pretty much over nothing but they still seem to blow up big time. But as time goes on, our constant arguing gets a bit draining - do i end a friendship with someone I really liked, felt close and got on with, or to I continue this constant bickering?

I'm entering into my final year of uni now :redface:

how scary and have had plenty of relationships in the past, but, no friendship or relationship has ever been so turbulent and volatile as this one (good highs but major lows alternating at a rapid pace), which makes me wonder why this one is so different?

Any thoughts on this would be great? Anyone ever been in a similar situation?

Thanks, Lo

Reply 1

Sazarina88

I'm afraid I haven't been in your situation but I am seriously considering one of my friendships at the moment for various reasons.

I think you need to picture your life without him, could you manage without him?

Also, could you perhaps be forgetting all the things that made your friendship so good?

I think you could also try to talk to him about how you feel. You may be surprised to learn that he feels the same way.

IMO, it doesn't sound like you should give up just yet.

Good luck,
Sarah xx

Reply 2

sarahb

i would never encourage some1 to throw away a friendship, but to encourage to try mend it.

i was in a VERY similar situation last year actualy...i got very close to my brothers best friend, and we always bikered and we liked each other. when i no longer liked him, i wanted him to know, so i (subconsciously) got personal with him, made the arguments more serious so they werent flirtatious! could this be the case here? maybe you both just want to other to kno you no longer like them in that way?

what i did once this was pointed out to me was talk to him, i explained that i hated arguing with him, and i was just honest with him about how i felt. he was so understandng, and we now have a great friendship!

whatever you do, i wouldnt throw it away yet!

Reply 3

friendsfreak88

Yeah I don't think that you should throw a friendship like this away. I think have a chat about things and see maybe what exactly is annoying you about the other person and maybe try to work on things. Maybe go out together to a few different places that you know you will both like as that might get you 'bonding' again.

Reply 4

aleathiel

I had a very close friend for almost 4 years, we ended up kinda like that with the petty arguements and he said he didnt wanna be friends anymore. I miss the friendship though but nothing I can do about it as another friend (that he is friends with too) has also said she doesn't want to be friends with me and he's going along with what she wants (cos he kinda seemed to wanna make up till she said no way!)

Give it another go and if you feel an arguement brewing just give each other some breathing space rather than continue with the arguement, after all if it's over nothing then that can be done right? If I make any sense with that lol

Reply 5

halfoflessthan50p

Dont throw your friendship away! I have so many regrets about friends ive lost because of stupid argument or because things came between us. You only realise how much you appreciated them and how different they were to everyone else afterwards.

I went through this with my best mate a while back. We use to always get into arguments that got out of control. Basically what we did was spent less time together. And that solved it, pretty much. If you see someone everyday you can get a bit fed up and annoyed with them i think. You need to spend more time with different people and more time with yourself maybe

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