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Girlfriend turned vegan - do we have to break up?? Watch

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    Me and my girlfriend have been together for a year and have lived together for a few months.

    She's always been a fan of vegetables but recently she decided to turn completely vegan. I have nothing against her views and totally respect her decision - it does not bother me what she eats. But this is not the problem..

    The problem is, that in our household we have divided our tasks in the following way: I'm working full time, and earn most of the money for us. My girlfriend only works part time, but she cooks the evening meals and does most of the household chores. On the weekends, I cook and participate in all possible chores, so I feel we have equally divided everything. With her new thing, I also cook some nice vegetarian things along with other foods on the weekends for her to eat.

    The problem is now that my girlfriend has decided she won't touch or cook meat anymore. This is really bad for me because I'm usually home only around 7:30pm after I've been to the gym after work and most of the time I'm starving. Now with this new vegan thing, she only cooks vegetarian meals, which means that I have to cook for myself. I'm a meat eater, and need a proper portion of meat to get the required protein. I'm more than happy to have some of her carrot soup for a starter, but I do need some proper food too.

    This has made things really difficult for us and it's very exhausting to me. After a full day of work the last thing I want to do is start cooking, I want to relax. I like cooking, but just don't have the time and I can't eat ready meals every day, afterall, I'm a healthy eater.

    I have told her this is very selfish from her. I'd be even willing to change so that I was working part time and did the cooking instead, but my job won't allow this. This has caused for us to argue for the last 3 weeks..

    Is breaking up the only option if she won't change her habits?
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    Decide how much she means to you and depending on the answer you will have to buy ready to eat chicken from Tescos either way.
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    Just eat her instead!
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    Breaking up over her being vegan just sounds ridiculous. Ask her if she's willing to compromise a bit and cook meat for you? It's pretty unfair that you're essentially subsidising her living as you're the main breadwinners and she's not willing to do anything for you.
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    Sounds like the two of you evenly split your responsibilities in regards to bringing in income and chores, and now she's no longer keeping up her end of the bargain. You're getting shafted OP. Tell her to get her **** together.
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    (Original post by Gray Wolf)
    Decide how much she means to you and depending on the answer you will have to buy ready to eat chicken from Tescos either way.
    I swear after 2 weeks of eating ready chicken from Tesco I already feel sick of it. This would not be a problem if it was only for a while but can't imagine doing it for much longer! Now I'm cooking every night but end up getting to bed very late..

    (Original post by Saederup92)
    Just eat her instead!
    I do a few times per week but can't have seafood more often than that!

    (Original post by joker12345)
    Breaking up over her being vegan just sounds ridiculous. Ask her if she's willing to compromise a bit and cook meat for you? It's pretty unfair that you're essentially subsidising her living as you're the main breadwinners and she's not willing to do anything for you.
    I know right.. but the thing is she says she won't touch meat. It's ridiculous.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have nothing against her views and totally respect her decision - it does not bother me what she eats. But this is not the problem..

    The problem is now that my girlfriend has decided she won't touch or cook meat anymore. This is really bad for me because I'm usually home only around 7:30pm after I've been to the gym after work and most of the time I'm starving. Now with this new vegan thing, she only cooks vegetarian meals, which means that I have to cook for myself. I'm a meat eater, and need a proper portion of meat to get the required protein. I'm more than happy to have some of her carrot soup for a starter, but I do need some proper food too.

    This has made things really difficult for us and it's very exhausting to me. After a full day of work the last thing I want to do is start cooking, I want to relax. I like cooking, but just don't have the time and I can't eat ready meals every day, afterall, I'm a healthy eater.

    I have told her this is very selfish from her. I'd be even willing to change so that I was working part time and did the cooking instead, but my job won't allow this. This has caused for us to argue for the last 3 weeks..

    Is breaking up the only option if she won't change her habits?
    )
    You are not respecting her decision, you want her to change for you.

    Vegan meals can and should include protein in the form e.g of pulses, tofu, quorn, nut butters, soy and almond milks.

    Buy her a copy of a good cookbook, maybe http://www.amazon.co.uk/High-Protein.../dp/1480084549

    Tell her you need more protein.

    If you really want to break up do so, don't pretend it's because of the food
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    Patience is key in every relationship. Every relationship has problems. For you, it's your girlfriend being a vegan and for others, it's the boyfriend not putting the toilet seat down.
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    (Original post by suedonim)
    You are not respecting her decision, you want her to change for you.

    Vegan meals can and should include protein in the form e.g of pulses, tofu, quorn, nut butters, soy and almond milks.

    Buy her a copy of a good cookbook, maybe http://www.amazon.co.uk/High-Protein.../dp/1480084549

    Tell her you need more protein.

    If you really want to break up do so, don't pretend it's because of the food
    This.

    OP I totally understand your angle, but I think you need to look into veganism a little more. It's not all 'rabbit food' and 'carrot soup', with some training and practise and little bit of effort and support, your girlfriend can definitely make foods that will support you as well. The whole 'no protein without meat' argument is absolute bull haha. Tofu, beans and nuts and seeds are in the top 10 protein foods according to a simple google, for example. I think a compromise can be made - you should eat her food say 4 times a week, provided she make a bit more of an effort to make it substantial for you, and then you eat what you like a few other nights. Cooking a good meal is really not that hard, even after a day of work it could take you half an hour for a good chicken dish.

    This really does sound like something you're using as an excuse.

    Also - she isn't a vegan if you guys are eating fish. Not even a vegetarian. That's pescetarian.
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    At uni, I tend to make a big batch of something e.g chicken curry/meat casserole/stew, and freeze it in individual portions, then defrost one each day and reheat it in the microwave. Could you cook something at the weekend, and have it during the week? you could make a few different meals so that you're not having the same thing each night? Then just add it to whatever she has cooked for you?
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    (Original post by suedonim)
    You are not respecting her decision, you want her to change for you.

    Vegan meals can and should include protein in the form e.g of pulses, tofu, quorn, nut butters, soy and almond milks.

    Buy her a copy of a good cookbook, maybe http://www.amazon.co.uk/High-Protein.../dp/1480084549

    Tell her you need more protein.

    If you really want to break up do so, don't pretend it's because of the food
    I am respecting her decision!! as I said, she can eat whatever she wants and I'm willing to cook her veggie meals on the weekends when I'm cooking.

    I need good quality animal proteins, I do bodybuilding for a sport. Not only do I love meat, but meat protein has a much better amino acid profile than veggie protein.. You maybe don't understand how difficult this is making my week evenings at the moment and how much stress its causing me.
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    Like some other posters above have suggested, if your concern is about protein intake, then it's about the protein and you should ask her to cook meals with more protein in them. It's perfectly possible to have adequate protein intake on a vegan diet. If you like the taste of meat and are not prepared to give that up, even if it costs you your girlfriend, then that is that and you should probably leave her, as her veganism is not going anywhere and she may never want to touch meat again.
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    (Original post by awe)
    This.

    OP I totally understand your angle, but I think you need to look into veganism a little more. It's not all 'rabbit food' and 'carrot soup', with some training and practise and little bit of effort and support, your girlfriend can definitely make foods that will support you as well. The whole 'no protein without meat' argument is absolute bull haha. Tofu, beans and nuts and seeds are in the top 10 protein foods according to a simple google, for example. I think a compromise can be made - you should eat her food say 4 times a week, provided she make a bit more of an effort to make it substantial for you, and then you eat what you like a few other nights. Cooking a good meal is really not that hard, even after a day of work it could take you half an hour for a good chicken dish.

    This really does sound like something you're using as an excuse.

    Also - she isn't a vegan if you guys are eating fish. Not even a vegetarian. That's pescetarian.
    I have a very good knowledge of nutrition and I do know that you get protein from vegetarian sources too, but for me the quality of the protein is very important. If you look at the absorbtion of veggie protein vs animal protein there is a massive difference.

    I'm sure a lot can be argued about that too, but this is not only the problem, I love eating meat, I want to eat meat.

    That fish thing was a joke, she doest not eat fish. It was just a reply to someone suggesting "eat her instead"

    (Original post by mespannerhanz)
    At uni, I tend to make a big batch of something e.g chicken curry/meat casserole/stew, and freeze it in individual portions, then defrost one each day and reheat it in the microwave. Could you cook something at the weekend, and have it during the week? you could make a few different meals so that you're not having the same thing each night? Then just add it to whatever she has cooked for you?
    Awesome tip. I'll probably start doing this instead, I'll just cook meaty meals for the evenings too. I actually already do this for my lunches, just gotta start making dinners ready for me as well. It just feels a little unfair because I'm contributing so much more to our household. She can start cooking her own meals on the weekends from now on! Or enjoy a steak with me.
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    Yeah you have to break up, there is no way a vegan and a non vegan can be in a normal relationship together, it's unheard of. Sorry I'm the one telling you thins but you have to break up with her, you really don't have another option :/ (Sorry)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have a very good knowledge of nutrition and I do know that you get protein from vegetarian sources too, but for me the quality of the protein is very important. If you look at the absorbtion of veggie protein vs animal protein there is a massive difference.

    I'm sure a lot can be argued about that too, but this is not only the problem, I love eating meat, I want to eat meat.

    That fish thing was a joke, she doest not eat fish. It was just a reply to someone suggesting "eat her instead".
    Hey, I'm with you on the meat-loving personally. I just think this is a small thing to consider breaking up over, it's really surprising.

    Ah, my bad, I only saw the response properly. (: In that case 'lol'.
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    Cook a big portion of a meat dish on the weekend and freeze it in portions, ready to microwave when you get home. Then both of you just cook your own meals on weekends too.
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    (Original post by awe)
    Hey, I'm with you on the meat-loving personally. I just think this is a small thing to consider breaking up over, it's really surprising.

    Ah, my bad, I only saw the response properly. (: In that case 'lol'.
    Yeah I agree it sounds like a ridiculous thing to break up over. But the current situation just feels really unfair as I am contributing so much more to our household.

    I will have to have a proper talk with her about this.
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    I have to say...as a meat eater myself, you don't NEED to eat meat for protein. You WANT to eat meat. And that is fair enough, but I don't think it's justifiable to break up with her because of it.
    Have you considered buying a slow cooker? You can put your meat it in the morning and come home to it all ready for you. You could also batch cook and freeze it. Or, you could try being a bit more open minded and try some of her vegan meals? Vegans need protein too. If she has really made the change to veganism and you love her, it is a bit harsh to leave her just for her eating habits IMO.
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    (Original post by syrettd)
    Cook a big portion of a meat dish on the weekend and freeze it in portions, ready to microwave when you get home. Then both of you just cook your own meals on weekends too.
    Here is your solution OP.
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    If she can't be asked cooking meat for you then don't cook veggie food for her.

    maybe then she'll understand and be willing to come to a compromise

    stupid reason to break up though.

    every relationship has a test this is yours
 
 
 
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