I absolutely disagree, change the state of play. Women are afraid of being rejected by high value men and especially high value men they like. Hell, read the relationship forum threads from young women here, full of angst. With that mind, I am not a betting man, but I bet that if you built up a rapport/banter with her and then ****ed off for a few days... that would definitely **** with her mind. It's all a play.
There's several facets to this thing.
1. What you bring to the table. Do you have aspects of yourself that trumps her value? Can you bring it to light without having so much arrogance that turns her away too soon?
The main "power" of women you speak of in their 20's is that they have choice. If they obviously have this power, take away this power, put yourself into centre stage in her mind. You do this by also having choice in your life and being clever about it without burning the bridges you have built.
2. Chemistry. I believe this can be created by men who are naturally smooth with it or are experienced after a lot of trial and error. Imo if she is not a slut, you need the chemistry and sometimes the fear of losing you/losing you to a rival for your affection.
3. Be bold. Men who ponce around get put in the friend zone as they don't have the bravery, it communicates the wrong qualities. It's like being a striker, you don't score if you are not brave. If you miss? Play it down and be unaffected to her face. Call it mistake if you must and move on to other girls whilst keeping her on the backburner.
These three facets btw are what the stereotypical complaining "nice guy" tend to miss. They have no qualities usually except from being nice. But they were 'nice' right and she should date them because of that?