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He doesn't love me anymore Watch

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    Hey, I'm sorry if this is a bit rambling, my emotions are all over the place.

    So my boyfriend and I have been together a while. It took him a while to say he loved me initially (a good two or three months after I knew I loved him).

    Anyway, lately things have been going really well (there was a rough patch about two months ago). Especially this past week or two, everything has been amazing.

    But then the other night, we were about to go to sleep (after spending a fun evening with some friends) and I curled up to him and said 'I love you' - as we usually do before going to bed. He asked 'really?' and I said 'of course silly' and then I added in a joking tone 'why? don't you love me anymore?'

    He said 'no, I don't think I do'.

    I was heartbroken. I turned over so he wouldn't see me cry. He then said 'I'm sorry, I just wanted to be honest and not lie to you'. I decided I should probably get up and go home instead of stay the rest of the night at his.

    As I get up and get dressed he says the worst line ever - 'but I still care about you'. Ugh.

    Anyway, I left and went back to mine that night. And I haven't heard from him since.

    I'm so heartbroken. I love him more than anything but obviously I know that if he doesn't love me anymore there is nothing I can do to change that and I guess it means we're over.

    I just don't know how to cope. This is so upsetting and it's coincided with me having a big issue with my health at the moment and my dissertation deadline coming up. I just don't know what to do.
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    "This is so upsetting and it's coincided with me having a big issue with my health at the moment and my dissertation deadline coming up."

    Are you under 25?
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    I made at the time a good friend cry when I did something similar.

    Never sleep with freinds, and say you love them for jokes.
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    (Original post by Anonymous Coward)
    "This is so upsetting and it's coincided with me having a big issue with my health at the moment and my dissertation deadline coming up."

    Are you under 25?
    Why does it matter?
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    Aww this sounds so sad
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    You need to have a proper talk with him about what's changed etc, and call off this relationship. And don't contact him - it'll give you time to try to deal with if, and if he was just confused about his feelings then it'll give him space to realise he misses you.
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    Damn that's cold, I mean I guess honesty is the best policy and all that but...ouch. I'd move on tbh, even if he goes back on it, it's been said, so it must be on his mind. Even if you're okay for another few months, it'll just re-surface.
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    That must of been really hard to hear, I'm so sorry sweetie! You've just got to keep your mind on the fact that he cared enough about you to not lie to you. It can't have been easy for him either, and you will get through it!

    You should ask him to tell you why, and then try to move on.

    Message me if you need a chat, been through something similar recently myself xx
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    I hate the way he has just come out with it for you. Were there no warning signs?! I don't get it , especially if he has been nice and things going well these last few weeks.

    Talk to him, but if it doesn't work, then I wish you all the best!
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    Thanks everyone for replying

    (Original post by joker12345)
    You need to have a proper talk with him about what's changed etc, and call off this relationship. And don't contact him - it'll give you time to try to deal with if, and if he was just confused about his feelings then it'll give him space to realise he misses you.
    I do really want to know what changed, just the day before he was being fine and as normal, making plans for stuff to do in the next few weeks etc. And still saying he loved me. Confusing.

    I'm not contacting him, waiting until he is ready to talk to me - I think that's probably best right now.

    (Original post by joey11223)
    Damn that's cold, I mean I guess honesty is the best policy and all that but...ouch. I'd move on tbh, even if he goes back on it, it's been said, so it must be on his mind. Even if you're okay for another few months, it'll just re-surface.
    He's normally so sweet and considerate, I was really shocked at how he could suddenly be so cold. I ended up walking home crying at midnight through a really really rough neighbourhood and I was actually really upset that he didn't even text to make sure I got home safe (is that a bit selfish or needy? I don't know).

    But yes, I know what you mean. Once that's been said I guess it ends the relationship. If he did take it back and say he didn't mean it and we stayed together I'd always be questioning how he felt - that would be horribly destructive.
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    (Original post by Quilt)
    That must of been really hard to hear, I'm so sorry sweetie! You've just got to keep your mind on the fact that he cared enough about you to not lie to you. It can't have been easy for him either, and you will get through it!

    You should ask him to tell you why, and then try to move on.

    Message me if you need a chat, been through something similar recently myself xx
    Thank you so much, I'll message you if I need a chat

    (Original post by stargirl63)
    I hate the way he has just come out with it for you. Were there no warning signs?! I don't get it , especially if he has been nice and things going well these last few weeks.

    Talk to him, but if it doesn't work, then I wish you all the best!
    I was so shocked! It was totally out of the blue, absolutely no warning signs. Literally the day before it happened he was making plans with me to do stuff with his friends this weekend, trying to time when he was going to drive home for Easter based on when I was going, booking us tickets to go see some music stuff next week etc. So confusing.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)


    He's normally so sweet and considerate, I was really shocked at how he could suddenly be so cold. I ended up walking home crying at midnight through a really really rough neighbourhood and I was actually really upset that he didn't even text to make sure I got home safe (is that a bit selfish or needy? I don't know).
    Understandable, albeit I suppose a text asking if you got home safe may seem a little...out of place or odd, after what had just transpired.

    I suppose it wouldn't exactly be nice for him have said he loved you too...then gone back on it by calling you and asking to call or talk next time you came etc, but it might have been a better option.
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    Strong feeling he's in love with another girl. Sorry OP
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thank you so much, I'll message you if I need a chat



    I was so shocked! It was totally out of the blue, absolutely no warning signs. Literally the day before it happened he was making plans with me to do stuff with his friends this weekend, trying to time when he was going to drive home for Easter based on when I was going, booking us tickets to go see some music stuff next week etc. So confusing.
    My ex broke up with me in a really similar situation, it'd just been Valentines day, we'd had a perfect few weeks and been so happy and everything, there were no warnings and we had other plans, even to go on holiday together in Summer, and then he did it and I was so shocked. You've just gotta work past it hun! It'd be best to find out his reason though, just so you're not constantly thinking about it.
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    (Original post by LieselPieterse)
    Try to stop paying him the attention! Success is the best revenge, better yourself and he will be kicking himself!
    Why does OP need to take revenge? He was honest with her.


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    (Original post by LightBlueSoldier)
    Why does OP need to take revenge? He was honest with her.


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    Yeah, I don't see why I'd need revenge? I'm not vindictive and horrible, he was honest with me, and while that's upsetting, I wouldn't want to deliberately hurt him in return.
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    He didn't time that well to be honest. He should have waited until a less intimate moment to say so.
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    That sounds horrible. People posting similar stories scares me a little too.

    I feel like talking to him might help you to get closure, otherwise you may find it a lot harder to move on. Find things to distract you in the mean time, do things you enjoy and hang out with friends.
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    (Original post by LieselPieterse)
    Well he acted as though everything was fine up until that night so obviously their was some sort of miscommunication and not comeplete honesty. She also never got a reason or an explanation which is unfair how do you know he's been completely honest with her? And no matter how someone does a break up it will upset you, you can't say that if someone broke up with you and it hurt you that you wouldn't have got just a little satisfaction of bettering yourself and them thinking why did I break up with you?
    I'm not saying go back out with him, or humiliate him I'm saying better yourself you'll feel better(making good out what seems to be a unhappy situation) and he might have a slight second thought and that thought is reasonable revenge for upsetting her.
    If someone upsets me through no fault of their own (as in this case) I don't care about getting back at them. I move on, as OP should.

    And really OPs boyfriend handled it as well as could be expected. You can't really go up to your other half and say 'I think I'm falling out of love but can we stay together to see for sure' can you?


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    (Original post by LieselPieterse)
    You're acting as though I've told her to win him back and do the same thing to him or cheat on him or ruin his next relationship or humiliate him. I have just said to better herself to make herself feel better to put a positive spin on things I haven't suggested something that will necessarily get back at him but make him question his break up with her for a second! It isn't going to purposely hurt him or anything and it wouldn't be focussing on him he will just obviously have a reaction towards her success he's bound to cause he still cares about her right. This happens with practically every break up, one of them or both put their energy in themselves and try to feel better about an upsetting situation and it's common it's nothing drastic. I'm not saying get the success and shove it in his face and make him feel bad but he's Bound to hear it off someone isn't he and then he will know that she has moved on and it hasn't broke her but that she is a positive person
    She shouldn't care what he thinks. Once they've broken up she shouldn't be thinking about her ex at all. What you're suggesting is extremely damaging to her.


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