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I think my girlfriend is asexual Watch

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    I'm a 17 year old lesbian and in a relationship with a girl I really care about, we're both virgins but I think she may be asexual (and homoromantic).
    She's hinted at it a couple of times that she doesn't really think about or see the appeal of sex.
    I really care about her but I have a high sex drive and she seems to not have one at all, it sounds shallow but I do believe sex is an important part of a relationship and it's definitely something I want in a relationship, but at the same time I want to be with her.
    What should I do?
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    You just have to be honest and find out where you actually stand. Don't make assumptions before you've discussed the issue with her but be frank about your stance on the matter and take it from there. There's no point carrying on with something that will potentially be a deal-breaker later down the line. Good luck!
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    (Original post by The_Dragonborn)
    I actually made it up myself (I'm being serious, no joke at all), so if anyone tries to use it on you, you can actually say "Yeeeaaahhh, I know the guy who made that line up."
    And as soon as you say it the girls become slappers. Literally.

    Yeeeaaahhh!

    EDIT: Just realised that my joke wasn't actually that good.
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    (Original post by The_Dragonborn)
    Oh something's "escalating" I can tell you...

    (I'm actually quite good at this )
    Hot Dayum
    This is getting fun to read

    Sorry OP, you should really sit down and have a chat with her
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    (Original post by OhhNo)
    I'm a 17 year old lesbian and in a relationship with a girl I really care about, we're both virgins but I think she may be asexual (and homoromantic).
    She's hinted at it a couple of times that she doesn't really think about or see the appeal of sex.
    I really care about her but I have a high sex drive and she seems to not have one at all, it sounds shallow but I do believe sex is an important part of a relationship and it's definitely something I want in a relationship, but at the same time I want to be with her.
    What should I do?
    It isn't shallow at all, most hetero and homo sexuals find sex to be an essential part of a relationship. If she doesn't ever want it, it's unlikely a relationship can work.

    However, you're both young and virgins, it could easily be that she's just nervous, or wants to take things slow, or just isn't ready.

    Maybe tell her that you feel ready for your relationship to become sexual, and see what she says?
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    Can we not hijack the thread with off-topic chat please.
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    Homoromantic? What the duck does that mean?

    OP 17 is still really young, have you considered that maybe she just isnt in the frame of mind to want a sexual relationship at the moment? Is it her you care about, or do you just want some action?
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    (Original post by Double Agent)
    Homoromantic? What the duck does that mean?

    OP 17 is still really young, have you considered that maybe she just isnt in the frame of mind to want a sexual relationship at the moment? Is it her you care about, or do you just want some action?
    Homoromantic means emotionally attracted to the same sex.
    I do care about her, and I'm not suggesting that I want a sexual relationship right now but in the future I'd like to know what to expect, I haven't asked her if she wants sex it's just based on things she says and comments she makes I think she might be hinting at being asexual.
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    (Original post by The_Dragonborn)
    I actually made it up myself (I'm being serious, no joke at all), so if anyone tries to use it on you, you can actually say "Yeeeaaahhh, I know the guy who made that line up."
    Bull****. I've heard that line a million times before going back about 4 years. Nice try.
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    (Original post by Double Agent)
    Homoromantic? What the duck does that mean?

    OP 17 is still really young, have you considered that maybe she just isnt in the frame of mind to want a sexual relationship at the moment? Is it her you care about, or do you just want some action?
    Romantic attraction to people of the same sex.
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    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    It isn't shallow at all, most hetero and homo sexuals find sex to be an essential part of a relationship. If she doesn't ever want it, it's unlikely a relationship can work.

    However, you're both young and virgins, it could easily be that she's just nervous, or wants to take things slow, or just isn't ready.

    Maybe tell her that you feel ready for your relationship to become sexual, and see what she says?
    Its just that she's said things suggesting that she doesn't see the appeal of sex (in general, not just in relatoon to me) and only sees romantic interest rather than sexual, which makes me think that it's not her being nervous and more her just not being interested in sex
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    Maybe she's not a lesbian or maybe she's not attracted to you. Some people are just scared of sex. If she doesn't want to have sex, then that sounds like more of a friendship to me. You shouldn't deny yourself a sexual relationship, as you'll end up resenting her for it.
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    (Original post by OhhNo)
    Homoromantic means emotionally attracted to the same sex.
    I do care about her, and I'm not suggesting that I want a sexual relationship right now but in the future I'd like to know what to expect, I haven't asked her if she wants sex it's just based on things she says and comments she makes I think she might be hinting at being asexual.
    Well there's one of your problems. You should ask her. Just tell her that you've noticed her say things that suggests she's asexual and you'd like to know if sex is a possibility later. Be sure to make it very clear that there's no pressure in her answering that she will be interested in sex.

    However, maybe she just doesn't know yet. She COULD be scared of sex, scared of the unknown, which would be fine but if that's not the case then I think you should find out.
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    (Original post by OhhNo)
    Homoromantic means emotionally attracted to the same sex.
    I do care about her, and I'm not suggesting that I want a sexual relationship right now but in the future I'd like to know what to expect, I haven't asked her if she wants sex it's just based on things she says and comments she makes I think she might be hinting at being asexual.
    To be honest, as much as you like her some people are just incompatible. If she does turn out to be asexual you need to ask yourself "can I happily go out with this girl and never get intimate with her, and never try force her to be intimate". If not, then maybe you're better as friends? There's plenty of fish in the sea, I'd just say be mindful you don't exhaust a load of energy in a relationship that's destined to fail from the start.
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    (Original post by OhhNo)
    Its just that she's said things suggesting that she doesn't see the appeal of sex (in general, not just in relatoon to me) and only sees romantic interest rather than sexual, which makes me think that it's not her being nervous and more her just not being interested in sex
    She might just not be ready for sex, that's hardly unheard of in a seventeen year old. Just because she says that, it doesn't mean she really feels it, it might be her way of communicating to you that she doesn't want to take things to the next level yet.

    But we can only really speculate. Have you initiated anything with her?
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    (Original post by Mankytoes)
    She might just not be ready for sex, that's hardly unheard of in a seventeen year old. Just because she says that, it doesn't mean she really feels it, it might be her way of communicating to you that she doesn't want to take things to the next level yet.

    But we can only really speculate. Have you initiated anything with her?
    I haven't initiated anything as in actually saying anything, and a lot of the time when I'm with her there's someone else in the house so...yeah
    But she doesn't seem nervous or not ready, she just seems disinterested, but she's perfectly happy to kiss me, she just doesn't seem interested in taking it any further than that, like it seems as though it would be pointless to her
 
 
 
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