Join TSR now for chat about life, relationships, fashion and more…Sign up now

Should my dad be disappointed in me for not having low T? Watch

    • Thread Starter

    As thread says, although I wonder whether this is one of my paranoid obsessions. As I have a low-pitched voice to my dad and less of a beer belly than him (and also I'm younger), I think I might have a higher libido than him. This has began to improve since I started lifting weights again last week, before that I couldn't always get it up (although I can't always atm still :/). It is especially important right now that I can feel sexually empowered (sexy) without guilt and possible ED because of my recent breakup.

    However, I think it's something that will disappoint my dad. I sometimes find myself thinking 'I should not need to be able to get it up or stay hard to be happy'. I also think he will take it as a sign of low self-esteem if I aim for an athletic physique, of which one of the benefits is feeling sexually attractive and allegedly you perform better.

    I'm at a loss as to what to do. At the far end of the scale I will sometimes have nightmarish visions of either my dad being pleased at the idea of me being castrated, or being transformed back into a prepubescent boy for my parents. This could be pure paranoia as it's physically impossible, (and somebody I was sent to suspected I had OCD or was a high-functioning autistic)...but the easiest way to psychologically make myself a child again would be to render myself impotent and free forms sexual urges.

    It is sort of like I feel guilty and scared at the idea of becoming an adult and the sexual potential of that. These are concerns I wanted to share with my ex girlfriend but was afraid to do so because they are frankly a bit weird.

    I put this in the health section because when this fear strikes I get a compulsion to do things to lower my libido to please my parents and protect myself from the sexual nature of adulthood, I wouldn't say they're risks to my health but I will basically get guilt for being fit and healthy and then sabotage that.

    Before anyone asks I'm discussing this with my counsellor at some point, failing that therapy.
    Also I'm getting a blood test in 2 weeks to check I actually do have low testosterone.

    Gosh I've noticed you've made a lot of threads regarding your health. You sound like you have anxiety issues. I
    Some general advice - don't feel pressured to do anything you are really uncomfortable with and just focus on improving your own perception of yourself.

    well for a start I would not want to know about my dad's libido, and I am sure he does not want to know about mine. Eww.

    And I am pretty sure no father ever was disappointed about their son becoming more of a man. If he does actually want you to remain a kid forever then he has issues and it is not your concern. I am pretty sure this is your paranoia flaring up again. You are already an adult, whether you like it or not. You are not going to revert to a child and attempting to do so is just going to make these issues worse, just keep going forwards.

    Your daddy needs to tell you he approves of you being a big man

    Since he is not here, this isn't particularly helpful.

    Dude that's a lot to be carrying around with you, talk to your counsiller about it. He should help you rationalize these irrational anxieties. When you have such a confused self image mixed with the weight of your dad's perceptions of you. no wonder you aren't staying hard. You've got too much going on up there to concentrate and relax.

    Why would your Dad even be bothered? Are you suggesting that you think your Dad would prefer you to have something wrong with you just so he can be the bigger man? You really should take a step back and see how ridiculous some of these threads sound.
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: April 17, 2014
Which Fantasy Franchise is the best?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Quick reply
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.