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    Right I've seen a few threads about this and I need opinions on this particular situation. I will be graduating in July and since November of last year I've been applying for jobs and all I got was rejection after rejection. At this point me and my husband have decided that if I don't get anything by April, we would be trying to start a family. No problem with that except we have agreed a while back that I will stay at home until any children that we have starts school. That's when I'll start my career, whatever that may be. Money is not an issue as he just had a promotion and I won't be claiming any benefits.

    My question here is, how bad would it be that I would have a degree but I am choosing to delay starting my career to be a stay at home wife and mum?

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    (Original post by donutaud15)
    Right I've seen a few threads about this and I need opinions on this particular situation. I will be graduating in July and since November of last year I've been applying for jobs and all I got was rejection after rejection. At this point me and my husband have decided that if I don't get anything by April, we would be trying to start a family. No problem with that except we have agreed a while back that I will stay at home until any children that we have starts school. That's when I'll start my career, whatever that may be. Money is not an issue as he just had a promotion and I won't be claiming any benefits.

    My question here is, how bad would it be that I would have a degree but I am choosing to delay starting my career to be a stay at home wife and mum?

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    It's your life. Why would you care what random people on the Internet think about you? However, I would give you the advice that you should not give up everything and make your life completely about your partner and children. Maintain some other interests and hobbies. Keep your friends.


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    (Original post by LightBlueSoldier)
    It's your life. Why would you care what random people on the Internet think about you? However, I would give you the advice that you should not give up everything and make your life completely about your partner and children. Maintain some other interests and hobbies. Keep your friends.


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    At the moment I prefer impartial advice from strangers. My family and friends are too involved.

    I do have interests and hobbies, I made it clear to my husband that I still intend to do them. I am likely to be in bed rest once I'm pregnant so would have some time for my particular hobby.

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    (Original post by donutaud15)
    At the moment I prefer impartial advice from strangers. My family and friends are too involved.

    I do have interests and hobbies, I made it clear to my husband that I still intend to do them. I am likely to be in bed rest once I'm pregnant so would have some time for my particular hobby.

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    I only mention it because it happens to a lot of people (my mum included). You need to maintain some individuality.


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    (Original post by LightBlueSoldier)
    I only mention it because it happens to a lot of people (my mum included). You need to maintain some individuality.


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    I agree with you.

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    I'd be ashamed of it if I were related to you if it was simply staying at home and raising kids. Run some sort of business around it though and it would be fine. My mother has always been a 'stay at home mum' but has always been making useful amounts of money to contribute to the household finances at the same time.
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    (Original post by 345rty)
    I'd be ashamed of it if I were related to you if it was simply staying at home and raising kids. Run some sort of business around it though and it would be fine. My mother has always been a 'stay at home mum' but has always been making useful amounts of money to contribute to the household finances at the same time.
    I have an idea for business (related to my hobby) but I was told by several people to see how it goes first since no one know if I will cope with a baby and a disability.I see where you're coming from though, the idea of not contributing to the household finances kinda makes me uncomfortable.

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    Anyone?

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    You want a career, have applied for jobs but been unsuccessful, you have qualms about not contributing financially. You don't sound unmotivated, you're not planning on scrounging off someone else all your life, you just haven't found an opportunity yet and have decided to take some time out with your family. Nothing wrong with that.
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    I'd say go for it, if you're sure it's the right time for yourself and your husband. The only thing that does need to be considered in terms of starting your career in 4 or so years' time is that you will have a relatively large gap in your CV. You will be able to say you were spending your time raising your children, but in terms of skills and experience you will be competing against uni graduates who have those extra years on you if that makes sense. Just something to think about, although it's not like you haven't tried finding work already, so if you both think it's the right time and you're secure financially I don't see any issue with that
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    There's no shame at all in deciding to be a stay at home Mum for a few years before continuing to pursue your career. You've worked hard for your degree and are not giving up on achieving your potential, just postponing it while you start your family. It might also give you more time to think about your various options. Do what makes you happy; if people judge you for delaying your career slightly because you want to start a family then those people are not worth bothering about.
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    (Original post by donutaud15)
    Right I've seen a few threads about this and I need opinions on this particular situation. I will be graduating in July and since November of last year I've been applying for jobs and all I got was rejection after rejection. At this point me and my husband have decided that if I don't get anything by April, we would be trying to start a family. No problem with that except we have agreed a while back that I will stay at home until any children that we have starts school. That's when I'll start my career, whatever that may be. Money is not an issue as he just had a promotion and I won't be claiming any benefits.

    My question here is, how bad would it be that I would have a degree but I am choosing to delay starting my career to be a stay at home wife and mum?

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    Go for it. Stay at home mum is the easiest job in the world. It's practically a walk in the park (they have manuals on how to perfect it). I would love to be able to go through life without working but hey I am man. But if i was female i would 100% go for it
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    Don't worry. Gaps in CV's only apply to men. A few months unemployment is the end. But women of course can do what they want.
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    If you are already in the financial position to have kids I see no reason that you should have to arbitrarily wait a few years while you work before you have them, so I say go for it. Having children is obviously something that is important to you so there is no reason you should feel guilty about delaying work for it, especially since you have a husband to support you. The only reason I had a problem with Red One was because she had no intention of working despite not having a husband or kids, or even the imminent prospect of either, and for some reason still thinks that she is actually contributing to society somehow.
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    (Original post by MASTER265)
    Go for it. Stay at home mum is the easiest job in the world. It's practically a walk in the park (they have manuals on how to perfect it). I would love to be able to go through life without working but hey I am man. But if i was female i would 100% go for it
    Literally cannot tell if you're attempting irony or not.
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    (Original post by SpicyStrawberry)
    I'd say go for it, if you're sure it's the right time for yourself and your husband. The only thing that does need to be considered in terms of starting your career in 4 or so years' time is that you will have a relatively large gap in your CV. You will be able to say you were spending your time raising your children, but in terms of skills and experience you will be competing against uni graduates who have those extra years on you if that makes sense. Just something to think about, although it's not like you haven't tried finding work already, so if you both think it's the right time and you're secure financially I don't see any issue with that
    CV gap is part of my worry. If it's hard for me to get a job now, I imagine things will be harder in few years.
    (Original post by MASTER265)
    Go for it. Stay at home mum is the easiest job in the world. It's practically a walk in the park (they have manuals on how to perfect it). I would love to be able to go through life without working but hey I am man. But if i was female i would 100% go for it
    Being a stay at home is not easy. I have a hard time being a stay at home wife and I imagine that a baby will only make things harder.

    (Original post by Old_Simon)
    Don't worry. Gaps in CV's only apply to men. A few months unemployment is the end. But women of course can do what they want.
    I've seen women struggle to go to work after a long gap and that's a worry.



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    (Original post by donutaud15)
    Right I've seen a few threads about this and I need opinions on this particular situation. I will be graduating in July and since November of last year I've been applying for jobs and all I got was rejection after rejection. At this point me and my husband have decided that if I don't get anything by April, we would be trying to start a family. No problem with that except we have agreed a while back that I will stay at home until any children that we have starts school. That's when I'll start my career, whatever that may be. Money is not an issue as he just had a promotion and I won't be claiming any benefits.

    My question here is, how bad would it be that I would have a degree but I am choosing to delay starting my career to be a stay at home wife and mum?

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    You two sure don't waste any time.
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    (Original post by lucaf)
    If you are already in the financial position to have kids I see no reason that you should have to arbitrarily wait a few years while you work before you have them, so I say go for it. Having children is obviously something that is important to you so there is no reason you should feel guilty about delaying work for it, especially since you have a husband to support you. The only reason I had a problem with Red One was because she had no intention of working despite not having a husband or kids, or even the imminent prospect of either, and for some reason still thinks that she is actually contributing to society somehow.
    Part of the guilt is not starting to pay my student loans soon so I feel like a burden to society somehow, if that makes sense.

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    (Original post by donutaud15)
    CV gap is part of my worry. If it's hard for me to get a job now, I imagine things will be harder in few years.


    Being a stay at home is not easy. I have a hard time being a stay at home wife and I imagine that a baby will only make things harder.



    I've seen women struggle to go to work after a long gap and that's a worry.



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    Stay at home is so so easy. 1 you do not have to travel more than 15 metre 2 cleaning is a joke it's easy, I mastered it at the age of 8. 3 there are multiple classes and training for bringing up kids, literally it's a 1/10th of the work you put in to study a degree. 4 you have no boss. 5 you have food, toilet, tv and magazines at your side when you require it. 6 you have no targets or profit margins to think about. I could go on, the job is a joke and someone with the IQ range of a crumpet could do it.
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    It's absolutely your life and your choice. You say you won't be claiming benefits, so there's literally nobody on here who can judge you for it, because your decisions would not affect them at all.

    However I'm not entirely certain that your attitude of "if I don't find anything by April we'll have a baby" lies easy with me. If you want a baby, have a baby. But don't make it sound as though it's a last resort..

    That's not in any way getting at you, it's probably just the wording of it.

    There's nothing wrong with being a stay at home parent, you'll certainly realise it's hard enough work when the time comes, so don't let anyone put you down about it if you want to do it.
 
 
 
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