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What is wrong with dating lots of women at a time?

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Original post by hellodave5
Its not against the law, but you won't find many people who would be happy with it... if you can find people, then nothing stopping you :smile:
EDIT: I think friends with benefits is the term? :P


Surely, they can be unhappy that is their choice, but if another person is happy in a different way, they is also their choice? I mean lots of people have secrets why should relationships be any different?
How would you like that happen to you? One day you might fall hard for a girl in love... how would you to find out she was playingyou with other guys? Not very nice, is it? Treat others how you would like to be treated bro
Reply 22
Avatar for Aivicore
Aivicore
16
The important point is whether or not you tell them. I'm an advocate for polyamorous relationships where everyone involved knows the score, and was actually involved myself last year, at one point having three (consenting) partners at the same time, who all each had other girlfriends too.

However, cheating is something else entirely, whether your girlfriend knows about it or not. You are lying about what kind of values and morals you hold by deliberately withholding the truth and putting people at increased risk of STI's. If you're unable to tell someone you're sleeping with other people, it's because you know that they wouldn't be happy about it - Therefore you are knowingly doing something emotionally harmful to this person.
Original post by Cremecup123
How would you like that happen to you? One day you might fall hard for a girl in love... how would you to find out she was playingyou with other guys? Not very nice, is it? Treat others how you would like to be treated bro


How would dating/being in a relationship with multiple women make it more likely for the person doing this to have it happen to them? It is not particularly logical. If anything having multiple women could lead to the maximum pleasure for all involved as all would feel important.
Original post by Anonymous
Again, why does everyone need to be aware of it? Surely in our diverse age, many diverse lifestyles can be lived. Freedom of choice?


What about freedom of awareness for the women themselves? You sound hedonistic which is perfectly fine but it's not very moral in the long run.
Original post by Aivicore
The important point is whether or not you tell them. I'm an advocate for polyamorous relationships where everyone involved knows the score, and was actually involved myself last year, at one point having three (consenting) partners at the same time, who all each had other girlfriends too.

However, cheating is something else entirely, whether your girlfriend knows about it or not. You are lying about what kind of values and morals you hold by deliberately withholding the truth and putting people at increased risk of STI's. If you're unable to tell someone you're sleeping with other people, it's because you know that they wouldn't be happy about it - Therefore you are knowingly doing something emotionally harmful to this person.


What if protection was used and STI's avoided? After all why does safety have to fly out the window just because one is engaged in multiple relationships.
Original post by WhimsicalSloth
What about freedom of awareness for the women themselves? You sound hedonistic which is perfectly fine but it's not very moral in the long run.


Everyone has their secrets.
Reply 27
Avatar for Ouli Anna
Ouli Anna
3
Original post by greatandgood
? Is there really anything wrong with dating lots of women at the same time. Why must one feel compelled to inform them. I mean if it is legal why not do it? What they do not know will not hurt them.

Thing with seeing lots of people at the same time is that someone is bound to get hurt there is no doubt about it. If everyone is playing it free and easy and sleeping around then it is not a problem but if someone is focusing all their attention on you and wanting to make your relationship work and gets worried if you are not talking to her or why her friends say that they have seen you with someone else but she wants to trust you then it is cruel and selfish.
Original post by Anonymous
How would dating/being in a relationship with multiple women make it more likely for the person doing this to have it happen to them? It is not particularly logical. If anything having multiple women could lead to the maximum pleasure for all involved as all would feel important.


Erm that is like saying if one person trips over in the street, it isnt likely for the person who witnessed that event to trip themselves later on in their life. Your point is invalid. Everyone is human at the end of the day, we all have the capacity to care about someone. I'm a firm believer in what comes around goes around.
Original post by Ouli Anna
Thing with seeing lots of people at the same time is that someone is bound to get hurt there is no doubt about it. If everyone is playing it free and easy and sleeping around then it is not a problem but if someone is focusing all their attention on you and wanting to make your relationship work and gets worried if you are not talking to her or why her friends say that they have seen you with someone else but she wants to trust you then it is cruel and selfish.


Surely if discretion is proper then this should not occur? What about if there was a significant distance between all of the relationships to make any danger minimal?
Original post by Anonymous
Surely, they can be unhappy that is their choice, but if another person is happy in a different way, they is also their choice? I mean lots of people have secrets why should relationships be any different?


Yeah, it is quite arbitrary. It is ones choice if they decide to cheat, and that decision tends to depend on personality; not very conscientious and quite thrill seeking.

A fling or open relationship is completely different though, and people do do that.

If it is agreed, like as I said friends with benefits with no strings, then that is fine.

There can also be social consequences of cheating or having multiple relationships which are meant to be monogamous at one time. Being labelled a 'cheater' isn't a good thing.

EDIT: To date someone, there is the held assumption that it is monogamous... so it would essentially be, well, doing that person over... so morally, not goood
(edited 10 years ago)
If they all know, its fine.
Reply 32
Avatar for Huskaris
Huskaris
16
Can we all please stop slut shaming the OP please.

The patriarchy in this thread is deafening.
I can see a problem with actually being in a relationship with one woman, let alone multiple! You would spend loads of money and would have no time for private endeavours such as masturbation or playing rugby or actually having fun! Plus you would be walking on eggshells the whole time by managing not to say "wow you are so much better at intercourse than your mother". You're on the student room because I'm guessing you're a student. So like me, we're both young! We should enjoy being single. I'm with my teacher when he says "Life's a b*tch and then you marry one" enjoy yourself, being young only comes once in a lifetime - just like Santa only comes once a year...
Original post by hellodave5
Yeah, it is quite arbitrary. It is ones choice if they decide to cheat, and that decision tends to depend on personality; not very conscientious and quite thrill seeking.

A fling or open relationship is completely different though, and people do do that.

If it is agreed, like as I said friends with benefits with no strings, then that is fine.

There can also be social consequences of cheating or having multiple relationships which are meant to be monogamous at one time. Being labelled a 'cheater' isn't a good thing.

EDIT: To date someone, there is the held assumption that it is monogamous... so it would essentially be, well, doing that person over... so morally, not goood


What if one had a serious relationship with one person but numerous "flings" with others, that way no body gets hurt as only one person needs to know?
There's nothing wrong with having more casual hook-ups/open relationships. HOWEVER, it needs to be in a way that you are open and honest and respectful towards those who you date. They need to be aware that this is the dynamic you pursue. Some will be into it, some won't.

Allegedly committing yourself to one person, only to sleep with half a bar behind their back, makes you a bottom-feeding **** stain.
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Sorrowful_Watchm
There's nothing wrong with having more casual hook-ups/open relationships. HOWEVER, it needs to be in a way that you are open and honest and respectful towards those who you date. They need to be aware that this is the dynamic you pursue. Some will be into it, some won't.

Allegedly committing yourself to one person, only to sleep with half a bar behind their back, makes you a bottom-feeding **** stain.


Why?
(edited 10 years ago)
Original post by Aivicore
The important point is whether or not you tell them. I'm an advocate for polyamorous relationships where everyone involved knows the score, and was actually involved myself last year, at one point having three (consenting) partners at the same time, who all each had other girlfriends too.

However, cheating is something else entirely, whether your girlfriend knows about it or not. You are lying about what kind of values and morals you hold by deliberately withholding the truth and putting people at increased risk of STI's. If you're unable to tell someone you're sleeping with other people, it's because you know that they wouldn't be happy about it - Therefore you are knowingly doing something emotionally harmful to this person.

shes cracked it...

respect points +5
Original post by trustmeimlying1
shes cracked it...

respect points +5


Surely it is just a difference of opinion?
Reply 39
Avatar for greatandgood
greatandgood
OP
Original post by trustmeimlying1
shes cracked it...

respect points +5


Why do you say that?

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