i think you just have to try to accept that this is you, you only get one life (unless you believe otherwise lol) and you need to try to make the most of it, not spend your whole life trying to change or wishing you looked differently. i know it seems hard and it might take a long time for you to be happy with yourself, but really, as long as you're alive and healthy, you have friends/ family/people to talk to, you should be grateful for that. looks aren't as important as you think.
sorry to be so blunt lol i just think it's good to look at the bigger picture sometimes, it really does help. you probably just need to get out of yourself a bit more, concentrate on other more positive things in your life, try not to focus on how you look so much.