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Best friend's new girlfriend :(

I've always been really close to my best friend, like we kinda flirt a bit and lie in bed cuddling and talking until 6 in the morning but I don't see him as more than a friend so it's cool. But now he has a girlfriend who hates my guts. She won't stop staring at us in lectures if we sit together but it's fine if he's with anyone else and she's told him loads of times to stay away from me. She's on my course at uni though so being mortal enemies with her is probably a bad idea :tongue: How can I get her to chill her tits without losing my best friend?
(Anon because I think she's on here)

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I don't think it's very reasonable to expect a girl to be okay with her boyfriend cuddling in bed with another girl, even if he is your best friend! Unless ofcourse she didn't mean very much to him, I think it would be wise to respect social boundaries more! You don;t want to get your best friend riled up now do you because you've annoyed a potential lay? :lolwut:
Reply 2
Original post by Fashion Girl
I don't think it's very reasonable to expect a girl to be okay with her boyfriend cuddling in bed with another girl, even if he is your best friend! Unless ofcourse she didn't mean very much to him, I think it would be wise to respect social boundaries more! You don;t want to get your best friend riled up now do you because you've annoyed a potential lay? :lolwut:


tbf she doesn't know we cuddle in bed :tongue: It's usually after movie nights, does that make it more socially acceptable? He initiates it more than me. If everyone's going out and I don't go, he'll text me saying 'I'm going to be so bored without you :'(' and he always goes on about how he has a soft spot for me. He even calls me hot when he's drunk... I don't see why it's wrong to reciprocate in a non-sexual way. I'm pretty touchy-feely with everyone, I'm not going to change that because one person doesn't like it.
Original post by Anonymous
tbf she doesn't know we cuddle in bed :tongue: It's usually after movie nights, does that make it more socially acceptable? He initiates it more than me. If everyone's going out and I don't go, he'll text me saying 'I'm going to be so bored without you :'(' and he always goes on about how he has a soft spot for me. He even calls me hot when he's drunk... I don't see why it's wrong to reciprocate in a non-sexual way. I'm pretty touchy-feely with everyone, I'm not going to change that because one person doesn't like it.


Sorry to be truthful but that's really not okay :frown: She should know you cuddle in bed and should dump him really as to be saying this stuff to you etc means he's a bit of an arse... It is wrong to reciprocate as he clearly feels some level of attraction for you. Whether you want to or not, you really have to stop being touchy- freely with this guy- he's got a girlfriend and he clearly likes you not just in a platonic way. Respect his feelings and stop all of this and make it clear you do not like him in this way- if he's a really good friend to you, you will do that. If you put yourself in the place of the girl, you would not be happy. I think you know it's wrong to reciprocate; you keep it going probably as you enjoy the attention. However really sorry to be mean to you but that's pretty selfish and you just need to stop. If the guy does have feelings for you it might be better to stop being friends altogether. Also, his girlfriend needs to know all this. It's really not fair.
Original post by Anonymous
I've always been really close to my best friend, like we kinda flirt a bit and lie in bed cuddling and talking until 6 in the morning but I don't see him as more than a friend so it's cool. But now he has a girlfriend who hates my guts. She won't stop staring at us in lectures if we sit together but it's fine if he's with anyone else and she's told him loads of times to stay away from me. She's on my course at uni though so being mortal enemies with her is probably a bad idea :tongue: How can I get her to chill her tits without losing my best friend?
(Anon because I think she's on here)

By the looks of it, he's attracted to you. He might have gotten a girlfriend because he thinks you're not interested in him and he probably doesn't want to be friend-zoned or something..
If this is incorrect, please blame teenage romance books.
Eggs apologises.
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
tbf she doesn't know we cuddle in bed :tongue: It's usually after movie nights, does that make it more socially acceptable? He initiates it more than me. If everyone's going out and I don't go, he'll text me saying 'I'm going to be so bored without you :'(' and he always goes on about how he has a soft spot for me. He even calls me hot when he's drunk... I don't see why it's wrong to reciprocate in a non-sexual way. I'm pretty touchy-feely with everyone, I'm not going to change that because one person doesn't like it.


You are being way to flirty with him, you know he has a girlfriend and so should stop. It isn't right.
Reply 6
He likes you.

Doesnt matter that you dont see it as anything more than friendly, it's pretty obvious. You need to quit flirting etc, and make it clear to him you aren't happy with him flirting with you whilst he has a gf. It's not cool.
Sorry but I'm on the girlfriend's side.
I'm more than happy for a boyfriend to have close female friends but cuddling with them in bed, calling them hot when drunk, saying they're lonely without them, would piss me off.
Seriously, put yourself in the position where you love someone and they're doing all that with another girl. It's not nice and it's obviously not just platonic.
Reply 8
B****es be crazy...
I'd really stop the cuddling in bed if I were you, he has a girlfriend. If you had a boyfriend, would you be pleased if he were to cuddle in bed with another girl? :redface:
If I were his girlfriend, I'd dump him for that behaviour. I respect myself far too much to put up with that nonsense from anyone.

You know it's wrong, as does he, which is why the girlfriend doesn't know about the lying in bed cuddling: I bet she doesn't know he calls you hot while drunk, or flirty texts you either.
If either party has to hide something in a relationship between them and another person, then it's not okay and it's going to end badly. You cannot play the victim card as you clearly enjoy the attention and know he is in a relationship.
I would not be happy if my boyfriend was cuddling another girl!


Posted from TSR Mobile
exact same situation here. don't make him choose, then he'd choose her..
if she makes him choose, then maybe, just maybe, he'd choose you over her.. but he'll still want the V from someone..

have a chat with her! and stop cuddling him, i backed off when mine got a gf
i keep my distance with him now, we're still best friends but i let him make the effort because if i do something, it pisses the gf off (which is kinda funny lmfao, she's so insecure)
He definitely doesn't have feelings for me! :colonhash: He's just messing around, we've both agreed that us being together would be really weird. He's got a girlfriend and I've got a boyfriend (who's completely fine with everything as long as I tell him about it) so nothing's going to happen. But he's literally a male version of me. We finish each other's sentences and everything, and call me selfish but I don't want to give that up. Either way, I'm living in a house with him and some other friends next year so I can't cut him out of my life.
Original post by Anonymous
exact same situation here. don't make him choose, then he'd choose her..
if she makes him choose, then maybe, just maybe, he'd choose you over her.. but he'll still want the V from someone..

have a chat with her! and stop cuddling him, i backed off when mine got a gf
i keep my distance with him now, we're still best friends but i let him make the effort because if i do something, it pisses the gf off (which is kinda funny lmfao, she's so insecure)


It's nice that someone understands where I'm coming from :smile: I wasn't going to make him choose, I'm not bothered who he gets with. What do you think I should say to her? haha I get what you mean about it being fun pissing off insecure gfs! You don't know how hard I try not to troll her :tongue:
Original post by Anonymous
tbf she doesn't know we cuddle in bed :tongue: It's usually after movie nights, does that make it more socially acceptable? He initiates it more than me. If everyone's going out and I don't go, he'll text me saying 'I'm going to be so bored without you :'(' and he always goes on about how he has a soft spot for me. He even calls me hot when he's drunk... I don't see why it's wrong to reciprocate in a non-sexual way. I'm pretty touchy-feely with everyone, I'm not going to change that because one person doesn't like it.


From the sound of it your best friend has issues! No its not more socially acceptable if you want to be so "hands on" with someone else's boyfriend :smile: !
Original post by Anonymous
tbf she doesn't know we cuddle in bed :tongue: It's usually after movie nights, does that make it more socially acceptable? He initiates it more than me. If everyone's going out and I don't go, he'll text me saying 'I'm going to be so bored without you :'(' and he always goes on about how he has a soft spot for me. He even calls me hot when he's drunk... I don't see why it's wrong to reciprocate in a non-sexual way. I'm pretty touchy-feely with everyone, I'm not going to change that because one person doesn't like it.

Sorry to say this, but your best friend likes you. I don't know why he got a girlfriend when he's attracted to you, but he definitely likes you, there's really no question of that.

I totally see where you're coming from, but he is seeing it as more than a platonic thing, so that's the issue.
Original post by EggsterminateMe
By the looks of it, he's attracted to you. He might have gotten a girlfriend because he thinks you're not interested in him and he probably doesn't want to be friend-zoned or something..
If this is incorrect, please blame teenage romance books.
Eggs apologises.


This.


Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Anonymous
He definitely doesn't have feelings for me! :colonhash: He's just messing around, we've both agreed that us being together would be really weird. He's got a girlfriend and I've got a boyfriend (who's completely fine with everything as long as I tell him about it) so nothing's going to happen. But he's literally a male version of me. We finish each other's sentences and everything, and call me selfish but I don't want to give that up. Either way, I'm living in a house with him and some other friends next year so I can't cut him out of my life.


He does find you attractive... It's obvious. Why is your boyfriend fine with that... It's disrespectful. I very much doubt that he's ACTUALLY fine with that-he would obviously much rather have you to himself and you must know that but are choosing to deny it. You're being INCREDIBLY selfish and to be quite frank a real b****.. I don't mean to be nasty to you but you've got to realise this it's really not fair! I think you should both break up with your partners. Sorry, but it's clearly the right thing to do. It's so unfair on them. And don't make up excuses and lie to yourself and say you're so in love with your bf etc, because you're clearly not as you wouldn't be that close to your male best friend..
Wrong on so many levels.

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