A choice between either

Tell them to stop making people choose sides.

Reply 2

OP

Sazarina88

Tell them to stop making people choose sides.

its not that easy.. its not a mere case of "he said she said"... the conflicts between them are so deep that they are involving the cops and parents and everything... I just soo dun wanna be into this... I jus wanna be on both sides, and maintain peace... help!

Reply 3

bunthulhu

anjurdsg

its not that easy.. its not a mere case of "he said she said"... the conflicts between them are so deep that they are involving the cops and parents and everything... I just soo dun wanna be into this... I jus wanna be on both sides, and maintain peace... help!

Say 'I'm sorry but I'm friends with both of you, I don't want to lose anyone so I'd rather stay neutral, but I still care and I'm happy to listen' ? :smile:

Reply 4

OP

bunthulhu

Say 'I'm sorry but I'm friends with both of you, I don't want to lose anyone so I'd rather stay neutral, but I still care and I'm happy to listen' ? :smile:

thanks for the advice, but sorry to say its no better than Sazarina88's... their conflicts are really serious, and staying "neutral" would mean that i'll slowly get shunned aside and out of the group... :frown:

Reply 5

Segat1

16

Based on you not accepting the above, I suggest you choose one of them.

Tell your mates to grow up, if they wish to remain friends with you they will have to accept that you wish no part in their tiff and that they are the ones who have to make decisions, not you or your other friend. It is their issue, not yours.

Reply 6

Sazarina88

Well if you really can't not take a side, I wouldn't take anyone's side.

You've said yourself you don't "wanna be into this" so don't be. Tell them that you like them both as friends but what they are asking you to do is unacceptable so you're not going to be friends with either of them.

I don't think this is the best thing to do, I really do think you should try and tell them you're not picking a side.

Reply 7

Ron Stoppable

anjurdsg

what do i do in such a case?

Reply 8

matt@internet

12

anjurdsg

its not that easy.. its not a mere case of "he said she said"... the conflicts between them are so deep that they are involving the cops and parents and everything... I just soo dun wanna be into this... I jus wanna be on both sides, and maintain peace... help!

Tell 'em you're not gonna take sides. Tell 'em you'll still be friends with both of them. If they cannot accept that, tell 'em you're sorry they don't value your friendship as much as you value theirs.

Reply 9

bunthulhu

anjurdsg

thanks for the advice, but sorry to say its no better than Sazarina88's... their conflicts are really serious, and staying "neutral" would mean that i'll slowly get shunned aside and out of the group... :frown:

Well if you don't want to stay neutral then clearly you are going to have to pick between them. Or pick neither and find some new friends!

Reply 10

Corkeys_queen

just tell them you'd rather not be friends with either of them until this is all sorted, say if it's not possible to stay friends with them both then you cant be friends with either of them..that way you can see how much they actually value you and your friendship!
Good luk with it, hope it all gets sorted soon!!

Reply 11

OP

I hope too it gets sorted soon.... but the cops!! the cops in singapore are horrible!

PS: Plus, the school headmaster has been informed!! so either of them, or worse case scenario, both of them, might get expelled.... i never knew it would turn this bad

Reply 12

smilee172

anjurdsg

Alrite guys, I'm stuck with a dilemma...

I have two friends who are against each other... they have gathered up other friends from our friend circle to be on their sides when I was away on a trip..

Now that I'm back, I'm the only person left to be sorted... Now they want me to make a decision as to who actually to be friends with... so its like basically "Choose Me, or Choose the Other and Lose Me"... they are both equally important to me...

what do i do in such a case?

say that you're not 5 years old, you're not going to stoop to their level and 'take sides'. stay well away from it and make sure you talk to both, don't avoid either of them. it really is childish.

Reply 13

OP

laurah

say that you're not 5 years old, you're not going to stoop to their level and 'take sides'. stay well away from it and make sure you talk to both, don't avoid either of them. it really is childish.

wish it could be that easy but i also wish that you read the other posts in this thread :frown:

Reply 14

smilee172

i;ve just seen that u said the cops are involved etc etc so i would say avoid both parties! that way u don;t offend one by talking to the other, and it keeps u out of trouble. it's not worth the hassle. just stay out of the whole conflict.

Reply 15

Mercer

10

Do you have any idea on who's actually in the right?

Unless you explain the situation, all people can do is say 'don't choose', which you reject, or 'pick one'.

Incidentally, if the grudge is with these two couldn't you remain friends with both groups, but less so with the two causing all the ruckus. I had a friend turned enemy for a year, and our friends mostly stayed friends with both. Now I'm friends with him again, but he isn't speaking to another of our friends, and I'm staying friends with both. If you're forced to make a decision, decide who's right, or go against whoever forces you to choose.

Reply 16

OP

ok i'll explain the situation

lets call my friends X and Y

basically X got sick because he suspected Y was cheating on his girlfrined, who a friend of X's... but Y wasnt actually cheating.... those were just rumours made up by a girl who wanted Y and his gf to break up ... Y has tried to explain that to X, but X wont believe, and he says he has evidence: he asked the other girls who were involved, and they said that yes 'Y has had sex with us' .... but these three girls are known to be real sluts of our school and they would basically do anything for attention..

Now what happened was that Y, getting frustrated out of all this, hit one of X's friends. He hit him such that his tooth knocked out.. but later he said sorry and agreed to pay half the medical bill for replacing the tooth... but now when Y left on his holiday, X and his friends started plotting to get revenge on Y for both the hitting and the cheating... They joined the local street gang, and are now gangsters. So they have been threatening Y about all this, and saying that he has to pay extra money to the gang to fix everything up, only then everyone will be happy

Now Y is really worried... he has been seeking my help in finding out what X is really upto... Me, out of a concern of a friend, gave him some necessary information... When Y came, he immediately contacted the school and the police about threats from X. Now this is where the story has got to. The police case has just happened today. Now I'm stuck between these two friends and I dunno what to do :frown:

please help... they're both important to me :frown:

Reply 17

Sazarina88