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Guilty
I'm feeling pretty awful at the moment and just wanted a few outsiders take on my situation, its a long story so sorry for the waffle in advance!
Last year my sister (age 31) started getting friendly with a lad (26) and they use to text and ring each other quite a lot. She wouldn't start a relationship with him because of the age gap and the fact he didn't want to settle down with a family straight away (understandable IMO-they had only just met) and because he smokes weed) He asked her out numerous times but she wouldn't even tell him where she lived, despite this they continued to speak to each other a lot and they got quite close.
After a while though he told her he couldn't carry on putting so much into a relationship if she wasn't interested so they stopped ringing each other. She would text him and pick arguments with him so despite wanting to stay friends in the end they pretty much lost contact. She has dated quite a few people since this.
The thing is, after they stopped being so close she got a knee injury and had to stop climbing with me for a while so I use to go on my own so one day she offered to give me his number so we could climb together. At first thats all we did, I got on with him really well but it was nice to go out with a guy just as mates, we stayed mates and went out climbing more and more, but my sister had been getting quite annoyed at the fact we climbed together- despite having instigated it and still being unable to climb she said i'd abandoned her. I ignored this as I had no idea why she was being like that- it seemed quite unreasonable. As we saw more of each other though, I started to realise that I really liked him but decided not to say anything- I'm v.shy
Then last week he told me that he's also recently started having feelings for me too. I told my sister straight away- I wanted to be honest with her and thought it would be easier in the long run. But apparantly she was really upset and angry as she still loved him and couldn't believe I'd done it.
I was really sad that I had upset her and told the lad that we couldn't climb together any more, but accidently sent this msg to my sister (obviously I would have rang him later but text was best for now as he was at work)so she said I didn't have to do that- if he made me happy to stay with him. So i did and last night we went out for our first date, I had a fantastic time and haven't felt this way about anyone before (otherwise I'd have gladly ended things with him). But my sister is still upset I know she is and I don't know what to do, I really really like the guy but I don't want to carry on upsetting her. Am I out of order??? Part of me thinks she had her chance with him and didn't want it so its case of I don't want him but no one else can have him but the other part thinks I really shouldn't carry on upsetting her.
Last year my sister (age 31) started getting friendly with a lad (26) and they use to text and ring each other quite a lot. She wouldn't start a relationship with him because of the age gap and the fact he didn't want to settle down with a family straight away (understandable IMO-they had only just met) and because he smokes weed) He asked her out numerous times but she wouldn't even tell him where she lived, despite this they continued to speak to each other a lot and they got quite close.
After a while though he told her he couldn't carry on putting so much into a relationship if she wasn't interested so they stopped ringing each other. She would text him and pick arguments with him so despite wanting to stay friends in the end they pretty much lost contact. She has dated quite a few people since this.
The thing is, after they stopped being so close she got a knee injury and had to stop climbing with me for a while so I use to go on my own so one day she offered to give me his number so we could climb together. At first thats all we did, I got on with him really well but it was nice to go out with a guy just as mates, we stayed mates and went out climbing more and more, but my sister had been getting quite annoyed at the fact we climbed together- despite having instigated it and still being unable to climb she said i'd abandoned her. I ignored this as I had no idea why she was being like that- it seemed quite unreasonable. As we saw more of each other though, I started to realise that I really liked him but decided not to say anything- I'm v.shy
Then last week he told me that he's also recently started having feelings for me too. I told my sister straight away- I wanted to be honest with her and thought it would be easier in the long run. But apparantly she was really upset and angry as she still loved him and couldn't believe I'd done it.
I was really sad that I had upset her and told the lad that we couldn't climb together any more, but accidently sent this msg to my sister (obviously I would have rang him later but text was best for now as he was at work)so she said I didn't have to do that- if he made me happy to stay with him. So i did and last night we went out for our first date, I had a fantastic time and haven't felt this way about anyone before (otherwise I'd have gladly ended things with him). But my sister is still upset I know she is and I don't know what to do, I really really like the guy but I don't want to carry on upsetting her. Am I out of order??? Part of me thinks she had her chance with him and didn't want it so its case of I don't want him but no one else can have him but the other part thinks I really shouldn't carry on upsetting her.
there are THREE of you and SOME people may find that rather exciting
ooh who gets it?
ooh who gets it?
billbonesknowswhatimean
there are THREE of you and SOME people may find that rather exciting
ooh who gets it?
ooh who gets it?
my sis is a bit of a prude 
Why should you feel guilty? She had her chance - she chose not to have him. You've been honest with her and she was the one who told you it's ok. So go for it. Cus ultimately, if she's a sister to you at all, she should eventually realise you two are happy together and if she truly cared for either one of you, she'd want you two to be happy. Unless her reasons for not wanting you with him is that she knows he's not actually a nice guy or you two aren't right for each other, I say date the guy. You shouldn't feel guilty. Your sister's feelings are for her to sort out.
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