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Taking names after marriage

I came across an article on bbc.co.uk about a guy who took his wife's name when they got married. It set me thinking.

Tradition usually dictates that the female takes the male's name when marriage occurs. There has been a move in recent years for women to keep their own names at marriage. (Or if they choose to get married, to reference one Simpsons episode.)

There's also the option of a double-barrelled name, but I'm wondering how you fellow TSR peeps will see the whole thing. There are issues related to feminism with how it is usually the woman who takes the man's last name. And there are the practical and social issues of deviating from the standard way of doing things.

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Reply 1

dogtanian

I HATE double barrelled names like that. So I wouldn't do that.

To be honest, I don't know what I'd do if I married. I have a very rare surname and like it a lot, but at the same time, it's not what makes me. I don't really see the problem with taking his name. That isn't something I need to think about yet.

It is a bit odd that I feel like that, because I do use Ms a lot because I don't like the whole Miss/Mrs thing much. But at the end of the day it's personal choice. I think what the man in the article did is lovely.

Reply 2

Happy_Rocker

I love my surname also and dont plan on ever changing it...he can have mine :biggrin:

Reply 3

shady lane

We have family friends who combined their last names, so they both changed their names. I think it was nice :smile:

PS I'm keeping my last name, which is hyphenated, because I like it. It's not hyphenated due to marriage though, that's my family name...

Reply 4

ciara

It's a tricky one. Double barrelled surnames are something I don't really like and they aren't practical anyway - if everyone did that then after a few generations people would have ridiculously long names! However, women shouldn't be obligated to take the man's name. Hopefully if you're doing something like getting married you will be able to talk about the issue and resolve it sensibly. Maybe sometimes the man could take the woman's name? Personally, I have a fairly boring conventional name which I'm not fussed about keeping. On the other hand, if my future husband had a stupid name then I wouldn't take that just for the sake of tradition. It's only a name I suppose, but still would annoy me if I had to take my husband's name just because it's tradition.

Reply 5

bunthulhu

As long as my husband's last name wasn't something vile then I wouldn't mind taking it, I think it's quite romantic :smile:

Reply 6

shady lane

bunthulhu

As long as my husband's last name wasn't something vile then I wouldn't mind taking it, I think it's quite romantic :smile:

I guess I just don't like the idea of "belonging" to his family by taking his name. I love my family and am proud of my last name, so I don't want to change it.

Reply 7

bunthulhu

shady lane

I guess I just don't like the idea of "belonging" to his family by taking his name. I love my family and am proud of my last name, so I don't want to change it.

Hmm that's fair enough, I've never been very family orientated really :smile:

Reply 8

Laika

I'd be cool with my wife keeping her own name but it would create problems with the kid's names.

Reply 9

Strauss

There's nothing wrong with double-barelling unless it's Smith-Jones-Smythe - some sound fun, even if they're hard for a six-year-old to spell. Twisleton-Whykham-Fiennes springs to mind...

Men taking their wive's surnames is not new; lots of them did it in the 18th and 19th centuries if their wife was an heiress. It was often a condition of getting all her family dosh. Very practical.

If a girl is proud of her name then I think she should keep it. Glad I won't have to decide!

Reply 10

blissy

My brother changed his name to his wife's :smile:

I'd be happy to change my surname, but don't fancy being a Mrs. Imagine, you'd have the same name as your mother-in-law.

Reply 11

Anthonyjm71

Best to do what makes you both happy with the name that you choose.

Reply 12

I hate my surname, not as bad as a friend of a friend, Heather Dick though :smile:

Reply 13

Strauss

Try poor Will Zwemke - at school we all called him Will's Winky. Poor thing.

Reply 14

frost105

I've changed my surname already so not too keen to change it again but I will change it next year when I get married as I wont feel 'married' really if we dont have the same surname. Its not so much me becoming a part of his family but creating our own.
I agree with others on double barreling its just ugh!

Reply 15

supertramp

I like my last name a lot so I'd want to keep it. That said, marrying a man: never going to happen.

I think it depends on the surnames. I'm not a fan of double-barrelled names though.

Reply 16

prettyblueeyes

I think double barrelling is often a bit pretentious to be honest! My surname is unusual-ish (coffey) and there's only one other boy in extended family who'd 'carry on the name', but at the same time i don't really like it either. depending on my husband to be's surname, i'd probably take his name, unless it really was awful and didn't go. i dont particularly like the idea of merging the two surnames to create a new one, but again that depends on the names, the merged name might be nice! i've always wanted the surname carmichael, so it'd be great if my soulmate was Mr x Carmichael!!
x

Reply 17

Solid_L

I think double barrelled names aren't too bad to be honest. I wouldn't mind either way if my wife took my last name or not.

Reply 18

Strauss

Why does nobody like double-barrels? They're not THAT pretentious are they? If the people get it right I think they are nice-sounding and make people remember your name because it's unusual. Like people with unusual (but easy to spell) christian names.

Reply 19

khil

Don't see why I shouldn't take the guy's name - my children will take his name so it'd be weird if I didn't. I might consider a double-barelled name except my surname is Ng and pronounced Nmm :rolleyes: