When women say they adore celebrity men and have very high standards Watch

DurhamXI
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#1
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Do any of you guys actually take this seriously?

Even if they are very attractive girls, you often then see that in reality their boyfriends look like unaesthetic men compared to the likes of Tatum, Diesel and whoever else they are fawning over. Even then, a lot of men they obsess over are not even that facially aesthetic, they are just very famous and pre-selected by other women.

Makes you think, is it all just a self-defensive mechanism or something?
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aspirinpharmacist
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Nine times out of ten we like the characters they play, not the celebrity themselves, including the 'character' they present to the public in interviews and on chat shows. And no, none of the guys I've liked in real life have looked like celebrities, but often some of the celebrities people like aren't especially good looking either. Not A-listers, as a rule, but the kind of people you might catch on BBC dramas, they're not always conventionally good looking but many of them are still considered attractive to some women. Neither are they 'pre-selected by other women', half the time I see someone in films I kind of fancy and don't mention it to my friends because I know they'll judge me for it. I can't count the number of times I've heard 'Is it bad that I find .... really attractive?'. I've said it a fair few times myself, but people shouldn't be made to feel ashamed about who they're attracted to, unless they're attracted to children, or animals. They're also not always 'really famous', half the time someone will tell me about a random musician or actor they fancy who I've never heard of, and vice versa. In films/TV you build up an attraction to the character. It's the same reason a lot of people who are big readers will admit they've had a kind of crush on a book character at least once in their life, even if there isn't a film of that book.

You might be right about the self-defensive mechanism, my friend has a theory that it's all a subconscious way of trying to avoid commitment. :lol: My friends despair of me and my crushes on actors and the like. Me and my housemate started counting. There's a lot.
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Kaeseia
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The celebrities I "fawn over" aren't viewed as overly (if at all) attractive by most women. :dontknow:
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DurhamXI
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(Original post by aspirinpharmacist)
Nine times out of ten we like the characters they play, not the celebrity themselves, including the 'character' they present to the public in interviews and on chat shows. And no, none of the guys I've liked in real life have looked like celebrities, but often some of the celebrities people like aren't especially good looking either. Not A-listers, as a rule, but the kind of people you might catch on BBC dramas, they're not always conventionally good looking but many of them are still considered attractive to some women. Neither are they 'pre-selected by other women', half the time I see someone in films I kind of fancy and don't mention it to my friends because I know they'll judge me for it. I can't count the number of times I've heard 'Is it bad that I find .... really attractive?'. I've said it a fair few times myself, but people shouldn't be made to feel ashamed about who they're attracted to, unless they're attracted to children, or animals. They're also not always 'really famous', half the time someone will tell me about a random musician or actor they fancy who I've never heard of, and vice versa. In films/TV you build up an attraction to the character. It's the same reason a lot of people who are big readers will admit they've had a kind of crush on a book character at least once in their life, even if there isn't a film of that book.

You might be right about the self-defensive mechanism, my friend has a theory that it's all a subconscious way of trying to avoid commitment. :lol:

Sounds bad, but i never take what women say seriously in terms of these preferences.

Or indeed, if they obviously seem to dislike me. I am a pretty emotionally blank person and think that logically what women say is often different to reality. I don't really understand men who are so sensitive about often *****y females acting disinterested in them/stuck up and saying they prefer so and so a male, basically very high standards. I just rationalise that as fluff talk, (this is diverging from the main point, but...) the real mark of getting anywhere with women imo is respect. And i don't mean sleeping with them. I mean in terms of having healthy human relationships with them. They have to either respect you as a friend/lover/enemy... there has to be respect. Otherwise, imo, the man is not being a real man.

Gotta appreciate that these days women are very much just as 'alpha' as men and they should be treated equally, as if they are men. This includes what they say about the men they prefer, it's like me saying i prefer some female celebrity model... fluff talk.
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aspirinpharmacist
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(Original post by DurhamXI)
Sounds bad, but i never take what women say seriously in terms of these preferences.

Or indeed, if they obviously seem to dislike me. I am a pretty emotionally blank person and think that logically what women say is often different to reality. I don't really understand men who are so sensitive about often *****y females acting disinterested in them/stuck up and saying they prefer so and so a male, basically very high standards. I just rationalise that as fluff talk, (this is diverging from the main point, but...) the real mark of getting anywhere with women imo is respect. And i don't mean sleeping with them. I mean in terms of having healthy human relationships with them. They have to either respect you as a friend/lover/enemy... there has to be respect. Otherwise, imo, the man is not being a real man.

Gotta appreciate that these days women are very much just as 'alpha' as men and they should be treated equally, as if they are men. This includes what they say about the men they prefer, it's like me saying i prefer some female celebrity model... fluff talk.
Nor should you. Who you like on telly is rarely reflected in the person you actually end up with. There has to be respect on both sides in a relationship, it's got nothing to do with fitting into gender roles or 'being a real man', for a relationship to be decent there has to be mutual respect, as far as I'm concerned. I never take someones celebrity crushes that seriously, the same way I don't take my own that seriously. I don't see actors as being part of the 'real world', at least not the one I inhabit. If someone says they prefer X celebrity to you it's essentially them saying they just aren't that into you. Some women though (myself included) might have overly high expectations of what the relationship itself entails, rather than the person, because they imagine it's all rainbows and unicorns like in the films.
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DurhamXI
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(Original post by aspirinpharmacist)
Nor should you. Who you like on telly is rarely reflected in the person you actually end up with. There has to be respect on both sides in a relationship, it's got nothing to do with fitting into gender roles or 'being a real man', for a relationship to be decent there has to be mutual respect, as far as I'm concerned. I never take someones celebrity crushes that seriously, the same way I don't take my own that seriously. I don't see actors as being part of the 'real world', at least not the one I inhabit. If someone says they prefer X celebrity to you it's essentially them saying they just aren't that into you.
Yes, went to an assessment day and part of the exercises involved debating over who to take to a dinner party. Naturally , celebrities came up and it got me thinking about the whole "crush on a random celebrity" phenomenon that people have (i.e. they assume things about a persona that is acted).
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aspirinpharmacist
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(Original post by DurhamXI)
Yes, went to an assessment day and part of the exercises involved debating over who to take to a dinner party. Naturally , celebrities came up and it got me thinking about the whole "crush on a random celebrity" phenomenon that people have (i.e. they assume things about a persona that is acted).
Fancying celebrities is a totally normal thing to do (although it's fine if people don't), but it's more about this theoretical world, most people are aware that while they're talking about these people, they're not really like the person they're portrayed to be. But that doesn't mean it isn't great fun talking about it. In some bizarre way I think people use celebrity crushes like an imaginary card game, playing off their preferred celebrities against each other, arguing about 'who gets who' without actually knowing what it would mean to 'get them'. It's quite dehumanising, if you think about it, it's part of the problem of celebrity culture. They're all just ordinary people, but we like playing around with the personality they present to us on screen or over the radio. No matter how many articles you read about the colour of Benedict Cumberbatch's socks, you don't actually know him, it's not the same thing. I think celebrity crushes can go too far, but mostly they're harmless.
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