Can you mark my Conflict poetry answer?

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emilyryan
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Compare how poets present the effects of war in ‘Mametz Wood’ and one other poem
Both Mametz Wood and Belfast Confetti present the effects of war in different ways.
Mametz Wood shows the effects of a past war and generalises it to a group of soldiers rather than an individual. Sheers gets across the effect the war had through his use of a historical semantic field, this includes the lines “China plate of a shoulder…the blown broken bird’s egg of a skull” showing the devastating effects that we can still see on the bodies of the men showing the everlasting pain for the young men and their families. The use of the noun ‘china’ connotes an idea of delicacy which applies to the bodies of the men who were possibly untrained, very weak and were thrown into a war expected to fight despite these drawbacks. Perhaps china could also be used to act as a metaphor for the easily broken lives of the men which had an effect on not only themselves but also their families who didn’t expect something so devastating to happen. The effect of war is carried on in through the verb ‘blown’ this infers the traumatic idea that a baby bird had died before even being given the chance to live which links to the young men who had given up their lives in this unforgiving battle. ‘Blown’ could also show imagery of a bomb which gives us an idea of the effects of men whilst in the war due to the sheer brutality of it.

In comparison Belfast Confetti is a present war and is referring to the effects on a particular civilian. Similarly to Mametz wood there is a semantic field however it is of punctuation and is metaphorical for the weapons used during the war. This is most explicitly shown when Carson writes “suddenly…it was raining exclamation marks” firstly, the use the adverb ‘suddenly’ is used structurally to create a fast pace which shows the effects of war as you’re straight away thrown into the quick pace of it and have no control. Perhaps it is also used to start the poem as unsettled showing the effects on the feelings of ordinary people, Carson most likely used this so the reader is able to feel the same way as the narrator in the story feels and is able to understand their journey on a deeper level. In addition, the use of ‘exclamation’ connotes ideas of emphasis and power, this perhaps used to show the narrators lack of power in comparison to the army’s high amount of power. If you’re a civilian in the situation the war will affect your ordinary life greatly and there is nothing you can do about it – you just have to live with it. Perhaps it’s also used to create imagery of bomb debris; this shows the effect of war as out of no wear a bomb dropped which we can infer would have a devastating effect on any person that was in a small proximity of it. It shows how war can kill and ruin landscapes as well as lives.

Mametz Wood also displays the effects of war through the use of personification as Sheers writes “slipped from their absent tongues” the use of the verb slipped connotes the idea of a situation being uncontrollable. This helps us suggest the devastating mental effect war must have had on the soldiers as they weren’t aware of how long the war would last and once they were in it there was nothing they could do to stop it. This aids us in understanding the soldier’s feelings as they probably felt incredibly confused and anxious about the future.

Belfast Confetti also portrays the feelings of confusion during the war however, it is clearly from the eyes of a civilian and it uses a rhetorical question to do so. This is through the line “where am I coming from?” this section of the poem puts across the idea of an interrogation. However, as he repeats the questions in his head rather than answering them we can infer his confusion of the situation. This links with the idea of ‘labyrinth’ which is described earlier in the stanza, a labyrinth is a maze in Greek mythology possibly he is lost physically due to the dozens of dead bodies covering his path, or perhaps – in reference to my earlier point, he is lost emotionally because of the confusion and loneliness he is feeling he can’t process the streets that he knows ‘so well’ into his head.

The structures in the poems are fairly contrasting, Mametz Wood has a very uniform, organised structure, perhaps Sheers did this to mimic the action of marching in order to infer a stronger sense of war. He uses caesuras to control the pace of the poem, as well as full stops at the end of each stanza making you pause to process and understand what you have read before carrying on, it shows the effects of war as it creates a serious tone and makes you realise the danger and destruction of it. Alternatively, Belfast Confetti has a messy structure, perhaps this is showing the effects a bomb has as there are words almost scattered around the page as if something has broke them apart. It could also be to show the effects the war had on the narrator as it is everything that’s in his thought process, the breaks in the line could show him being ‘jumpy’ as there is bombs going off all around him. Enjambment could be used to show his lack of control over the situation as well as to create a fast pace just like the war going on around him.
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Angelo12231
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its very long... i don't think can do that in 45 mins...
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emilyryan
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(Original post by Angelo12231)
its very long... i don't think can do that in 45 mins...
Of course I couldn't write ALL of that in 45 minutes, I'd have the same content just cut down slightly. My point is that I want to know if the structure and the things I talk about are what the examiners are looking for when they're marking.
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Angelo12231
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(Original post by emilyryan)
Of course I couldn't write ALL of that in 45 minutes, I'd have the same content just cut down slightly. My point is that I want to know if the structure and the things I talk about are what the examiners are looking for when they're marking.
now lets see... When you start, don't give the link already... DO NOT SAY THIS: both poems have... NO. Instead state your first poem and say your point about the poem. If you are analysing language then use only one word, dont start analysing 3 different words in the same paragraph as you have been doing above. Give the authors intention also. Then when u analyse, you can now give your link... Similairly/ conversely in this poem... Then do the same for the second poem but this time, keep referring to what the first poem shows as u are analysing as this really strongly ties your comparisons together tightly. End the comparative paragraph by achnowledging the comparisons made to tie everything together. remember be insightful.

For this i would give you bout 28/36 which is an A. do what i said and you should get about 34,35,36/36
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emilyryan
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For this i would give you bout 28/36 which is an A. do what i said and you should get about 34,35,36/36[/QUOTE]

Right, I'll make some corrections..thank you.
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