The Student Room Group

Worried Friend

Basicly, one of my closest friends which i've known for donkey years has suddenly want to become "thin". Its actually been a few months now that she has this obsession to become really skinny. And now she has lost a lot of weight thats shes a size 6 and has been going on a lot of pro-anorexia sites. She now does a "2468 diet" where she'll only eat 200 calcs one day, fast the next, 400 calcs the next day, fast again, 600 calcs day after that, fast...etc. Shes even shown me a little book shes made where shes put loads of pictures of skinny women like Nicole Richie and tips on how to get skinny like drinking loads of lemon juice which really scared me :s:

I've spoken to her about this and told her that she's going to get ill..etc i practicly shouted at her :redface: but she doesn't listen, shes got this crave to become really skinny. Me and my friends have become worried now that we don't know what to do anymore.
So ay tips welcome!
Many thanks in advance,
SC :smile:
i guess keep trying but trouble is shes just gonna shut you out more, but you need to stress its not healthy and shes gonna have heart failure if she ain't careful, maybe even suggest her getting help.
Lock her in a room and force feed her. After a few weeks it just becomes a habit, after a few months, it's like she's part of the family :biggrin:
Carl1982
i guess keep trying but trouble is shes just gonna shut you out more, but you need to stress its not healthy and shes gonna have heart failure if she ain't careful, maybe even suggest her getting help.


Already have, i've told her to get an appointment with her GP. She agreed with me when i said that, but became less motivated to see her doctors cos shes moved house so shes not registered to any doctors yet :hmpf:

freshestkid
Lock her in a room and force feed her. After a few weeks it just becomes a habit, after a few months, it's like she's part of the family :biggrin:


Lol, shes already like part of the family :p: Whenever we go out, i always try to help her add more food to her plate but she just ends up eating half of it or only bits of it.
Hmm, foiled....
maybe spell it out to her what shes doing to her body
hmmm.. difficult situation. sometimes the hardest thing is to try and help people who don't want to be helped. In the end, all you can do is be there for her - reassure her that you'll always be around and that what matters to you is the person she is, not what size she is. Have you ever thought that maybe by making an issue of her eating (e.g. making sure she eats when you go out etc) is just making it more of a problem? Maybe, and I don't mean to be harsh, only put across another view, in some way she likes the attention that she gets from not eating, and that by commenting on it, that you're fuelling her whole obsession? Of course, I don't know your friend, or you at all, but I do know people who think like this. Perhaps the best thing to do is not to comment on what she is doing - talk of other things. She'll only stop when she wants to, and the harsh truth is that no-one else can make her, no matter how bad it gets.
Mylla
hmmm.. difficult situation. sometimes the hardest thing is to try and help people who don't want to be helped. In the end, all you can do is be there for her - reassure her that you'll always be around and that what matters to you is the person she is, not what size she is. Have you ever thought that maybe by making an issue of her eating (e.g. making sure she eats when you go out etc) is just making it more of a problem? Maybe, and I don't mean to be harsh, only put across another view, in some way she likes the attention that she gets from not eating, and that by commenting on it, that you're fuelling her whole obsession? Of course, I don't know your friend, or you at all, but I do know people who think like this. Perhaps the best thing to do is not to comment on what she is doing - talk of other things. She'll only stop when she wants to, and the harsh truth is that no-one else can make her, no matter how bad it gets.


Thats actually very true :p: Before when she was younger in her early teens, she used to be really skinny and a lot of people would give loads of attention to her because of her weight. But she then gained some weight, but shes not fat at all, she just went from a size 6 to size 10. And now that she doesn't recieve as much as the attention as before shes starting to loose weight making others round her give more attention.
I explained to her the situation of loosing so much weight in just a short amount of time but she doesn't care. I guess i can't do anything now and i've already told her that she can only help herself.
I guess so - it's sad watching people do things like that to themselves though, isn't it? you seem pretty grounded, so I'm sure you'll be a good friend to have around when she starts to think about what she's doing to herself;
This is a really difficult situation for you.

I would perhaps go for shock tactics and show her maybe stories of people who have lots of health problems or have even died from anorexia. I am not saying that your friend has anorexia but it sounds as though she is exhibiting that kind of behaviour. I know that you may have told her the harm that she can do to her body but maybe hearing it from others, she may take more notice.
Mylla
I guess so - it's sad watching people do things like that to themselves though, isn't it? you seem pretty grounded, so I'm sure you'll be a good friend to have around when she starts to think about what she's doing to herself;


Yeah :frown: but thanks for all the advice :smile: very much appreciated :hugs:
friendsfreak88
This is a really difficult situation for you.

I would perhaps go for shock tactics and show her maybe stories of people who have lots of health problems or have even died from anorexia. I am not saying that your friend has anorexia but it sounds as though she is exhibiting that kind of behaviour. I know that you may have told her the harm that she can do to her body but maybe hearing it from others, she may take more notice.


Hmmm.. might try that :smile: I told her that Nikki from bigbrother (she loves how skinny she is) has holes on the sides of her stomach where food was being put into her body when she became anorexic. But it didn't shock her that much, she just didn't believe it.
Reply 12
I'm not a professional by any means but I did suffer from an eating disorder about 2 years ago and I lost around 3 stone in around 3 months, but I am now fully recovered. I hated it when people shouted at me or confronted me because it made me really panicky. Also, dont force your friend to talk about it if she doesn't want to as you will only make her feel uncomfortable and it will make her push you away. I hate to sound pessimistic but the only way someone can recover from an eating disorder is when they are ready to. For some people this can be a matter of months or years, and for others this time never comes, which is why eating disorders are so deadly. Don't pressurise your friend at all. Just let her know that you will always be there for her no matter what and when she is ready to recover she will come to you. Then the best thing you can do is offer to go with her to the doctors and to her first counselling session (this is what the doctor will reccommend) as she will probably be very nervous. You also need to make sure that she is entirely honest with the doctor about what she does/doesn't eat. Once she is on the path to recovery, you can keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn't relapse or resort to other self-destructive methods such as bulimia and self-harm. In the mean time though I'm afraid the only thing you can do is research the disorder as much as possible so that you can try an fully understand your friend. www.somethingfishy.org.uk has some good info on it. Also, make sure that you have someone that you can talk to about it, as it is a stressful time for you too. Helplines are usually good, and they are anonymous. Hope this has been helpful.
Reply 13
^^ Agreed. My friend did the same thing- we were so worried, but she just didnt care, so in the end we had to let her get on with it. She ended up sorting it out by herself. I think thats the best way.
Thanks for the advise!!! :smile: Will be there for her and hopefully she recovers and realises herself :smile:
Reply 15
Obviously, she's an idiot.

In the fullness of time, with any luck, she'll realise her own mistake.
Reply 16
speaking from experience [a good friend of mine was anorexic when we were 14] all you can do is show that you're there for her. if you try too hard with forcing food on her etc then you'll only push her away. i really feel for you as i know how hard it is for the best friend, but they only way you can help her is by letting her admit she has a problem in her own time. it's only when she accepts it for herself that she can get help. i hope it all works out ok.
friendsfreak88
This is a really difficult situation for you.

I would perhaps go for shock tactics and show her maybe stories of people who have lots of health problems or have even died from anorexia. I am not saying that your friend has anorexia but it sounds as though she is exhibiting that kind of behaviour. I know that you may have told her the harm that she can do to her body but maybe hearing it from others, she may take more notice.


I know it is a difficult thing to help with because once her mind is set on being a certain way it will be dificult to change it..but like this person said, you should try scare tactics, show her pictres of what it can do to her body, and tell her it could permanently damage her insides..If her body doesn't get the right nutritions she will end up being tired and collapse all the time, i thing once the effects hit her she will be more willing to seek help?