Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

I don't have that many friends

I'm in my third term at Reading university and one thing that's really been bothering me is that I just don't have that many friends. I have a few pretty close friends and I have housemates to live with next year who I like but I don't have a big friendship group to hang out with.

I can't help compare myself to the people around my and my friends at other universities who all have big friendship groups and know loads of people, they all go out together or do things during the day together and have an equal mix of boys and girls and I just don't...

Don't get me wrong I love my two closest friends and I do like the people I'm living with in 2nd year but I feel like I'm doing something wrong in not having a big group of friends for pre-drinks/meals out/film nights etc and I'm only really friends with other girls (I'd also thought I'd get a boyfriend at uni and I'm not even friends with any guys let alone getting close to getting a boyfriend).

I guess right now I like my course but I'm not so crazy about uni life itself...

Reply 1

Lawrenc spa

Be happy you got some people next year to live with. Some people wouldn't even have anyone that would want to live with them so there obviously can't be anything wrong with you. Be happy with your current friends. I only got a couple of friends and I don't go to university but I'm satisfied. Go to the student bar with your friends just mix in a little maybe join a club

Reply 2

Stinkum

I'll be your friend.

But seriously though...you don't need friends. You're at university to study for a degree, not to make friends. And it sounds like you have a good group of friends already.

Reply 3

KadeK

What you also need to realise is that looks can, unfortunately, be deceiving. So when you hear people talk about going out with loads of friends or you actually see it, it really doesn't mean that they are all so so close/happy...

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Thank you guys, I guess you're all right - I am lucky to have the friends I've got, that's better than having no friends at all. And I suppose, like you say, you don't really know what other people's friendships are really like. I think for now I'll just concentrate on revising and doing well in my exams and when I come back in second year I'll just have to push myself out there a bit more.

Reply 5

username1332537

My ex has a huge group of friends. I said to him wow so many friends. He goes 'yep, but I only truly trust a couple of them, the rest can be annoying'. Appearances can be deceving. I see nothing wrong with your life :smile:

Reply 6

pnorm

The big group of friends thing can be more of a curse than a blessing in some circumstances. The big group might actually be split into smaller sub groups where those people get on better. The best size group is about 6 - 8 people I've found. At least then no-one can get excluded. If it's 10 + you're more likely to get groups of 3 or 4 in the big group.

But it's nice to know of other people, I was talking about this with a friend the other day and how our group don't really know that many girls. We do Games Technology... 60 guys in our year and I think there's one hot girl on our course who is a final year student... But anyway we know like 1 girl in our close friend group and she knows a lot of other girls which is good but apart from that we know no other (fit) girls which is kinda lame. But what you forget is friends of friends, friends of friends of friends etc. the connections are pretty weak to begin with, just like any random person but if you meet them and befriend them then the connection is made and drops the friend which was the beginning connection.

What I'm missing at Uni so far is the knowing of people factor which I loved from Secondary School through College you just knew everyone but not like a massively close friendship with everyone you just knew their names and said hi and sometimes had a small chat depending how well you knew them. You're probably in the same boat as me and many others. The knowing of people is pretty important to feeling popular and well known which in itself is kind of self explanatory. To be well known you have to be known of by loads of other people.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Thank you so much, you guys are making me feel so much better! I think I just need to keep the friendships I've got now strong and keep on making connections like you say x

Quick Reply

Latest

Articles for you

Seven things you’ll learn at university (that have nothing to do with your degree)

Edexcel A-Level Economics Paper 1 - Unofficial Mark Scheme - 18 May 2023

Volunteering with The Student Room

What are two-year accelerated degrees?

I don't have that many friends

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you