why should anyone marry in this world anymore Watch

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superman663j7
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#1
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This has been bothering me since my parents got devoriced, Why should anyone marry in this world anymore? because if you look at the devorice rate it has gone up. people are getting devoriced for wrong reasons too,just because they aren't "happy" anymore. you marry the person to be with them through thick and thin good times and bad they need to work through their problems, life isn't alway happy. I understand if the person is abusive then they need to get the he11 out of there. but don't leave just beacuse your not happy, or beacuse of money. people are also jumping into marrage to quickly, after being together for a few months they get married because they "love" each other to me thats just puppy love they need to make sure this is the person they want to be with for the rest of their life, not for tempory happiness. well I'd like to hear what ya'all think about this. p.s ecuse the spelling
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randdom
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I think that marrage can probably be the best experiance in the world but I agree that the divorce rate is too high. This doesn't mean that people should stop getting married just that they should be sure the person is right for them. I think it has become way to easy to get a divorce and councilling should be the first option. I will definately wait to be sure before I get married I want one like my gran parents had when they were married for 54 years until my granpa died.
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rIcHrD
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Marriage offers financial benefits and is preferentially rewarded by the state today.
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superman663j7
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(Original post by randdom)
I think that marrage can probably be the best experiance in the world but I agree that the divorce rate is too high. This doesn't mean that people should stop getting married just that they should be sure the person is right for them. I think it has become way to easy to get a divorce and councilling should be the first option. I will definately wait to be sure before I get married I want one like my gran parents had when they were married for 54 years until my granpa died.
I agrre completely with you, thats the type of marriage I want, no one thinks now a days about the vows and how important they are.
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Babygal
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The word 'love' does not exist, its made up, ppl want to love so badly so they 'end up' loving, but does this so called love twist last, hardly ever. My opinion is really based on lifestyle and culture
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Babygal
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(Original post by piginapoke)
Love patently exists, and is not made up at all. Its within us all; how else would our species have propagated without a strong instinct to form bonds with others, which enables offspring to be raised in the safety of the family environment?
As i said, it depends on the person, an i usually associate this with culture and environment
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Fleffzilla
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My parents got married not long after meeting... They're still together now, after about 20 years, so I don't think it has anything to do with how long someone has known the other person... I don't think it's a conscious decision to fall in love either, I know a few people who aren't happy loving someone, because the other person doesn't feel the same way, and if they had their choice, they wouldn't be in love anymore. Love is different for everyone. I think it depends on personality more than anything.
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yawn1
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(Original post by superman663j7)
This has been bothering me since my parents got devoriced, Why should anyone marry in this world anymore? because if you look at the devorice rate it has gone up. people are getting devoriced for wrong reasons too,just because they aren't "happy" anymore. you marry the person to be with them through thick and thin good times and bad they need to work through their problems, life isn't alway happy. I understand if the person is abusive then they need to get the he11 out of there. but don't leave just beacuse your not happy, or beacuse of money. people are also jumping into marrage to quickly, after being together for a few months they get married because they "love" each other to me thats just puppy love they need to make sure this is the person they want to be with for the rest of their life, not for tempory happiness. well I'd like to hear what ya'all think about this. p.s ecuse the spelling
I am so sorry that your parents got divorced. That must be very painful for you and 'rocked your security'.

I agree that people do not take their marriages seriously enough. They make vows to stay together for 'richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, and forsake all others until death do they part. These vows are often quickly forgotten or were not made in all seriousness at the time.

Marriage must not be easy. There must be times when it is hard to remember why you love this person who makes you so angry. It must also be hard to compromise and accept that it is sometimes the stronger person who can say sorry.

However, to remain married, it takes a commitment from both sides to work at the marriage - if one partner does not want to stay in the marriage what can you do?

The break-ups we witness, as the victims, should make us determined that our future marriage will succeed. We should never expect our partners to be perfect as we ourselves can never be. We should be prepared to forgive and work together to ensure that our childrens lives should be as happy and secure as possible and instil in them, self-worth. By doing these things, we should be able to live in a long, happy and successful marriage. I hope!!
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Jonatan
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(Original post by superman663j7)
This has been bothering me since my parents got devoriced, Why should anyone marry in this world anymore? because if you look at the devorice rate it has gone up. people are getting devoriced for wrong reasons too,just because they aren't "happy" anymore. you marry the person to be with them through thick and thin good times and bad they need to work through their problems, life isn't alway happy. I understand if the person is abusive then they need to get the he11 out of there. but don't leave just beacuse your not happy, or beacuse of money. people are also jumping into marrage to quickly, after being together for a few months they get married because they "love" each other to me thats just puppy love they need to make sure this is the person they want to be with for the rest of their life, not for tempory happiness. well I'd like to hear what ya'all think about this. p.s ecuse the spelling
Why not just let the people who jump into marriage do so. I know I would not.

When it comes to children things are a little bit more complicated. I really think people should not get chidlren unless they really know they want them and that they will stick together raising them. It happens of course that parents do separate, but some just do not think about how it will affect the kids. It really pisses me off when parents are trying to have some competition as to who the kids will like the most. I cant beleive people could be so selfish. If you cant stand your previous partner (In which case you really has marrioed to soon) then at least have the decency not to let it affect your relationship with the child. Divorce is painful enough for the kids as it is, theres no reason to make it even worse by putting them in a situation where they have to be exposed to some sort of battle between their parents.
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shilling
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When talking about rising divorce rates, and so on, you always hear the usual "people have much too high expectations when entering into marriage nowadays" and "people today are just aren't willing to compromise" or "people don't put as much effort into their marriages as they used to" etc. But one thing (which I either read somewhere, or maybe a teacher pointed it out) is that the average life expectancy has increased enormously in the last decades/century/centuries (?...whichever) and that therefore, when people in their twenties bind themselves to each other "untill death do us part", they're looking at about 60ish years, as opposed to about 30ish - that's twice as long! (yes, my mathematical skills are impressive, I know)...so, looking at the issue from this perspective, increased divorce rates, are perhaps a little more understandable (even if that doesn't make us like the idea any better).
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Jonatan
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(Original post by shilling)
When talking about rising divorce rates, and so on, you always hear the usual "people have much too high expectations when entering into marriage nowadays" and "people today are just aren't willing to compromise" or "people don't put as much effort into their marriages as they used to" etc. But one thing (which I either read somewhere, or maybe a teacher pointed it out) is that the average life expectancy has increased enormously in the last decades/century/centuries (?...whichever) and that therefore, when people in their twenties bind themselves to each other "untill death do us part", they're looking at about 60ish years, as opposed to about 30ish - that's twice as long! (yes, my mathematical skills are impressive, I know)...so, looking at the issue from this perspective, increased divorce rates, are perhaps a little more understandable (even if that doesn't make us like the idea any better).
Also, it was much more difficult to divorce previously, even if you wanted to. It was not as socially accepted. Thus people may have just stayed in marriage because they were afraid of getting a divorce. I dont think its a good thing if someone stay in marriage just because they are afraid to leave. I think it is better if people divorce than living the rest of their life in missery. Of course, as soon as children come into play, it is far more complicated.
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ThornsnRoses
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im only getting married to wear a wedding dress...
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Aeris
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(Original post by ThornsnRoses)
im only getting married to wear a wedding dress...

Oh how terrible....but, seriously, isn't that the most EXCITING part!? Well next to walking on rose petals... Oh! I hope I get to wear a tiara!
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ThornsnRoses
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(Original post by ArisGreenleaf)
Oh how terrible....but, seriously, isn't that the most EXCITING part!? Well next to walking on rose petals... Oh! I hope I get to wear a tiara!
seriously witnessing my parents' marriage...no one would want to get married! Any marriage is just a piece of paper...i bet the preparations leading up the wedding is actually better than the wedding itself...i guess the novelty has worn off by wedding day!
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markie
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(Original post by superman663j7)
This has been bothering me since my parents got devoriced, Why should anyone marry in this world anymore? because if you look at the devorice rate it has gone up. people are getting devoriced for wrong reasons too,just because they aren't "happy" anymore. you marry the person to be with them through thick and thin good times and bad they need to work through their problems, life isn't alway happy. I understand if the person is abusive then they need to get the he11 out of there. but don't leave just beacuse your not happy, or beacuse of money. people are also jumping into marrage to quickly, after being together for a few months they get married because they "love" each other to me thats just puppy love they need to make sure this is the person they want to be with for the rest of their life, not for tempory happiness. well I'd like to hear what ya'all think about this. p.s ecuse the spelling
I think more people divorce now than before simply because the society we live in does not demand that you stay together even if you are unhappy as it once did.
Divorce was seriously frowned upon, a social stigma where as now it is part of everyday life. I would bet most people have several friends whose parents have split up.
I dont believe that there was a higher ratio of happy to unhappy couples then than there is now or that people lived to a higher moral code but that more people stayed together then because of the fear of the alternative.
There is also the question of religion. Marriage is traditionally a fundamentally religious ceremony but a high proportion of people who do marry today do not do so for religious reasons but more for tradition, this also removes a lot of the guilt once felt by people who wanted to break the vows they made before god.
I think it depends a lot on your personal experiences and religious upbringing whether you think this is a good or bad thing. Many people think couples dont try hard enough to stay together these days and in a lot of cases that is true but in many others it is not. For some there is no other option and it can be devastating especially when children are involved.
Finding the "right person" for your partner is the one thing everyone wants to get right, but there are no guarentees for happiness.
Im sure your parents love you as much now as they did before they split. Talk to them about the things that bother you.

As for your own relationships my advice would be follow your heart and you can do no more.You know as much about love as the rest of us.
And yes it does exist.
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Aeris
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Well...actually I do believe in love at first sight. I think my "partner" is going to be my best friend. Although he can't stick around me for too long because that would just annoy me. I've been single all my life, so it would be no problem for me to stay faithful to one person. I think a lot of people get married thinking that it's going to be like a fairy tale (Oh! I want all of my bridesmaids dressed like fairies!)
This reminds me... Why does everyone that's married have to wear a ring?! Maybe that's the kiss of death. My husband's going to wear my LOTR Evenstar necklace forever FOREVER!
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sashh
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Reasons for marriage

If you die your widow/er will inherit without paying tax.

If you are a man you have no legal rights to see your child / have a say in schooling or medical treatment unless you are married to the mother - But you do have to pay child support.

You will pay less for your car insurance.

You get to have a party and everyone brings you gifts.

In the case of a woman, her mother gets to have the wedding she wanted, because her mother planned hers.

You become 'next of kin'. So if the person you love is ill the doctors will talk to you first not their parents or siblings.

Registering any children is easier, you don't both have to be there to include the father's name of the birth certificate.

Yawn 1 not everyone's vows are "to stay together for 'richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, and forsake all others until death do they part". I think that's just some church ceremonies. I've been to weddings in registry offices, churches and a gudawarra (?SP) the vows are different every time.
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superman663j7
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(Original post by markie)
Im sure your parents love you as much now as they did before they split. Talk to them about the things that bother you.

As for your own relationships my advice would be follow your heart and you can do no more.You know as much about love as the rest of us.
And yes it does exist.
as for my parents I don't speek to my dad that often because I can't stand his new wife, and she doesn't like me. but as for my relationships I've learned what not to do, from watching my parents. right now I'm in a relationship with a very great girl and I'm sure at time she'd rather kill me than talk to me but we get through it
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blissy
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<is all excited about getting married>
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superman663j7
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blissy are you engaged now? if so good luck to you. and remember when you get ready to kill them, sit down and think of why you love them so much that you married them to begin with.
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