Could you look over this essay for me?

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Report Thread starter 8 years ago
how to improve?
what would you give it? (24 mark q)
thanks a lot for any help given

How far was the failure of Chartism by 1851 due to improvements in the economy? (24)
Chartism was a movement from 1839 to 1848, (with a brief revival in 1851), which aimed to introduce the People’s Charter to parliament. The reasons behind the failure of Chartism is debated, whilst some historians argue that it was the improvements in the economy leading to less political interest in the working classes, other factors include the internal weaknesses of the movement and the lack of support from the landed classes and parliament.
There is a correlation between support for Chartism and the state of the economy. In bad economic times, when unemployment was greater and therefore poverty was greater, support for Chartism increased. Therefore, it could be seen that an improved economy resulted in less support for Chartism, ultimately leading to its failure in 1851.
However, it can be seen that Chartism had a history of fluctuation in support, and as Chartism did not fail in the economic recovery of the early 1830s, as it did in the boom of the 1840s, it could be argued that it was the lack of support from parliament which caused the failure of Chartism. The greatest example of this is perhaps the 1848 petition, in which the government cracked down harshly on Chartism. Following O’Connor’s rhetoric about the consequences of a further rejection of the charter, the government deemed many elements of the organisation to be revolutionary. The arrest of many of the key leaders when found with military weapons in possession could therefore be seen to be the greatest factor behind the failure of Chartism. This is because the movement was weakened, and many members were undoubtedly disheartened with the rejection of the fourth charter.
Finally, the organisation suffered from poor leadership. They were split between the revolutionaries such as O’Connor, and others such as Lovett who wanted to use peaceful methods to persuade parliament to accept the Charter. Because of this lack of clear direction from the leadership, the public perception of the movement was poor, and therefore received less support than perhaps a clearer leadership could have gained. The violent strains of the movement resulted in the suspension of Habeas Corpus in Ireland in 1848, together with the arrest of many leaders following the disaster at the 1848 petition.
Therefore it can be seen that whilst Chartism received less support as a result of the economic boom of the late 1840s, the subsequent failure of the league came about because of a lack of support from the landed classes and parliament, amplified by poor leadership. Chartism was essentially a working class movement, and therefore did not have enough political influence to effect change.
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Report 8 years ago
Is this the whole essay? doesn't really seem long enough for a 24 mark essay

You don't clearly explore different factors
The paragraphs don't follow the PEE structure
It isn't clear what you are arguing
The analysis is accurate but basic
No quotes from historians
Overall it reads like a chronology of the chartist movement

In terms of a mark it might be worth double figures, can't really say for definite

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