Knocked confidence

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Flamenco dancer
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#1
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#1
My ex-boyfriend dumped me after 18 months saying that although he loved and cared about me he wasn't in love with me so couldn't consider marrying me. (I'm a mature student.) I could take that he fell out of love with me but it sounds like he was never in love with me in the first place.

this has really rocked my confidence as I now wonder if I'm not sexy or stimulating enough to make a guy fall in love. He must at the beginning have liked me as more than a friend otherwise why would you date a girl?

do you have any idea why he couldn't /decided not to fall for me? I want to start dating again soon and don't want this happening again.
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Tom Whaley
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I honestly think you're in the wrong place for this, some strangers online aren't going to know you or him well enough to give you an answer that's worth anything.

That said, just be yourself, you'll find the right person eventually.
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Zarek
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Sorry to hear about this. In my experience people's feeling do change. And it is possible to go from in love to not in love - sometimes in quite a dramatic way. This is incredibly hurtful when it happens to you - I've been there. There can be no guarantees for the future but I do think with experience instinct and resilience increase. Relationships are pleasure and pain - but still worth it and I think we do find our soul mates in the end. Rely on you friends and hobbies and start to look for new love. Good luck.
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kka25
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How old is the guy?
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Flamenco dancer
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Thanks for your thoughts. He's 32.
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kka25
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And you? I thought he was in his early 20s or something.
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Lotus_Eater
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(Original post by Flamenco dancer)
this has really rocked my confidence as I now wonder if I'm not sexy or stimulating enough to make a guy fall in love.
You can't make someone fall in love with you. You just have to be who you are and hope that's enough. But sometimes the people you love aren't always in the same place and it's sad when that happens but your only option is to take some time to be upset and then try again.
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Flamenco dancer
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#8
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(Original post by kka25)
And you? I thought he was in his early 20s or something.
I'm 34. I think we're in different places in life so maybe it's for the best. I just hope the next guy is more honest earlier if his feelings don't develop rather than keeping me hanging.
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kka25
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(Original post by Flamenco dancer)
I'm 34. I think we're in different places in life so maybe it's for the best. I just hope the next guy is more honest earlier if his feelings don't develop rather than keeping me hanging.
I see. I asked because I thought either one of you is in their 20s so I needed to know if that's the case.

(Original post by Flamenco dancer)
My ex-boyfriend dumped me after 18 months saying that although he loved and cared about me he wasn't in love with me so couldn't consider marrying me. (I'm a mature student.) I could take that he fell out of love with me but it sounds like he was never in love with me in the first place.
There are many factors that may be involved; perhaps he just needed a companion for a short term, not for a long term one.

Moving on will be the best for you right now. Hope you're OK.
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semperaslan
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Aww :console: Hugs :hugs: He's just one guy, I'm sure that there are plenty more out there who WILL find you sexy and attractive :yep: He's the one who's missing out, chin up
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