Improving your personality

Im pretty quiet and generally boring. I want to be funny and creative, its kinda awkward when talking to the opposite sex, i get those awkward silence moments quite alot, and its not good because ive never had a gf (18). I want to hold a conversation with someone, be more friendly and CONFIDENT.

Ive heard somewhere that your personality is already decided by the time ur 7 years old and after that u cant change it, but surely ppl can change? I just want to talk better really, i find i run out of things to talk about quickly, even with friends. :frown:

Its getting me down too. Help please :redface:

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

personality is determined by genes and your environment, its true that who you are is who you are. the experiences you have in life will also change the way you see the world. so even if the fact that personality is determined by the age of 7, you have a a lifetime of experiences to go which will ultimitely have an impact on your personality.
i.e if you were bullied and you were a happy person beforehand and now your a withdrawn unhappy person. your personality is changed isnt it?
but if that happens to you, you generally become more stronger and outspoken

that happened to me. as a result i came out a stronger confident person.

im going through exactly the same thing as you!! i can never think of what to say. ive never had a BF before and im 16 i have no idea what to say to the opposite sex. what you can do is practice conversations in your head before you talk to people and think of all the things you can say. thats what i do.

well if you need someone to talk to- P.M me!!

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

so even if the fact your personality is determinded by the age of 7 IS TRUE*

(edit. i made a mistake in a sentence above)

Reply 3

Scienceboi

7

i wouldn't say you can change your personailty, but you can definately become more confident, confidence will make your personality better because more people will know the real you.

Reply 4

Anonymous #3

i need more confidence, any tips? :smile:

Reply 5

dazmanultra

1

Take up some new, interesting hobbies and do interesting things - go travelling on a gap year! Something you might want to read about are books on comedy improvisation. :smile:

Something I've been reading a bit about lately is NLP, or Neuro Linguistic Programming. It looks to be pretty powerful, interesting stuff which can help you in many aspects of your life.

Reply 6

Shakespeare1

11

take little steps. do something generally more outgoing than what you would usually do. like smiling at people. then go on to say hello. and so on.

btw im anon 2. i dont know why i am anonymous....

Reply 7

boho

1

i found getting a job was one of the best things you could do to boost your confidence. if you're working in a restaurant or at a bar etc, then you're forced to talk to people, and eventually, you become a lot more relaxed doing it. one of my friends was so quite and timid and then she started working in this small bar in town, and shes come out of her shell so much, people love her! x

Reply 8

Sithius

16

Personality isn't determined by genes. No wonder you went anon for this as you are talking so much rubbish.

Reply 9

jb_sweden

Sithius

Personality isn't determined by genes. No wonder you went anon for this as you are talking so much rubbish.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?db=pubmed&cmd=Retrieve&dopt=AbstractPlus&list_uids=16534505&query_hl=1&itool=pubmed_docsum

Just one of a million or so articles proving you're wrong.

Though, of course, personality isn't exclusively determined by genes.

Reply 10

jb_sweden

If you're interested in knowing more, use PubMed:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?db=PubMed
Search terms of your interest.

Reply 11

jb_sweden

Still not convinced, try reading a random issue of Nature or Science.
Or Molecular Psychiatry: http://www.nature.com/mp/index.html

Reply 12

Sithius

16

jb_sweden

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?db=pubmed&cmd=Retrieve&dopt=AbstractPlus&list_uids=16534505&query_hl=1&itool=pubmed_docsum

Just one of a million or so articles proving you're wrong.

Though, of course, personality isn't exclusively determined by genes.

Wow, that article must be right. :rolleyes:

Do more research and there will also be ones proving you're wrong.

Reply 13

=Keith=

3

You cannot change ur personality, you can develop it by working on ur weak areas and improving day by day. You can only do this by facing ur fears and then rewarding urself. I agree with boho, getting a job will boost ur confidence and again ur not the only one. There are loads of people who face this everyday. We are still teens and we do have sometime to work on our weak areas... dont worry

Reply 14

Steak Eats You!

1

Don't bother changing your personality. For me anyway, making an effort to change who I was just gave me stress.

Just change your perspective. Depends what type of things you like to do. Like a previous wise poster said, do something outside of your normal experience. Or in my case, read that life philosophy crap :biggrin:

The Book of Life. J. Krishnamurti. Vague, slightly pretentious and in the clouds. But I don't know...I kind of had an epiphany that entirely changed how I looked at the world, the day after I read the first chapter.

If see see the world from the different angle, you might express your personality much better without consciously realizing it. But the most important thing is never, ever try to change your personality itself. You can't.

Reply 15

=Keith=

3

Right said steaks, I agree with u ...

Reply 16

jb_sweden

Sithius

Wow, that article must be right. :rolleyes:

Do more research and there will also be ones proving you're wrong.

The onus of proof is on you.

Reply 17

jb_sweden

In other words, Sithius, I'd like you to produce an article from a well-established scientific paper, such as Nature, Science etc., that claim and proves that no genes affect the personality in a substantial way.