Bad Friend?

Okay, so I'm not sure if this is the right forum but I just want to hear your opinion. Anyway, I knew some people from my old school and I statedthat they were my best friends and that I will never betray them but when I left my old school and came to high school, I realised that I was a bad friend because when I think about it, I knew next to nothing about them and I knew them for 2-6 years!

I don't know their birthdays, all of their fave colours, their fave artist (well,I knew one of them), their sibling's or their parent's name. I don't even know where they're studying right now and yet I said that they were my best friends. I always thought that I was a good friend and yet, I knew next to nothing about them. I know that I'm practically ranting now and I apologise for that, this is really stressing me out and with the exams next week, I really don't need the extra stress.

Anyway, I talk to one of my old friend's about it and she told me that " becoming best friends doesn't rely on how much you know each other but how much you had fun hanging out and all that" but I know that she's just being nice. i really want to make amends and learn about them, learn about things that I should have known as their best friends but I'm an awkward person with a foot-in-mouth disease that has the special talent in making things awkward so I really don't know what to do without sounding creepy and stalker-ish. 😔

i really want to make amends and learn about them but it's just awkward y'know. :frown:

So, ummm, any advice or opinions? Do you guys think that If you don't know anything about your best friend then you're a bad friend or do you guys think it's all about having fun hanging out?

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 1

Muter

Don't worry, you're not the only one making things awkward. Chances are, you are an introverted fellow, overthinking every situation. Friendship isn't about remembering details about others. I don't usually call my best friends for their birthdays, and they don't call me for mine, and yet we are still good friends. There's nothing wrong in asking others for what they like - everybody's best topic of conversation is themselves, whether they'd admit it or not. If your friends think you're not worthy of their friendship because you don't know some details about them, then you're probably not a good match. However, it may be that they also have the same worries as you and they may overreact simply because they are meant to. Don't take it personally, nobody knows what they're doing and everybody's following some role model. Simply discuss your concerns with others.

Reply 2

Firenze26

OP

20

Original post by Muter

Don't worry, you're not the only one making things awkward. Chances are, you are an introverted fellow, overthinking every situation. Friendship isn't about remembering details about others. I don't usually call my best friends for their birthdays, and they don't call me for mine, and yet we are still good friends. There's nothing wrong in asking others for what they like - everybody's best topic of conversation is themselves, whether they'd admit it or not. If your friends think you're not worthy of their friendship because you don't know some details about them, then you're probably not a good match. However, it may be that they also have the same worries as you and they may overreact simply because they are meant to. Don't take it personally, nobody knows what they're doing and everybody's following some role model. Simply discuss your concerns with others.

You may be right and I really want to discuss my concerns but the list of people I could talk to are severely lacking; my parents and my brother (I think) believe that friends are only peers, people you ask for help, nothing more nothing less and they think that my thinking that friends should be a priority is stupid. My friends or acquaintances or just classmates, here are a bit too new for me, I've only known them for almost two years - a max of 4 hours a week, not enough time to be able to tell them something this personal, don't really want to impose y'know. I also can't talk to my old friends since they befriended a different person, they befriended a carefree, optimistic good-two-shoes and I'm different now, really different so they won't be prepared for the conversation. I just don't have anyone to talk to.......

Gods, I sound whiny, sorry. :frown:

Bad Friend?

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