Constant underlying feeling that I'm going to die soon Watch

NonIndigenous
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#81
Report 9 months ago
#81
(Original post by Quilt)
This is probably going to the be the weirdest thing I've ever typed in my whole life and to be honest I'm not 100% sure if it's going to make sense, but for quite a while now I've had this feeling in the back of my mind that I'm going to be somebody who dies at a young age. The feeling becomes stronger whenever I think about the future etc, because something in the back of my mind tells me that it's a fact that I won't live to see all of it.

It's weird, it's not an upsetting feeling because I'm so used to it that it just feels factual. I've looked up a lot of things about people knowing about things before they happen, and obviously it's very superstitious and most probably just chance, but I read these stories about people who have mentioned like they feel like they're going to die and then do and it kind of freaks me out a bit.

I used to struggle with depression a lot but I truly believe I have overcome this now and that this feeling of impending death is nothing related to that, as, like I said before, it's not a negative feeling, more of just something my brain seems to accept whenever I'm thinking deeply.

I always have these little thoughts, when I'm crossing the road or attending a doctors appointment or anything stupid and small like that, and it's just like "maybe it's going to be now... or now... or now".

I just wondered if anyone has ever experienced this before/know anyone else who has? It's very strange to me, not so much worrying as odd.

Thanks in advance
This may sound perverse... but use this feeling to live every day as if it were your last. To live your life to the fullest.

Read "Veronica Decides to Die". It's written by a Brazilian writer.

I'd be interested to know if that... works. I'm sorry if it sounds like I'm joking. I'm not. I don't have much better advice than this. What you've described is pretty unusual and I've never thought about it before.
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Gingerbrexd_grl
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#82
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#82
I feel the same way. I’ve been trying to avoid sleeping, I fear I’ll stop breathing, or I’m having a heart attack. This usually happens once a month. That’s usually when I miss school because I feel like if I stay up the night I won’t die in my sleep, so I stay up until around four, or I see the sun. I get anxiety and usually the nights this happens is when my stomach hurts. I end up making it worse, I end up throwing up, then my dad comes in and says im fine. Usually after that I’m fine. I’ve noticed it started last year when I was 16, and now I’m 17. I feel it’s because I’m always home. I don’t do anything but stay home, so I’m in confinement. I hope you get better. I feel we both will.
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lilscorpio47
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#83
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#83
For about a little less than a year now I've had this underlying gut feeling that I'll be lucky if I even make it to 60. I'm 47 and I have had dreams and random thoughts about me dying within the next 10 yrs. It's a really strong gut feeling. I have always been prone to strong gut feeling and they have always been right. Soooo yeah.
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GivingupFast
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#84
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#84
I have the exact same feeling. And yes I’m severely depressed and very lonely and I know those are likely causing this. But it’s a horrible pattern of bad luck. Actually worse. Two years ago I caught a very rare lung disease, I was on life support a while until they figured it out and in hospital weeks recovering. This disease takes a full year to recover from. And I’ve had nothing but bad almost unbelievable bad luck since. I was let go from my job I had for 20 yrs. lost my pension, benefits etc. Because my immune system is bad I catch everything. I had flu for 12 weeks, I caught shingles on my face and scalp and I’m loosing my hair, I’m having major problem with my cervix and endometriosis. I was supposed to have hysterectomy in 2016 but couldn’t cause of the disease I had. Now my periods are not right I bleed all the time. My short term memory is ****ed (sorry I’m stressed) as a side effect from disease, I have no family but my son who is amazing and like one friend because everyone stays away cause they worry I might ask for money or support somehow. I finally went and applied for social assistance and looking for work but at my ag (46) no one wants. I’m scared if I even got a Jon I wouldn’t know what to doI go to bed with Valium and sleeping bills because I can’t fall asleep and when I wake up I’m scared, feel sick and it takes hours for me to even care. I know I’m making my situation worse but I’m very serious when I say everything wrong happens to me. My head hurts, my bowels and bladder barely function. My weight is all over the place, I NEVER have an apetite and when I do we have no food. Actually there are days that when I wake up, I’m mad I didn’t die in my sleep!I used to have it all. An amazing career, been single mother since my son was 2 and he’s now 19. I had my own house, I had college money for him. I worked my ass off and sacrificed so much to be everything for him because his father abandoned him. And everything is gone!!! He has to get assistance for college. I lost house and now I rent and barely do that. I’m living on a wing and a prayer every god damn day. If I die now, all my son will remember are the recent years that his mother was useless and a failure. I didn’t do this to me. But now I’m ashamed, embarrassed and he is too. I can tell. And I’m so alone. I’m alone everyday every night. Everyone tells me I’m beautiful. But what’s what do I have to offer a relationship. “Hi, I have no job, not sure if I can pay rent, I’m starving because I can’t get groceries. I don’t have the guts to kill myself and I’d never do that to my son. But I don’t want this life either. And I think the reason things keep getting worse is because I am dying slowly. And god or the angels are like “why bother, she won’t be here long”. And I bet when I die it will be awful and a lot suffering. Yes I’m having a huge pity party for myself but there’s no way out. I don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. and next year when my son moves out, what’s left to live for? I honestly think he’s the only reason I haven’t gone yet. He’s destined for incredible things and my job is to raise him right to get there. Well he’s almost there. Honor student, gifted, talented. Just incredible. I want to be happy. I want to have love, I want a reason to give me hope and there isn’t any. I know I need therapy, can’t afford it. But most of I’m scared my immune system can’t fight anymore and that’s why I catch everything. At first I didn’t feel this bad cause I had amazing life insurance to leave my son, but they cancelled that because I missed a payment. So there’s nothing. Nothing but the worst memories in the world for him and probably relief a little when I’m gone. I believe in karma and I must have paid my debt in that by now so when does it stop!? How do I get the strength to carry on when there literally not one person who even cares if I do. I don’t want this life anymore, I’m so sick of being a useless lump of flesh that has nowhere to go, no friends, no one to love and no reason to want a future. Because I can’t do it anymore. I just can’t.
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Dflanagan1985
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#85
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#85
Hi my name is Dan and I’ve been feeling exactly what you’ve been feeling about death, and I know this post is from 4 years ago. Everyone I believe thinks about death from time to time but the last few months I’ve been obsessed with it. The feeling I get when I think about the future and this thought in the back of my mind that I won’t be around to experience it continues to play again and again. I don’t plan on ever hurting myself, I just have this gut feeling that something bad is going to happen to me and I will not make it out alive. I’m only 32 years old, and my gf says I might be experiencing a mid-life crisis. I always thought that people get those after 40.After reading your post, I feel a little better that I’m not alone in these feelings I just don’t know what to do to make it go away, I’ve tried so hard to forget about it and just continue to live my life, but everyday these thoughts pop into my mind without any kind of trigger. I’m just really effin scared, because I really believe I’m going to die sometime in the near future. I even wonder if there’s a small percentage of people who died young experienced these feelings up until their death. I really want someone to talk to about this, someone who might be going through the same thing, I’m oretty desperate at this point. I’m going to leave my email address below in hopes someone will find this. Hope to talk to someone real soon.Sincerely,Dan
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Toriiindrani
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#86
Report 8 months ago
#86
I am literally going through the same thing girl exactly the same. I feel like I just know. I’m not really scared like I’ve just accepted it’s going to happen soon. Like I feel like I can’t really picture the future anymore
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Foreverconfu
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#87
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#87
Anxiety is good and bad it has a good side like being caution it can keep you safe like feeling nervous and anxious is natural and very normal and healthy
However sometimes it can get the better of us and can really stop us from doing a lot if things like sometimes even getting out of bed in the morning.
But anxiety is all a mental thing and can be helped from counselling aka jusy talking to someone doesn’t have to be a professional it can just be a friend or someone who is level headed!
It’s very normal and everyone at oney point in their life feels like this
I would suggest seeing a doctor talking abou your issues and seeing what can be done and it’s a journey something that won’t happen over night but remember to keep track of things that trigger it and then you’ll have a ground to work up from xx
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makeitcount2018
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#88
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#88
Ugh I'm going through the same think. I feeling like I can see into the future and I'll just know I'm going to die soon. Doctors say it's anxiety it just sucks
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TheTroll73
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#89
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#89
We all die eventually

you may be feeling overwhelmed with life, Try relaxing until you feel rested.
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Anonymous #5
#90
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#90
I hope I die soon. Life will move on.
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jo scanlon
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#91
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#91
Ive had a feeling for many yrs that my age of going to heaven will be 78. Im 54 now. I dont no why that figure stays with me.
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Anonymous #6
#92
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#92
Quilt tell me if that feeling ever goes away becuase I am having the same problem right now. I found a hard bump on the back of my neck in the left middle under my hairline. It doesnt hurt, but Im scared it could be something serious. My right eye is slowly getting worse and they take a second longer to focus and in the mornings I feel as if there is a jelly film over them but that feeling goes away after a few mins.
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Hana ayman
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#93
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Ya i get it too but its worst and its been 3 yearswith it going and it is depressinv thinking that I am not going to wake up in the morning makes my stomach hurt I've been through some hard things . I am always crying and sobbing and I don't want to tell my parents what ik am thinking about anyways does anyone have a solution to this .Love Hana ❤
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Marierierie
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#94
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#94
Hey I'd really like to converse with you. I feel the same and I would just like to ask some things and maybe I can help you or maybe you can help me. Who knows.
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maths_tripos23
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#95
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Let me have a cheeky peak would ya. What restaurant you working at? I’d fancy a bit of a look up ya skirt for some tasty pie <3
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AlphaAlexa
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#96
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#96
This happens to me to!
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Julie846
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#97
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#97
Hi. You don’t sound weird at all. I have had strange feeling,not all the tim,but every now and then.It’s worse at night. I have a feeling that death is around and waiting for me.(I know bit morbid lol.)I hate this feeling,it’ makes me feel really down. I myself have always been a bit depressed,but this is something different,I’ve never experienced anything like this before. I don’t think it is related to being depressed. I have read a bit about this,and it said when death is near you have all kinds of simtomsWhich I have some. I know it’s not the same as you,but its the same kind of feeling of dying. I sometimes think I am loosing my mind. I did tell my daughter,but it’s really hard to explaine to someone that you think death has come for you. Lol. Thanks Julie.
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Julie846
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#98
Report 6 months ago
#98
Hi
I’ve had a feeling that death is around me. It’s not all the time.
I have had depression,but feel like this is totally different..
The feeling is stronger at night.
I’m wondering if it’s my body telling me I am going to die soon.
I’ve got other things happened,but I’m not gona go into that lol.
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Xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
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#99
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#99
I feel the exact same! Im constantly feeling my breasts and body for lumps and i cant get the fear of death out of my head. When i try to imagine my future i cannot and its black. Im only 15 years old and i cant get it out of my head. I have a pretty tramatic life but idk.
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MilleniumAngel
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#100
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#100
I have this and I'm glad I'm so aware of my own mortality. Every time I cross a road, it makes me much more cautious, which is always a good thing. I like to think that the more aware you are of death, the less likely you will die from something preventable BECAUSE you are aware of every risk, if that makes sense?
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