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    Recently I went out around town with friends and got drunk, I told my girlfriend I would be in for 3am. I ended up pretty drunk, in a house with strangers including girls which she found out about and I have lied to her but I did not cheat and nothing happened as I made sure of that and I avoided the girls when they tried to approach me!

    Now she says she will never trust me again and saying i've used her as a doormat. She says i'm not the guy who she thought I was which I am! I really am but that night I changed and I was not myself, I really don't know what to do, I love her with all my heart and I never would cheat on her but she is not impressed by the fact I went to a house with girls in it.

    How do I fix this? I know I have done wrong and I could have tried harder!
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    You havent done anything wrong, she needs to get a grip.
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    Don't be a doormat. If she doesn't like you going out then get rid.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Recently I went out around town with friends and got drunk, I told my girlfriend I would be in for 3am. I ended up pretty drunk, in a house with strangers including girls which she found out about and I have lied to her but I did not cheat and nothing happened as I made sure of that and I avoided the girls when they tried to approach me!

    Now she says she will never trust me again and saying i've used her as a doormat. She says i'm not the guy who she thought I was which I am! I really am but that night I changed and I was not myself, I really don't know what to do, I love her with all my heart and I never would cheat on her but she is not impressed by the fact I went to a house with girls in it.

    How do I fix this? I know I have done wrong and I could have tried harder!
    to try a different approach to those before me, i would consider looking from her perspective.

    now i am of course not taking her side, however all she hears is that you went on a night out, got drunk and went to a house full of girls.
    no matter what you say to her, if she convinces herself that you aren't being truthful, there is little you can do

    it's clear that she really cares about you because if she didn't, she wouldn't get so worked up/paranoid about this

    i'm not sure anything you say can convince her to trust you again
    but maybe get somebody else to talk to her and tell her nothing happened
    possibly a mutual friend who was out with you?
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    No no. Do not explain. Otherwise she will just go on and on. Some women repeat this stuff for ever afterwards. Tell her to forget it and quit moaning.
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    You've done nothing wrong at all...sounds like you've had a decent night out and then went to some sort of after party. Obviously, in any social situation like this there are going to be girls, nor should you avoid talking to other girls on purpose (obviously don't try and get with them) just because you have a girlfriend. It shouldn't be hard for her to grasp.
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    Unless you both live in Saudi Arabia, I'm struggling to understand what the problem is.

    She forbids you from socialising with women. You got drunk and spent some time with women but didn't cheat on her. Well, your girlfriend is completely crazy and you're partially crazy for taking this nonsense seriously.

    If you honestly think your actions were reprehensible then all you can do is sincerely apologise and give her time. Personally I'd suggest you sincerely run for the hills.
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    The only problem I see from your side is you lied about it in the first place? Why would you do that if you did nothing wrong? That could be what she's thinking?
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    The only thing you did wrong was lie to her, but been as you DID lie to her, she'll be wondering what else you're lying about, such as cheating on her

    She'll be thinking about it and she'll stew for a bit, but at the end she might get over it when she realises you didn't lie about cheating.

    Just don't lie to her again and she won't have a reason to not trust you.
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    If she's upset because she thinks you cheated, then obviously she's wrong and needs to trust you. (Jeremy Kyle lie detector? )

    If she's upset because you got very, very drunk and behaved irresponsibly, then I can understand why she's not happy and if she sees your behaviour as incompatible with her values, then she has the right to end the relationship.

    Either way, talk to her about it, not us.
 
 
 
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