Money: The Bane of My Life

Has anyone consistently been through experiences which just show how the world would be a better place if money weren't have been invented?

Yesterday, my older sister told me that my older brother was going to see a Councillor. He's got a tough job in London's business district, just moved jobs, had a bad break up, uncle died a couple of weeks ago and all these little things have caused a depression of sorts in him, that he needs to talk about it.

He hadn't told my parents. Now my parents and i have a completely different relationship as my brother and my parents. I felt that i should tell my parents that my brother was going to see a councillor and not to be alarmed. I told them that, and i asked them that maybe it would help if my dad stopped asking my brother for so much money ie. for financial aid.

Somehow, this progressed to a massive argument where i really regret not keeping my bloomin' mouth shut! What transpired is that my parents had said that my brother and sister give money only when they ask. They wonder, if they would give them money if they never asked.

You see, in Chinese tradition, no matter what, the child always gives their parents as much money as they can, without any need for asking etc. But my parents said that we'd all become "westernised." They've sacrificed so much in their lives to put us through private school etc. and that they feel like my siblings (and eventually i) won't give money if we're not asked.

They expect us to show initiative. Of course, my parents are right. We should give to our parents, whenever we can. My brother has an incredible expensive taste and has a flat where virtually all of the furniture is just...ridiculously expensive and he only lives by himself. My parents used him as an example of him not being able to live humbly just for a bit, while he gives my parents more money to them rather than on furniture.

And my dad revealed that we're in heavy debt. £100,000! We always knew we were in debt, but not THAT big.

My sister by the way is a doctor, just graduated last year.

Urgh, i hate money.

Reply 1

Knight-of-Ni

2

I hate money too...

personally, i think you should sit them down and talk to them properly about how much western culture you should adopt, and how they will get themselves out of debt, although if they start arguing maybe you need to see a family mediator? its pretty normal for families these days, lol! :biggrin:

and yes... i hate money. i hate university fees, and how petrol is rising, how houses cost so much and how easy it is to get into debt. unfortunately, theres no other choice. and i hate it! so you arn't alone in that :biggrin:

*hugs* hope you and your family are ok with all thats going on! i'm sure you'll get through it! :biggrin:

Reply 2

Knight-of-Ni

2

darkfairy753

I know how you feel. I hate money and its control over many people's lives. Without money I couldn't have done half of the things in my life and a lot of my achievements have been aided by the use of money. While this is a good thing, it means that I will not be able to choose doing a career that "doesn't pay" even if it was my dream, just to avoid the disadvantages of being poor.

i know... i'd love to have a job doing marine conservation on some island somewhere...

but most of it is voluntary. so to afford it i know i'll end up having to work somewhere i might find boring or just plain horrible to save up the money. it's mad! :biggrin:

not to mention the debt i'll be in after uni... but then if i don't get a well paid job for 25 years... lol! :biggrin:

Reply 3

True Love

OP

Knight-of-Ni

I hate money too...

personally, i think you should sit them down and talk to them properly about how much western culture you should adopt, and how they will get themselves out of debt, although if they start arguing maybe you need to see a family mediator? its pretty normal for families these days, lol! :biggrin:

and yes... i hate money. i hate university fees, and how petrol is rising, how houses cost so much and how easy it is to get into debt. unfortunately, theres no other choice. and i hate it! so you arn't alone in that :biggrin:

*hugs* hope you and your family are ok with all thats going on! i'm sure you'll get through it! :biggrin:

Hmm, lol "get themselves out of debt" will be a problem lol. The thing with Chinese families, is that it's very communal. The betterment of the family above the individual gains/pleasures you know? Of course that's a generalisation, but just to clarify.

My parent's own a fish and chip shop, so it's not exactly the sort of occupation that rakes in loadsa money. And plus, with my aunt being in financial trouble and my dad trying to help her out, the money aspect of the family falls on my brother/sister to help out. It's a very vicious cycle, but thanks for the hugs :smile:

I know we can't ever be rid of money, but we can still bitch about it lol! :biggrin:

I'm aiming to be a lawyer in future, partly due to the amount of money too. But it's not my dream occupation. I guess that we get that a lot, not being able to do what you truly want to do cos of the future notion of money and being able to support yourself comfortably. :confused:

Reply 4

True Love

OP

darkfairy753

You sound like my friend :eek:

I am insanely jealous of the very few people who actually get to have their dream job and not have to worry at all about the financial side to it! (JK Rowling)

Ah well... Such is life.

I know what you mean! I would truly love to be a musician, playing music and getting paid for it. Sadly, it doesn't pay much at all, and my parents always remind me of this fact. I will have to work in either business/law in the future (the "right" path) :rolleyes:

Exactly. Though, i can't see myself being a lawyer ALL my life. I reckon that when the times comes, and i'm financially comfortable enough, i might go ahead and pursue my real career choice: writing.

But as you say, such is life. And unfortunately, the world is run on money...

Reply 5

MattG

1

sounds like a bit of a communication problem, did your brother and sister know your parents are in that much debt?

Reply 6

gbduo

15

well, just to disagree with everyone, i love money, i think it is a wonderful thing to have and gives everyone an ambition and a desire to do well to get it. Therefore makes alot of people happier (although it does not make you happy...just makes life easier once you give up your high paid job!)

As for the OPs situation, i think it's a culture clash really!

Money is awesome, as long as you respect it and don't go silly and stupid with it. Also, you can't have a conversation with money like you can with people. You can have all the money in the world but if you neglect your family and friends you will have no one to enjoy it with. Hence "You can't have a conversation with money" My favourite saying i thought up in one of those deep moments you have!!

Graham

Reply 7

True Love

OP

Oh i agree, money can be a useful thing. But isn't it better to do well because you love the thing you do so much that you want to do well in it, rather than do well in something because of money?

MattG

sounds like a bit of a communication problem, did your brother and sister know your parents are in that much debt?

Well, my siblings always knew my parents were in debt. But...in a mangeable amount and never knew the specific amount of money. Things are ok now, in terms of, we're surviving and we just keep on going but still...it was a surprise.

Reply 8

Knight-of-Ni

2

I love the phrase: *i'd rather be happy and poor than miserable and rich* aslong as i've got people i love around me i don't mind about money, though it would be helpful! I can't see my bf at the minute because he's working for money for uni all the time. is so sad!

Go dreams!!! xxx

Money: The Bane of My Life

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