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    Hi, so I'm about to finish my first year of university at Liverpool Hope and I haven't made any friends since starting. I'm pretending to my mum that I've made loads of friends and that I'm really happy - but I'm not.

    I've tried everything, 'being yourself' talking to people online and nothing seems to work. Why can't I make any friends? Has anyone got any advice because I really don't know what to do.
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    I think you should be honest with your mum- maybe the fact you're putting on a pretense is making it worse.

    There's no shame in not making friends in the first year- I'm talking from experience. But try change something about your approach. Are you coming on too strongly? Have you joined societies that you're interested in and given them a fair chance?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi, so I'm about to finish my first year of university at Liverpool Hope and I haven't made any friends since starting. I'm pretending to my mum that I've made loads of friends and that I'm really happy - but I'm not.

    I've tried everything, 'being yourself' talking to people online and nothing seems to work. Why can't I make any friends? Has anyone got any advice because I really don't know what to do.
    Hey, a very good friend of mine goes to Liverpool Hope and will be finishing his first year soon as well. (unless your the person I know, I don't think you are though as he tends not to go on internet forums).

    PM Me if you just want to chat about things.

    I know a few people who haven't seemed to be able to make friends at other uni so have quit. Worst thing you could do.
    If you feel shy around people then they will more than likely think you want to be left alone. Be confident (This doesn't mean go over the top with everything) - Chat to people on your course and see if they are doing anything, even if the thing doesn't interest you still you can go along just to chat and get to know then a bit better, maybe.
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    Same here.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EEW-9NDM5k
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi, so I'm about to finish my first year of university at Liverpool Hope and I haven't made any friends since starting. I'm pretending to my mum that I've made loads of friends and that I'm really happy - but I'm not.

    I've tried everything, 'being yourself' talking to people online and nothing seems to work. Why can't I make any friends? Has anyone got any advice because I really don't know what to do.
    Like one of the posters said, I think you should tell your mum the truth first - maybe she could give you some advice?

    Talk to some people on your course, you might actually have similar interests (bar the subject you're studying). Even if you're shy, try to mingle with the crowd - don't just sit away from everyone else, it'll make you stick out like a sore thumb and you'll seem as though you're not easily approachable. When people do approach you, be active to talk to them and they'll see what a nice person you are! Start off with asking questions (nothing too in-depth) to get to know them better and even if they have completely different interests to you, you might actually find that you can get along with them just fine. Also, get involved with as many extra activities as you can - uni societies are a great start! It'll give you a chance to meet and mingle with new people and maybe even introduce you to some knew friends! Try some team activities (e.g. team sports) as this will help you connect with people better rather than doing solitary activities.

    And I can't really say you haven't made friends because I don't know what you're like etc but I bet you're a lovely person if you need any advice or want someone to talk to, you can happily PM whenever
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    Hey, have you tried joining the student societies? They are the best ways to make friends at uni in my opinion.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hi, so I'm about to finish my first year of university at Liverpool Hope and I haven't made any friends since starting. I'm pretending to my mum that I've made loads of friends and that I'm really happy - but I'm not.

    I've tried everything, 'being yourself' talking to people online and nothing seems to work. Why can't I make any friends? Has anyone got any advice because I really don't know what to do.
    study well. you will get friends as they will be impressed by your intelligence in studies. That takes time. In my point of view its better not to have friends. Have only friends with loyal good people. Be safe always.
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    Same here. Except I went through 4 years of university without making any friends. Not that I care, I prefer it that way. I can dedicate all of my mental energy on my studies, I can stay focussed and never have to worry about other people. I never really actively sought to make friends. If people wanted to talk to me or whatever, I was always happy to partake in little conversations, but that's as far as I went. Never really chased people around campus or went to socials or anything like that, I prefer to stay independent.

    It's hard to say why you're unable to make friends. I'm sure you won't like to hear this, but people probably just don't like you and find you boring and completely uninteresting, no offense. That's the reason why I've never been able to make friends, maybe it's the same for you, but I can't really say for sure. I'm not saying that's the only reason, it could be lots of other things. But I find that if you're not making friends, it means people don't like you and don't want to spend time talking to you or getting to know you because you have nothing interesting to offer, most likely.

    The key is, you have to learn to live with being lonely. Take pride in your solitude, embrace it and learn to become comfortable in your own presence. That way, you'll be able to draw some sort of satisfaction from silence and solitude. For me personally, purely social (i.e. non professional or non work/academic related) interactions with people drain me completely, physically and mentally, it's very exhausting to try to impress people and smile and be nice for them. I hate that whole social ritual personally. I don't really find people interesting or worthy of much attention. So I never found the need to chase people or form friendships, unless it's something related to work or academia, something which will benefit my work and studies. Then I might be inclined to talk to someone a bit more extensively.

    Well, I hope that helps, although I doubt it will. I hope you find your way. I'm sure you'll find happiness and satisfaction eventually. May not be tomorrow, you might have to wait even a whole year, but it'll be worth it in the end when you form some meaningful bonds with people.

    Cheers.
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    You know everyone finds it difficult going away from family and friends for the first time.

    Lots of good advice about joining societies next year. Offer to help with Freshers' Week. Most societies will be delighted. Then remember how hard it is for new comers and offer to help show them round. Some Unis have college 'fathers and mothers' in the year above, who are paired with Freshers in their department / halls etc. to help them settle in. Start up a system like this in your department - put a notice on the board and ask for volunteers for next term.: one male and one female for each Fresher. Make a list of all the things you could have done with knowing both general and particular to your subject.

    Find a spot in the department etc.where newcomers can come and ask for help and you're away. You'll be surprised how soon you'll be rushed off your feet. It gives Freshers a friendly face to talk to and it gives people like you an 'excuse' to be friendly. Win win.
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    **** friends, graduate with a first. No one goes to University just to make friends that'll forget you in 5 years time.
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    I start Liverpool Hope in September, I'll be more than happy to be your first friend, I won't know anyone either!
 
 
 
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