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Why do you think you need a man/woman?
Ok, personally i don't think it is essential to life to have a partner, but to some it obviously is as this has been expressed and i have had os many people say to me they NEED a boyfriend or they NEED a girlfriend. I may not be the best person to comment on this cos i actually coannot remember what its like to be single and knowing me and the relationship i have with my boyfriend i doubt i would last two seconds out in the world of single people. In my experience partners provide, security and someone to say they love you, someone to spend time with you when you want a little more than a friend, someone to have sex with (if that is important to you). Partners provide a lot of things in life that we like, but how many people think they are actually needed? Of course everyone would like someone to grow old with so maybe later on in life they can be thought of as needed. But who at our age actually thinks they NEED a partner and try not to confuse NEED with WANT or like having them around just to be there?
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Hmm.
This is easier to answer when single. When I'm single I never feel like I need a man tbh - I'm always perfectly happy on my own.
However, when someone comes along, then the thought of being without them just makes your heart sink and feel a little queasy. In this situation I would say I need him. Not to fulfill any part of me, like filling the lonely gap or whatnot, but just to be him. I love who he is and I need him around.
This is easier to answer when single. When I'm single I never feel like I need a man tbh - I'm always perfectly happy on my own.
However, when someone comes along, then the thought of being without them just makes your heart sink and feel a little queasy. In this situation I would say I need him. Not to fulfill any part of me, like filling the lonely gap or whatnot, but just to be him. I love who he is and I need him around.
No-one needs anything but food, water and shelter.
At our age (talking teenagers and early 20's no-one needs to have a partner. (No-one needs to be having sex with someone either!) Partners are not essencial in life HOWEVER everyone should be on a look out for the person they want to spend the rest of there life with
if that means dating 100's of people then fine. (just one at a time though 
)
It's not a need but it's a huge want and it's a luxury to grow old with someone you love.
Says she who is totally in love and couldn't imagine being withough current partner!
At our age (talking teenagers and early 20's no-one needs to have a partner. (No-one needs to be having sex with someone either!) Partners are not essencial in life HOWEVER everyone should be on a look out for the person they want to spend the rest of there life with
if that means dating 100's of people then fine. (just one at a time though )It's not a need but it's a huge want and it's a luxury to grow old with someone you love.
Says she who is totally in love and couldn't imagine being withough current partner!
people who *need* a parter should re-evaluate their lives. no one needs someone else to make them happy.
I've never once needed or wanted a partner when I've been single. 
high priestess fnord
people who *need* a parter should re-evaluate their lives. no one needs someone else to make them happy.
What a flippant and facile generalisation. Certainly, no-one 'needs' happiness either; but they're nonetheless entirely within their rights to seek it out where it's most likely to be found, and in the greatest abundance: if this entails being beholden to another human-being, then so be it. Personally, I can't see myself attaining any consistent 'happiness' by other means; not that human-beings are quintessentially anything other than hopelessly inept at ascertaining what it is that they want from life, in any event: after all, such matters being subjective; how can one possibly know what is likely to elicit the most gratification a priori? Which is more invaluable: 'happiness' as derived in the form of pleasure from mindless self-indulgence, or the notion of another being's wholesale endorsement of your psyche? (That was a rhetorical question: there is no objective answer.)
Indeed, I daresay that the very title of this thread only affirms my point.
I'm single and I don't *need* a boyfriend. I think in a few years time if I'm single, however, I will feel like I do need one. I've recently come to the conclusion that I would be perfectly happy for my next boyfriend to be my last, if he was the right person. I like being single, but I don't think I'd miss it if I was with someone I loved.
Profesh
What a flippant and facile generalisation. Certainly, no-one 'needs' happiness either; but they're nonetheless entirely within their rights to seek it out where it's most likely to be found, and in the greatest abundance: if this entails being beholden to another human-being, then so be it. Personally, I can't see myself attaining any consistent 'happiness' by other means.
havnt you noticed that the people who feel the need a partner
a) never usually find one
b) when they do find one they are so clingy that they drive people away
c) stay in bad relationships that they would be much better off without
d) get used because they make themselves very vulnerable
my remark wasnt flipant. it was based on watching friends suffering from this exact problem.
Of course there is a certain desire to find a partner, and it can be taken as a "flippant and facile generalisation" that people shouldn't need a partner, but I think what HPF is saying is that relationships should not be based on reliance upon somebody else for happiness, rather, the "need" is different, it is the need to be loved, but it should not be something that consumes somebody in their entirety. I've been single my whole life, and used to despair in my loneliness, making ironic remarks about people being miserable about being "alone" for more than 3 months. But I realised, life is also about self-love and finding one's own journey, and along it love may be found, and will make me a happier person, but it shouldn't be the ONLY thing that makes me happy.
A partner is a want, not a need.
And the reason you want one is because you don't want to be the old lady neighbourhood spinster with a flat smelling of cat **** and a subscription to knitting monthly.
Same applies for men. Except perhaps a dog and fishing monthly.
And the reason you want one is because you don't want to be the old lady neighbourhood spinster with a flat smelling of cat **** and a subscription to knitting monthly.
Same applies for men. Except perhaps a dog and fishing monthly.
A partner is no more necessary than 'happiness' can be said to denote a definitive or an absolute, but I shall nonetheless anticipate that having one stands to make me 'happier' than would the realisation of any other salient ambition that I may currently harbour (speculative ramifications aside), and as such I purport 'needing' a partner inasmuch as I might feign require anything on which I am not physiologically dependent for my own survival.
Ergo, I want a partner in order to make myself happier; I need a partner in the sense that I cannot see anything else making as much of a difference to my net happiness, and inasmuch as the lack of one moderates and impinges upon any 'happiness' that I have, or should otherwise hope to attain. (Which is to say, any other happiness pales by comparison to the speculative potential satisfaction posed by a relationship.)
Notwithstanding; I do not prescribe my predicament as symptomatic of the human condition per se, but rather symptomatic of my condition (which might be described as quintessentially human, whilst not being necessarily universally applicable).
That said, this is all 'speculative': indeed, perhaps having had a partner will irrevocably alter my conception of 'happiness'; but there is to my mind only one way of knowing, and it requires that I first realise my potential.
Ergo, I want a partner in order to make myself happier; I need a partner in the sense that I cannot see anything else making as much of a difference to my net happiness, and inasmuch as the lack of one moderates and impinges upon any 'happiness' that I have, or should otherwise hope to attain. (Which is to say, any other happiness pales by comparison to the speculative potential satisfaction posed by a relationship.)
Notwithstanding; I do not prescribe my predicament as symptomatic of the human condition per se, but rather symptomatic of my condition (which might be described as quintessentially human, whilst not being necessarily universally applicable).
That said, this is all 'speculative': indeed, perhaps having had a partner will irrevocably alter my conception of 'happiness'; but there is to my mind only one way of knowing, and it requires that I first realise my potential.
Eien
Of course there is a certain desire to find a partner, and it can be taken as a "flippant and facile generalisation" that people shouldn't need a partner, but I think what HPF is saying is that relationships should not be based on reliance upon somebody else for happiness, rather, the "need" is different, it is the need to be loved, but it should not be something that consumes somebody in their entirety. I've been single my whole life, and used to despair in my loneliness, making ironic remarks about people being miserable about being "alone" for more than 3 months. But I realised, life is also about self-love and finding one's own journey, and along it love may be found, and will make me a happier person, but it shouldn't be the ONLY thing that makes me happy.
thanks for the back up
I don't need a man. I only want one if he'll be good to me. I know so many girls who just feel they need a boyfriend and end up with some losers just to feel "loved" or "wanted." Boo.
mamo
exactly....i mean wat other reason will make u get married
being totally in love with your other half and wanting to spend the rest of your life with him/her? there again sex is still a very good reason too
No, I don't think you will ever "need" anyone, objectively speaking. You will still survive without anyone. And as long as you have friends, loneliness won't be a problem. So I would argue, no you never really NEED a partner.
However, when you're in a relationship, you grow to need the person, more on an emotional sense, like you've come to rely and trust this person and for him/her to support you. And due to this - you "need" the person just cus it suddenly feels unsafe without them. It's not an objective "need" like you'd die without them, or you'd necessarily be unhappy without them. But at the time, you need them, just not in an objective sense.
Although I would argue that those married - as in those who did not marry the wrong person and therefore stay married for all thier lives - they probably do need each other in the objective sense cus they simply won't be happy without them.
However, when you're in a relationship, you grow to need the person, more on an emotional sense, like you've come to rely and trust this person and for him/her to support you. And due to this - you "need" the person just cus it suddenly feels unsafe without them. It's not an objective "need" like you'd die without them, or you'd necessarily be unhappy without them. But at the time, you need them, just not in an objective sense.
Although I would argue that those married - as in those who did not marry the wrong person and therefore stay married for all thier lives - they probably do need each other in the objective sense cus they simply won't be happy without them.
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