I will have no friends from uni attending my graduation

My god I have just summed up everything I wanted to say for 3 years in what took 100 odd threads. I'm printing this and showing my counsellor tomorrow.

You need to breathe.. Now you need to think, what's the point? It's already happened, you're moving on, just avoid making the same mistakes when you move out.

What mistake? I can't repeat university life. I'm not moving on, I have my ceremony to dread and yet look.forward to yet.

Oh, Tom.

She means when you start work. I know it can be difficult with various mental health problems to be outgoing, but I don't believe that it's something another person can sort out for you. You really have to understand that you have to beat your issues before you can achieve this life you want for yourself.

I'm not saying go into denial about your problems - there's a fine line between denial and overcoming issues. I have no easy answer for you, and I can assure you that nobody on this board will have either.

You'll find lots of people will make suggestions like, 'Yeah, you should've just left your mum because it's your life,' which is an easy suggestion to make in retrospect but almost certainly not such a simple thing to deal with at the time. So if the case is that you can't do anything but make retrospective amendments to your life, then why are you bothering. You physically can't make those changes.

You ask where to go from here?

It seems obvious to me; you've spent the past 3 years as an outcast - sometimes by choice, sometimes due to health problems and others due to a sense of duty to others. I'd be nothing but proud of the latter of the three, understanding of the second and thoughtful about the first.

'Why didn't I join more socials?' *If it's something you can't change, then why are you so upset? You're going to have plenty of time to make friends with work colleagues etc.
'Why do I feel that alcohol *has* to lead to negative feelings?' *If you go into a situation completely scared out of your wits, you're going to make it difficult to enjoy.

Your health problems are something which will take time to overcome. Not much I can say there; no real experience to deliver empathy from, I'm afraid.

You made the choice of sacrificing yourself for your mum. It's a pretty noble thing to do, even if it makes you miserable. If you can say that you've made your mum happier by even 1% by just being around, then it's a triumph in that respect.

Keep fighting ^_^

>90% of my friends were on my course, but I graduated at a collegiate university so I was largely with people I didn't know. The only exception being two people from my course, who I only briefly bumped into and a few of my first year housemates, who I'd barely spoken to since first year.

It was still a nice day.

You'll have a degree soon, so in theory the world's your shellfish - do whatever will make you happy.