Boyfriends going on holiday!

Whistle_1989

My boyfriend's going on holiday in a couple of days and i have been going out with him for about two years and i havent been without him for this long. Im going to miss him so much but i see this as a bit of a chance to claim some independance back. I just want to be with him all the time and im sure it does his head in as it does mine! Its too much sometimes, like too much of a good thing! we argue a bit too because it usually seems to be me arranging when we see each other and stuff like that.
He says he feels like i dont want him to go onto holiday but i do im just scared cos i havent been without him for so long before. So how can i stop myself thinking about him when he goes away and how can i stop myself being like it when he comes back as well.?!

Reply 1

Mark S

17

Scared? What do you need him to cross the road with you and tuck you in at night?

Reply 2

Mark S

17

There's girls that have husbands fighting in iraq...getting blown up, shot at, away for months at a time.

And you're 'scared' because hes going on holiday. It's a joke to be honest. Pull yourself together. We all know hes going to be fine.

Reply 3

Whistle_1989

OP

I just want some advice to gain back a bit of independance cos were together all the time and now hes going away i will miss him a lot more than i should do if that makes sense. I know he will be fine in that sense i didn't mean i was scared in that way. And no, i dont need him to tuck me in at night :p:

it's just because we are always together 2 weeks is going to seem like a long time thats all

Reply 4

Mark S

17

~Plays bitter sweet symphony~

Reply 5

kitty123

1

Markus I do agree with what your saying about people in Iraq, but i think you are being a bit insensitive! The only thing I can suggest is keep yourself occupied! Ring some friends, go shopping whatever, don't just sit at home thinking about him. Like Markus said, there are people who are worse off, maybe if you think about that you might not feel the need to think about him so much? He is safe where he is. Maybe this is a good chance for you to gain some much needed independence!

Reply 6

kizer

15

You haven't been apart for more than two weeks in two years?? Woah. How old are you? Good on you for having a strong, loving relationship, but seriously, can you not occupy yourself for two weeks??

Reply 7

Mark S

17

If you're losing your sense of ability to cope with independance maybe you shouldnt spend so much time with him.

Reply 8

kitty123

1

Markus Angelsdaughter

If you're losing your sense of ability to cope with independance maybe you shouldnt spend so much time with him.

He's probably right. If you carry on seeing him constantly, ever time you are apart you're gonna freak out :frown:

Reply 9

hallucination

1

Yeah and imagine if you ever break up.....you'll be devastated. I'm not suggesting that you will, but I've always wanted to have some distance from my boyfriend (we spend a lot of time on our own with our friends etc) so that if things fall apart, our lives don't. Spend more time with your friends and family - you never know, you might realise what you've been missing out on over the past couple of years. Appearing needy is not attractive either - tell your boyfriend to go have a great time and be happy for him.

Reply 10

ciara

13

Surely you have lots of friends who aren't your boyfriend? Spend time with them! Get a job (or more hours at work), go on road trips with your friends, visit relatives, generally get out! And as people have said, this is definitely a sign that you are too dependent on your boyfriend. It's fine to miss him badly, but there have to be other fulfilling elements to your life. I am in the same position (boyfriend is away for 2 weeks) and while I do miss him I am coping fine. And I can't even contact him cos his phone doesn't work out there!

Reply 11

xChellex

A good strong relationship doesn't have to mean absolute dependance on each other. You will miss him yes, but take this opportunity to get independent again. You both still need freedom outside of the relationship to be with friends and family and to just have time to yourself. You shouldn't be scared about being without him - you are a whole person in your own right, so just go and enjoy some time alone.

So just try and relax - eaasier to say than do I know, but he will come home (and make sure you hint that you'd like a souvenir :wink:

).
Don't make him feel bad about going away - make sure he knows that you hope he'll have a good time on holiday, that you will miss him but you'll see him again soon. If you tell yourself and him this, it rubs off and eventually you see the reasoning and believe in it yourself.
Don't worry, once he's been away once and you see that he comes back and everything is fine then you will feel much more at ease the next time he goes away.

Reply 12

fernyfrenchy

i feel like crap my bf being on holiday i havent spoken to him 4 a week dont even no if hes alive or not dont think there is anything u can do other than jsut get on with ur live. im trying but wen u feel like complete and utter crap its hard just wish he wld phone me. o well live goes on :frown:

Reply 13

at318

how long is he going for?

Reply 14

Whistle_1989

OP

fernyfrenchy

i feel like crap my bf being on holiday i havent spoken to him 4 a week dont even no if hes alive or not dont think there is anything u can do other than jsut get on with ur live. im trying but wen u feel like complete and utter crap its hard just wish he wld phone me. o well live goes on :frown:

Hi there, how long has he gone for? im sure he is ok and will call you when he can!

And too everyone else, i have got a job and ive got lots more hours for next week im doing 8 hour shifts monday to friday and then normal hours on weekend so i will be occupied. Im starting to see through how needy i have become on my boyfriend and i realise it will be the end of the relationship if i dont stop it. So im going to be going out a lot with my friends and when he comes back it will be cool! :biggrin:

im gonna buy him a lil prezzie for holiday tomorrow what do you suggest i get him?!

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

yeah my boyfriends been on holiday, it's like living in exile without him. Going to a different uni, that won't be so badbecause at least I can speak to him then! I hadn't heard for him for a week, but I trust him and I think he's probably safe - although, flying home will be hard.

A good strong relationship doesn't have to mean absolute dependance on each other. You will miss him yes, but take this opportunity to get independent again. You both still need freedom outside of the relationship to be with friends and family and to just have time to yourself. You shouldn't be scared about being without him - you are a whole person in your own right, so just go and enjoy some time alone.

well

my boyfriend is also my soul mate, and being without him is like being utterly ALONE. My family live on planet 'practical physics', which appears to be a depressed stropy place.

Reply 16

lilac!!

15

he'll be fine!! dont worry!! :smile:

Reply 17

LPK

20

Markus Angelsdaughter

There's girls that have husbands fighting in iraq...getting blown up, shot at, away for months at a time.

And you're 'scared' because hes going on holiday. It's a joke to be honest. Pull yourself together. We all know hes going to be fine.

Thats a bit unfair. :frown:

Fair enough you have a point, but that does not help her. If she was in that situation then she would be worrying about it, but she isn't, which is why she is worrying about something a lot less serious, but still affecting her. There are millions of things you could say something like that to. For example, if someone was going into hospital for an operation, you could say that people go into hospital to see dying family members. You're still going to worry, so pulling yourself together is not always an option. :frown:

Reply 18

Whistle_1989

OP

LPK

Thats a bit unfair. :frown:

Fair enough you have a point, but that does not help her. If she was in that situation then she would be worrying about it, but she isn't, which is why she is worrying about something a lot less serious, but still affecting her. There are millions of things you could say something like that to. For example, if someone was going into hospital for an operation, you could say that people go into hospital to see dying family members. You're still going to worry, so pulling yourself together is not always an option. :frown:

Thanks for sticking up for me, i'd do you rep but i don't know how to! :biggrin:

Reply 19

fernyfrenchy

Whistle_1989

Hi there, how long has he gone for? im sure he is ok and will call you when he can!

And too everyone else, i have got a job and ive got lots more hours for next week im doing 8 hour shifts monday to friday and then normal hours on weekend so i will be occupied. Im starting to see through how needy i have become on my boyfriend and i realise it will be the end of the relationship if i dont stop it. So im going to be going out a lot with my friends and when he comes back it will be cool! :biggrin:

im gonna buy him a lil prezzie for holiday tomorrow what do you suggest i get him?!

hes coming bk next sun or mon hopefully what with all the flight stuff. im jsut working every day as well im sure he is fine just busy. and i no wen he gets bk we will have a really nice time and well have loads to chat about and it will b great. time apart can only make u stronger. and as my mates say if its meant to be then it will work and if it doesnt then theres some1 more amazing out there 4 u :smile:

Boyfriends going on holiday!

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