I'm scared and want to run away Watch

ella.thorpe
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:mad::mad::mad:
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Anonymous #1
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While I feel like I cannot give you decent advice, I can say that you are not "damaged goods" and should never refer to yourself in that way.
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(Original post by ella.thorpe)
OKay so in the past some bad stuff has happened to me (violence, sexual assult etc) in my relationship but that was 2 years ago now...
I know I should be over it but I'm not, I've never spoken to anybody about it, not even my parents know..
But im now in a relationship with this guy. It hasnt been very long and he is rreally sweet. But I am absolutely terrified that the same thing is gonna happen to me again and I genuinely dont know what to do
He hasnt done anything wrong and he doesnt deserve damaged goods like myself but I dont know what to do
I just want to run away from it all..

Can anybody help me?!

Thanks
Does he know? If you like him and trust him you should tell him about what happended why you're worried. Hopefully he should understand and try to show you he's not like that. I'm sure he wouldn't want you to feel uncomfortable with him, especially when he doesn't know why. Good luck! Xx
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ella.thorpe
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(Original post by Anonymous)
While I feel like I cannot give you decent advice, I can say that you are not "damaged goods" and should never refer to yourself in that way.
That's what I feel like all of the time


(Original post by Anonymous)
Does he know? If you like him and trust him you should tell him about what happended why you're worried. Hopefully he should understand and try to show you he's not like that. I'm sure he wouldn't want you to feel uncomfortable with him, especially when he doesn't know why. Good luck! Xx
He doesn't know when I've told other people before they leg it as soon as they can get a chance :/ I don't know if it will make it worse if I do tell him xx
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An experience like that can be very traumatic and may take a very long time to recover from. It is understandable that you may be scared of it happening again, but it certainly doesn't mean it will. If you feel comfortable, perhaps you should try telling him your fears so that he can understand and help you feel better. I'm sure he will want to help you feel as comfortable with him as much as he can.

Also, please remember you are not "damaged goods" at all. You are a human being, with so much value, and lots of people love you and are here to support you!

If you really feel you are not ready to be in a relationship with this guy because of how you feel then maybe you need some more time to yourself until you are ready.

It might also be good to tell somebody about what happened to you in the past if you feel like you need to do that! You could speak to the Samaritans or Childline (which has an IM which can be easier to use if you don't wanna talk on the phone).

Anyway, I hope you work out what you need to do, because you need to do what's best for you. xx
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James222
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Always remember to think before you do something which later you may regret on in court

Call smaritans charity
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rjb95
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You should, honestly hand on heart tell him. If he loves you he'll stay, if he doesn't then he won't. It's not easy, but it will be a breath of fresh air to get it off of your chest. Keeping things from people can only backfire since they're bound to find out sooner or later, whether you tell them or not. And stories can become fictional when they come out of other sources.
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username1107539
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You need to tell him anon, if he loves you he'll support you, if not then you deserve better. Good luck.
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Crumpet1
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You need professional counselling. Make an appointment with your GP.
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Infinity_4652
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I think counselling would be best, probably with someone from school/college or wherever you're currently studying... but that's only if you feel comfortable to talk to a counsellor about it
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Maudee4567
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(Original post by ella.thorpe)
He doesn't know when I've told other people before they leg it as soon as they can get a chance :/ I don't know if it will make it worse if I do tell him xx
These people are not worth being in a relationship with!
Also we all come with some kind of baggage, some heavier than others but it doesn't make us "damaged"! If he's with you he likes you

I would also reccomend a councellor, it's completly natural to go see one and I've found ithelp (never had your issue but it's nice talking to someone who you don't have other social interaction with..)
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Rainbow Student
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(Original post by ella.thorpe)
OKay so in the past some bad stuff has happened to me (violence, sexual assult etc) in my relationship but that was 2 years ago now...
I know I should be over it but I'm not, I've never spoken to anybody about it, not even my parents know..
But im now in a relationship with this guy. It hasnt been very long and he is rreally sweet. But I am absolutely terrified that the same thing is gonna happen to me again and I genuinely dont know what to do
He hasnt done anything wrong and he doesnt deserve damaged goods like myself but I dont know what to do
I just want to run away from it all..

Can anybody help me?!

Thanks
Stfu, no one in the world is a "damaged good". You have done NOTHING to deserve that label. Your ex was in the wrong, NOT you! I think that if your bf is a really sweet and decent boyfriend who loves you then he would want to know so that he could discuss this with you and offer you his full, heartfelt support. Your parents would want to know too as they would also want to support their daughter, (or son if that's what you are, my apologies), and believe me, you must not feel ashamed for telling them. If you get it off your chest then it will be a big step into overcoming the problem that's getting you down and it'll help you remove just another bit of stress, one bit at a time, and you'll feel relieved that you're not bottling it up anymore. Please do not leave your boyfriend or run away because that's unhealthy for the relationship and also quite cowardly. Facing up to it is the best way and I wish you all the best of luck in the future, and I hope that you and your boyfriend have a happy life together. :hugs:

PS: If you are as useless as you make yourself out to be, your guy wouldn't like you, would he? And also I recommend and advise counselling, it really does help. I know it. :yy:
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Rainbow Student
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(Original post by Infinity_4652)
I think counselling would be best, probably with someone from school/college or wherever you're currently studying... but that's only if you feel comfortable to talk to a counsellor about it
D'aww, why my rep run out? :/ Hi.
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Infinity_4652
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(Original post by Rainbow Student)
D'aww, why my rep run out? :/ Hi.
urmm... no rep business needed here :mmm:
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DorianGrayism
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You have to understand that your fears are irrational.

I would seek advice from a counsellor or psychologist who has experience in this area.
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Anonymous #4
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(Original post by ella.thorpe)
OKay so in the past some bad stuff has happened to me (violence, sexual assult etc) in my relationship but that was 2 years ago now...
I know I should be over it but I'm not, I've never spoken to anybody about it, not even my parents know..
But im now in a relationship with this guy. It hasnt been very long and he is rreally sweet. But I am absolutely terrified that the same thing is gonna happen to me again and I genuinely dont know what to do
He hasnt done anything wrong and he doesnt deserve damaged goods like myself but I dont know what to do
I just want to run away from it all..

Can anybody help me?!

Thanks
I went through the exact same thing two years ago (and was then date raped by another man a week after breaking up) and am now in a really happy relationship with a man who treats me very well and understands what I went through.
I know it's one of the most difficult things you have to do, but you need to have a mature conversation about this with him. If you want to be in a serious relationship, you will, at some point, have to confront this issue. You will move past this, and you are doing so already, given how happy you are in your relationship. However, there are certain things that can trigger panic attacks, just as an example. I had a pretty bad one at Christmas while I was with my boyfriend, no idea what happened to trigger it. He could have ran so easily, but he hasn't. You have to trust him in order to tell him. You don't have to have a full conversation about it if you don't want to, but you should tell him, in person if you're brave enough.
You are not damaged goods. I know how you feel on this one, and counseling did help me an awful lot. I've also had the support of my best friend throughout this and my boyfriend really is there for me. If you have even one person you can talk to, it can make a hell of a lot of difference.
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ssupernova
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You should tell him everything and if he does do a runner then he obviously isn't a decent enough guy for you !
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Rainbow Student
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(Original post by Infinity_4652)
urmm... no rep business needed here :mmm:
Haha
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