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Why am I insecure?
right, really wanted to get something off my chest basically. I feel that I am very insecure in myself with little self confidence and self assurity. I just do not understand why though, because it just seems to me that I have no reason to be and its really starting to get to me now. Back in school in my group of friends, I always tended to be the quiet one who always listened to what other people said and that was how I gained there respect. Also, I was bullied at one point, maybe this has affected me in terms of my self belief, I really don't know. As far as girls go, people have told me that I aint really a bad looking guy and have asked why I don't have a girlfriend, to which I reply, I ain't met the right girl, but really I am very unconfident and I know I would take it heart if I got rejected and I know this would knock me down even more. I really don't know what to do now, as its really getting me down now and everyone around me doesn't seem to have a problem like me. I thought it was a problem that I would just overcome, but its definately not something that goes away over night. Any ideas anyone? 
p.s. im so glad I just got that off my chest
p.s. im so glad I just got that off my chest
Well done for having the courage to chat about it mate.
I've had a similar life experience as yourself and occasionally find myself in a trough where there seems like nothing is happening but then a few weeks later life is good and I'm on a peak.
I find variety helps, try visiting a friend you haven't seen for a while or trying something new.
Hope that helps.
I've had a similar life experience as yourself and occasionally find myself in a trough where there seems like nothing is happening but then a few weeks later life is good and I'm on a peak.
I find variety helps, try visiting a friend you haven't seen for a while or trying something new.
Hope that helps.
I can relate because I'm also very insecure and not confident at all (though i mostly can fake it) i'm not deep down inside.
I wouldn't worry though as you have many friends and girls have complimented you, i'd just remember that when you're feeling down. Try contributing more though within your friendship group, you should be comfortable within them so why not? And youll feel better the closer you become to people.
Atleast you have the courage to open up about it, i doubt i would (not counting an internet forum lol)
I wouldn't worry though as you have many friends and girls have complimented you, i'd just remember that when you're feeling down. Try contributing more though within your friendship group, you should be comfortable within them so why not? And youll feel better the closer you become to people.
Atleast you have the courage to open up about it, i doubt i would (not counting an internet forum lol)
Best way to start improving is to admit what you feel is wrong with you, and you've done that. Just try and take little steps towards becoming more confident; attempting to change too quickly is liable to risk you feeling even worse.
Believe it or not, I was insecure once. Now I'm an arrogant b*****d. Let that be a lesson to you; don't try and push your self confidence too far.
Believe it or not, I was insecure once. Now I'm an arrogant b*****d. Let that be a lesson to you; don't try and push your self confidence too far.
Awwwww, you poor thing. I know how you feel because I've always been quiet and perhaps you could say insecure, but I don't think it's got in the way of my finding good relationships or friendships. As long as you are friendly and considerate then people should notice you: these things are far more important than having an extroverted personality. If you are pleasant enough, only those people are worth your attention who actually put in an effort to get to know you.
dnbhead
right, really wanted to get something off my chest basically. I feel that I am very insecure in myself with little self confidence and self assurity. I just do not understand why though, because it just seems to me that I have no reason to be and its really starting to get to me now. Back in school in my group of friends, I always tended to be the quiet one who always listened to what other people said and that was how I gained there respect. Also, I was bullied at one point, maybe this has affected me in terms of my self belief, I really don't know. As far as girls go, people have told me that I aint really a bad looking guy and have asked why I don't have a girlfriend, to which I reply, I ain't met the right girl, but really I am very unconfident and I know I would take it heart if I got rejected and I know this would knock me down even more. I really don't know what to do now, as its really getting me down now and everyone around me doesn't seem to have a problem like me. I thought it was a problem that I would just overcome, but its definately not something that goes away over night. Any ideas anyone?
p.s. im so glad I just got that off my chest
p.s. im so glad I just got that off my chest
You are not alone.
you'll grow out of it...im only 17 but from 15-17, i was very insecure due to paticular events but its all in the past.
turn your negatives into positives e.g you use to get bullied, now personally that would make me stronger and i will make sure no one will ever ever do that again.
turn your negatives into positives e.g you use to get bullied, now personally that would make me stronger and i will make sure no one will ever ever do that again.
By actually having the nerve to admit that I really think you're on a good path to becoming a more outspoken person. It's been said before earlier in this thread, but it really is good that you've got the confidence to speak out about your lack of confidence so to speak.
And also on your fear of rejection - there's nothing more attractive than a guy willing to admit his insecurities and face up to them like a man so I wouldn't worry too much about rejection
And also on your fear of rejection - there's nothing more attractive than a guy willing to admit his insecurities and face up to them like a man so I wouldn't worry too much about rejection
it could well be you had a bad experience somewhere in your life, maybe at school or even at home.
I was verbally bullied at school and even 6th form (though 6th form was in a joke way) still i had no confidence at all only when i left for uni did i regain some of it, i think the main thing is to do something different everyday that will excite you but you'll be nervous or something to try.
haha... i was a bit insecure like you, and still am sometimes but i don't really show it coz i appear very confident to everyone.
what you can do is believe in yourself, think you can do it, and then go and do it. it works wonders and boosts your self confidence. also, having trusting friends who encourage you help a lot.
try a new hobby or something, when you get good at it you feel really good as well (actually trying a new hobby works for almost all situations lolx)
what you can do is believe in yourself, think you can do it, and then go and do it. it works wonders and boosts your self confidence. also, having trusting friends who encourage you help a lot.
try a new hobby or something, when you get good at it you feel really good as well (actually trying a new hobby works for almost all situations lolx)
right thanks for all replies! I know I am the only one that can change things step by step which I will hopefully do. With regards to some of the comments: As for hobbys, I do so many sports like football, badminton, tennis, snowboarding etc... and ive been told im pretty good at anything I do sport wise. As for growing out of it, I don't think I will do to be honest, I wish I would, but I just can't see it happening. I just gotta be positive I guess!!
Related discussions
- Insecurity
- I feel so insecure
- why do guys make a big deal out of girls wearing makeup?
- Insecurities as a Tall girl
- Insecurity
- My bf found out about my past
- Help
- How to deal with insecurity from internalised racism
- why am i so ugly?
- Feeling stressed, depressed and insecure .. because of my name.
- Applying to hardship fund for 7th time
- Porn/searching up only fans
- As an anorexic, do you judge people based on their appearance?
- mentality
- Do guys think redheads are hot
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- need advice on this girl
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- should i give him a chance?
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