The Student Room Group

confused..

lastnight i was at the pub with my other half and friends.he told me to bring a bag of stuff and just stay at his so i did so.but at the end of the night he came over outside the pub and was like aw hun will u go home(ie to his house) and ill be up in a few hours im goin to go to this party.the party was with girls he went on hols with but i wasnt for going to his house alone at 2am and waiting for him to come home to bed.so i said no ill go home then and it ended up a full shouting match outside the pub infront of everyone.and i turned round and walked off towards the taxi depot which is a good 15 min walk away.he didnt follow me or anything so i got a taxi back home which is the opposite direction. when i got home i foned him and he was like were are u etc and why did u go home. he was at the party so told him i wanted nothing more to do with him if he was going to treat me like this etc. i also said things like i was going to ruin my life by not going to uni for you etc and he hung up the fone.we were both drunk but later in the night his friend phoned me and told me he loved meetc and i didnt mean what i said.these fone calls went on all night. i foned him at 6am this mornin because i couldnt sleep and i wanted it sorted. i apologised for what i had said but he seemed to turn it round to so i was the bad person but surely leaving your girlfriend to go to a party in that way isnt my fault???is it?

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Reply 1
He's seems to be very disrespectful to you. Why didn't he want you to go to the party with him? Was you tired and needed to go home to sleep? If not, and if he loves you as much as his friends say, then surely he'd want to stay with you.
well im always tired like but it wasnt the fact he went to the party as much as the fact he specifcally told me to bring stuff to stay and go to work from his house. he basically diserted me.i wudnt have went to the party with him anyways cuz theyre all about 3,4,5 years older than me...but he let me walk at 2am to the taxi dep by myself aswell didnt come after me or anything.am i over reacting?i think weve split up since the things i said on the fone.i dont no whether to ring him or not.dont want to make the effort if it wasnt my fault.i always run after him whenever things happen.
Reply 3
I think you are in the right and in no way overreacting.
Reply 4
I'm sorry but he sounds like an arsehole. You're not overreacting at all, to be honest with you I don't think you should be wasting your time on him, of course know nothing about your relationship but from this story he just sounds like drama thats going to hold you back.
Reply 5
he does sound like a bit of an arse to me too. also - don't not go to uni for this guy (or anyone) as uni shapes the rest of your life in so many ways.
I agree with other people here, but by not going to uni for him and you saying things like you don't want anything more to do with him because he went to a party, don't you think you're overreacting just an ickle bit? I'd have said "can I come too?". Not hard. Maybe he'd only just got invited... maybe he wanted you to come.
lollipopsticks
well im always tired like but it wasnt the fact he went to the party as much as the fact he specifcally told me to bring stuff to stay and go to work from his house. he basically diserted me.i wudnt have went to the party with him anyways cuz theyre all about 3,4,5 years older than me...but he let me walk at 2am to the taxi dep by myself aswell didnt come after me or anything.am i over reacting?i think weve split up since the things i said on the fone.i dont no whether to ring him or not.dont want to make the effort if it wasnt my fault.i always run after him whenever things happen.

And besides, although I will naturally get the "omgz!!12" neg rep for this comment, if you love him you should stop being so indifferent towards him. "Can't be arsed to make the effort, it wasn't my fault, he should come grovelling" - bloody hell.
He sounds awful to be honest. Letting you walk on your own at 2am? My boyfriend would never let me do that, even if we'd argued, and all of his mates and boys I know would never let a girl walk off on her own in the middle of the night, especially to a taxi rank 15 mins away. I would have been upset and angry too and I think you're in the right. He obviously doesn't have that much care or respect for you to treat you like that.
to be fair on him he was incredibly drunk.and to generalebriety im fed up running.i always go running when its clearly not my fault so this time im not going to i want him to prove he cares.so far hes txt me sayin he wants to forget about it.of course i love him!!if i didnt love him it wudnt b affecting me like this.were arent together anymore becase of this stupid fight but i really want to sort it out and work through it.as for uni im goin 2 defer a year to see if the relationship is worth anything thats all.im so confused!!
Reply 10
he sounds horrible, do not not go to uni for anyone. go!

and a relationship is about both parties compromising. looking at the circumstances, i'd say give him another chance, but be careful
i deferred a year partly for my boyfriend but we're not going to be together much longer, ive realised it isnt making me happy. Going to be a strange year now...single and that. ah well, who knows what'll happen. it can be a new start kinda thing. anyway basically i really dont know if deferring a year for him is a good idea, he sounds like an idiot, cannot believe he let u walk alone in the dark, it's really awful. but only you know best, just dont be blind in love
lollipopsticks
to be fair on him he was incredibly drunk.and to generalebriety im fed up running.i always go running when its clearly not my fault so this time im not going to i want him to prove he cares.so far hes txt me sayin he wants to forget about it.of course i love him!!if i didnt love him it wudnt b affecting me like this.were arent together anymore becase of this stupid fight but i really want to sort it out and work through it.as for uni im goin 2 defer a year to see if the relationship is worth anything thats all.im so confused!!

Ho hum. You really want to sort it out and you love him and you're deferring uni entry just to be with him and yet you have no intention of talking to him till he grovels? What ever happened to "unconditional love"?
but ive had some of the best times in my life with him.and i suppose im not goin just because of him.im not ready to move so far from home aswell.i think i wana give it another go.but according to close friends he exploits the fact i love him so much even tho he loves me too he takes advantage of the fact.i dont know how to put that straight
i have talked to him.i rang him about 3 times already including 6am this mornin to try and sort it out but i just wish he showed more enthusiasm to get me back
Just wondering, how old are you and he?
How bloody inconsiderate on his part, i'd ditch him, he obviously didn't care about you walking home alone, plenty of better guys than that who'd appreciate you, or at least tell him you will not stand for that again and that you will not be walked all over, and then i suppose if he does the same thing, then i'm afraid he is not boyfriend material.
Reply 17
He sounds awful. Drunk or not leaving telling you to go home and letting you walk off alone at that time is unacceptable. You're best of without him, as harsh as it sounds he obviously doesn't have much respect for you.
Reply 18
Your confused, ****ing hell im confused!!?

Whats the problem, theres an argument about nothing.
he went to a party and probably didnt want you to get jealous cos theres other girls there.

yep im confused.. drunk people do/say silly things

Louher said - leaving you to walk off alone at that time is unacceptable?

People leave me all the time! *CRY CRY*

Ye im all for equal rights, respect and those kinda things so just leave him if hes not treating you right.
im 18 and hes 23