Being a worry wart

I know this shouldn't have been anonymous but I know people on here so.. :confused:

I can't stop worrying. At any given time of the month/week/day, I make myself sick worrying about something or the other. Usually, these issues resolve themselves but worrying about them is such an unpleasant experience.

Most or some of my worries are about debates regarding choosing. I often have to choose between my friends and family. And this usually leads to unhappiness for me and everyone else. I'd like to see everyone happy and living in peace but that's too much to ask for because everyone's views conflict so much.

When I'm worrying about choosing, people tell me to take it easy because I can't make everyone happy. But it's hard not to.

I'm also really unhappy right now. I can't stop myself from crying (over stupid things) and when I worry, I can't sleep. The other day, I had around 2 hours of sleep before I got up and spent the whole night feeling sick and worrying about some issue that's currently bugging me. This has happened before.

I'd like to put my mind at ease so any help will be rewarded with rep (I don't have much of it, though).

Thanks

Reply 1

mrs fnerg

Well it seems to me that you know it's irrational to be worrying about stuff all the time, so that's a good thing. You know deep down that you don't have to worry about everything. Like you say you have to choose between your family and friends sometimes, well maybe you should talk to them and say how you feel? I'm sure if they knew how you felt and how much you were worrying, they would try their best not to put you in a position where you had to choose. But even if you do have to choose, has anything really bad happened? You need to put these decisions into perspective. I don't know what sort of decisions we are talking about, but surely they can't all be matters of life and death?

If you can't sleep then maybe you should try some relaxation techniques, like controlling your breathing, and there's another where you tense up different muscles and then release them while you breath out. Sometimes I try that if I'm stressed and it helps.

Overall, you really need to realise that you don't have to worry about pleasing everyone, cos it just isn't possible!

Reply 2

cat_meiow

1

I know exactly how you're feeling because I'm the same, over the last couple of weeks its been the worse and i have the breakdowns you explained. I even called up my boyfriend in the middle of the night the other day crying my eyes out because I couldn't handle it. I've even been to the doctors coz its got soo bad.

Anyways, last night i was in bed and decided to write in my diary that I haven't written in ages. I wrote down every little thing that was worrying me and when I finished I locked it up and put it away. I then thought to myself its in there and cant escape. So instead of having all the s**t in my head its in there and it actually worked. Last night I forced myself to think that way and I actually slept properly. This morning I woke up and started thinking about crap again and I wrote it in my diary and did the same. So far soo good.

Hope this is a useful suggestion but you just need to know that ur not the only 1 out there and if u need 2 talk there are people there to listen. If you dont want to talk to friends or family there is childline, samaritans etc or even me if you want to PM.

Hope things get sorted out soon.

Reply 3

i_feel_shiny

I know you want to please everyone but you honestly can't! I really learned that the hard way and like you I made myself sick over it but even more so. DON'T let it get to the point where it's seriously affecting your sleep and your health and hard as it may be to accept and selfish as you may feel you have to put yourself first, especially if you're stressing out like this!
You say it's to do with choosing between family and friends - both groups should love you unconditionally and should not put you through this much torment! I think you ought to talk to them and tell you how harshly this is affecting you before you really worry yourself sick.
If you don't want a big confrontation (which is understandable) then just try to take your mind off it. I usually read or play PS2 or cook or exercise - anything that requires almost complete concentration so you don't waste yourself away worrying.
It will get better I promise :smile:

Take up cannabis. ;}

you may have ANXIETY, see a doctor if its that bad

Reply 6

beach surf babe

14

Yeah, if its seriously interefering with your everyday life then its worth trying to get it sorted.

Also if your feeling pressures from family/friends then explain to them what the problem is and try and sort out a way of dealing with both. I like trying to make everyone happy but sometimes its not quite possible but then you can make it up another time. Its all about compromise and I think people will understand that.

Also try and get some more sleep if you can. If your tired cos your not getting enough sleep, things always seem to be a lot worse than they are. I'm a real monster when I'm tired!! :biggrin:

And if an issue is bugging you when your trying to sleep, write it down and then try and forget about it. Chances are whatever it is can wait and you might wake up the next morning and realise that it wasn't so bad! :smile:

Reply 7

chriswhit

1

Anonymous

I know this shouldn't have been anonymous but I know people on here so.. :confused:

I can't stop worrying. At any given time of the month/week/day, I make myself sick worrying about something or the other. Usually, these issues resolve themselves but worrying about them is such an unpleasant experience.

Most or some of my worries are about debates regarding choosing. I often have to choose between my friends and family. And this usually leads to unhappiness for me and everyone else. I'd like to see everyone happy and living in peace but that's too much to ask for because everyone's views conflict so much.

When I'm worrying about choosing, people tell me to take it easy because I can't make everyone happy. But it's hard not to.

I'm also really unhappy right now. I can't stop myself from crying (over stupid things) and when I worry, I can't sleep. The other day, I had around 2 hours of sleep before I got up and spent the whole night feeling sick and worrying about some issue that's currently bugging me. This has happened before.

I'd like to put my mind at ease so any help will be rewarded with rep (I don't have much of it, though).

Thanks

I know how you feel having been through feelings and times like this myself. I'll try and address each of the issues i thought the post you made raised.

Worrying in general

People often worry because they care, and I think the fact that they care is a good thing in many cases. That said, there comes a point where you have to put yourself first, particularly if health is affected. Without health you can't do anything so I think its important that you try and focus on yourself and getting better at the moment.

I think also trying to focus on stuff that you can do to help relax and get away from things might be good at the moment. Watch a film, go shopping, listen to music, stuff like that. Relaxation techniques also might be useful. For example, if I can't sleep at night, I imagine all the things that I am worried about just drifting away. I tell myself I can't deal with them now so whats the point.

This leads onto another issue, controlling the controllables. This is one of my favourite sayings. You can't do anything about the things you can't control so whats the point in worrying about them. Use energy efficiently and focus on the positive steps you can take to address things you can control. Don't add to the stress by worrying unduly about things you can't do anything about. This in turns leads on to the last point...

Friends v Family

Tough one. Without knowing the circumstances (understandable though that you might not want to broadcast them) its hard to know exactly what to say. At the risk of sounding hopelessly idealistic though, i'd say that if someone really does care for you, then they will understand the choices you will make. Maybe this will take a bit of time, but they will come round. For example, at the moment, I may not like my sisters boyfriend too much, but I have come to know he is a good person and my sister is happy so thats all that matters really. At the end of the day, you shouldn't be forced to choose and should hopefully be able to find a way around things that allows everyone to understand how you feel and keeps them fairly happy. Remember though to look after yourself too.

Sorry for the long post, I hope some of it is of use and good luck :smile:

x

Reply 8

cat_meiow

1

Thanks for the rep worry wart :smile:

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

I would definately consider seeing doctor about it. I assure you that its something perfectly normal, but you just need to learn how to cope with it.

If you start to think of something that worries you, try and ignore it as much as possible and do something to distract you from it.

Being a worry wart

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