A Strange Virginity Dilemma

Hey I'm female, 19 and still a virgin. But it's not going to be one of those threads that complain about that very fact.

I've had a few opportunities to loose it but always been too scared to go through with it. My boyfriend broke up with me a couple of weeks ago, though it was more of a mutual split. I regret not sleeping with him, as he was a guy that genuinely cared about me.

But now, I am sick to deaht of waiting around for that "special someone" to take it away. I've had to say no to quite a few guys that I've met on a night out and they've been absolutely gorgeous to say the least, only because of my moral principles - that I won't lose my virginity on a random pull.

I just feel as though I'm ready for sex. To be frank, I'm horny and extremely sexually frustrated. However, one of my best mates and me have been casually off and on as 'casual buddies' for years. But again I never slept with him. Do I now? Will I regret not waiting? The key problem is that do I wait around for that special someone that I never find and even then I'd have to wait months to find out if they WERE that special someone? Or do I have sex to cure my sexual frustration?

Any opinions guys would be much appreciated.

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Reply 1

Navajo

I understand, but sex aint that special.

Sure the first time would be good all by the book but as nike says "just do it"

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

What I'm essentially saying is, is do I lose it to cure my sexual frustration or wait? I'm not complaining at the fact I am a virgin and feel like a freak, it's simply that I have needs.

Reply 3

slk999

To be honest, it'll still be just as special when you have sex with someone you love. You just won't find it disappointing as the first time you have sex (anyone has sex come to think of it). I'd just give way to your frustrations.

Reply 4

lala_land

Personally i think that the first time should be with someone you love, if your ready now why not wait until your in a relationship then have sex? Although it's up to you really now that your ready atleast you know that you won't regret having not waited

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

Only thing is my casual buddy doesnt know I'm a virgin as I'm so frivolous! So he may not be as sympathetic.

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

i feel the exact same way...im 16 and well i want to wait for that special someone....but i want to have sex....im sexually frustrated.. and i feel ready..but i feel uneasy as to whether i should wait or do it?

Reply 7

History_is...

i dont know, i didnt wait, just did it because i wanted to "do it" not because of the person, and now i know better i realise my first time would have been better if it was with the right guy. wow that sounds sooo cliched! end of the day only you have to go ahead with your decision, just do what seems like a good idea at the time!

Reply 8

slk999

Anonymous

Only thing is my casual buddy doesnt know I'm a virgin as I'm so frivolous! So he may not be as sympathetic.

It really does depend on what the term 'virginity' means to you. If, like popular culture likes to make out, it's a sacred gift that you must treasure til you find someone good and right to give it to, then fine. But in my opinion, you're not 'giving' anything, or in fact losing anything. First time sex is usually pretty cr* p so giving vent to your frustrations and just experimenting can only be beneficial, because when you do find someone you love, the sex with them will be extra special.

Reply 9

lala_land

Anonymous

Think every sixteen yr old feels that way, just remember "Sex can wait, masturbate!"

Reply 10

bone-machine

just wait and get a vibrator in the mean time...that will probably give you more physical sexual pleasure then a meaningless guy and then when a 'special guy' comes you get to have the special mind blowing sex.

i say wait

Reply 11

Anonymous #3

I know I'm in the minority here, but I think it's better to get the awkward, embarrassing 'first time' over with so that when you find someone you really like, you'll know what you're doing and it won't hurt loads (speaking from a girl's point of view). I say do it now!

Reply 12

Wonderboy Blue

First time for a girl requires a little consideration, and to 'go slow'.

Guys you meet on a night out generally don't want to take time knowing you, let alone preparing you for sex. Unless perhaps you explain...but still they may rush it because a lot of guys are out for themselves.

If you do lose it on a night out, don't expect it to be anything earth moving, or even expect to orgasm. Expect pain and use protection.

My position (hehe) on this matter is to wait, get a regulary man in your life. In case you couldn't tell.

Reply 13

Anonymous #4

O great so all that every virgin has to look forward to is a load of pain on their first time? Fatastic................ lol

Reply 14

Helenia

Anonymous

O great so all that every virgin has to look forward to is a load of pain on their first time? Fatastic................ lol

Not at all. It may well hurt (for the girl) and probably won't be the best sex you ever had, but in my opinion, if you're with someone who cares about you (I'm not saying it has to be The One, but someone who you like a lot and who respects you) then it'll be all the more special that you shared something like that with them and that you trusted them with it. Plus they're more likely to treat you gently.

To the OP - if you want to have sex just to get rid of your frustration, I'd advise against it. The first time isn't likely to help out that much on that front, and some other people have already suggested other methods that might be more effective. :wink:

Reply 15

hippieglitter

Anonymous

What I'm essentially saying is, is do I lose it to cure my sexual frustration or wait? I'm not complaining at the fact I am a virgin and feel like a freak, it's simply that I have needs.

I'd say go for it, everyone wants there first time to be absolutely perfect, mine was less than perfect, Although i was with someone i really cared about, i was also in the back seat of a car. After you've got over the first time, you'll think, hey what was all the fuss about? Yeah its nice to lose it to someone you a care about but really, nowadays, its not a big deal, sex isn't all its cracked up to be.

Reply 16

Mark S

Helenia

To the OP - if you want to have sex just to get rid of your frustration, I'd advise against it. The first time isn't likely to help out that much on that front, and some other people have already suggested other methods that might be more effective. :wink:

Namely masturbation. And lots of it. God gave you a hand and fingers for a reason, use them wisely.

Reply 17

norelle

I think you have to know your own mind - if you're someone who easily regrets things, wait till you're with someone you love. If you don't believe in regrets, just go for it. But bear in mind that you can be in love with someone, think they're the greatest person in the world, and they can still turn out to be a complete arsehole in the long run.

Reply 18

freshestkid

hippieglitter

I'd say go for it, Yeah its nice to lose it to someone you a care about but really, nowadays, its not a big deal, sex isn't all its cracked up to be.

Ditto to what she said ( but with a deeper voice, cos im a bloke :biggrin:

)

Reply 19

doublex

Markus Angelsdaughter

God gave you a hand

I wouldn't want God giving me a hand. I don't doubt it'd feel great but I'm afraid he's still a bloke - deity or not.

I guess it's different for the ladies though.