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would you be turned off by someone who does not believe in sex before marriage?

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Reply 40
I would worry about him judging me for all the "sins" I've committed - if he is religious and if not then I would question why he wasn't finding me attractive enough to want to jump into bed with me. While physical intimacy isn't everything in a relationship, I find it is still extremely important in maintaining a healthy relationship.
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by limetang
Fundamentally this is rarely going to be an issue.

In the case of christianity the idea of no sex before marriage comes about because christians believe that marriage is the only place where sex belongs. Now we come down to what marriage is (in the mind of christianity). It isn't a simply nice ceremony where you get to publicly declare your love and dedication to one another. It is making vows before others and most importantly before God, it is believed to be the ordination of that relationship by God. So any logically consistent christian who doesn't believe in sex before marriage must also not believe in marriage with somebody who doesn't actually share that belief i.e. who isn't a christian.

And more fundamentally if we assume this is a decision made because of religious beliefs I think we must concede that the two people have very different ideas of what the nature of a romantic relationship, and what the nature of marriage are, and so really probably shouldn't be in a relationship with one another.


Non-religious people can also choose to wait.
Reply 42
Yes, it's not possible to have a relationship.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Well it'd be awkward if I was turned on by them wanting to wait.
Original post by joker12345
Non-religious people can also choose to wait.


Well yes that's true, but I was committing that egregious sin of generalising. It's accurate to say that MOST of the people who choose to wait until marriage are religious.
Original post by infairverona
Yes. If you don't have sex it's basically a very close, affectionate friendship. Not what I want from a relationship.


There is a lot more to a relationship then sex - if all that makes it a relationship rather than friendship is sex then you should look for better relationships!
Original post by Jebedee
You could turn that the other way though. Sex shows commitment/trust. So a girl holding out is waiting until she can trap a guy before he can find they're sexually incompatible and leave her amicably.

Posted from TSR Mobile


The people who 'hold out' usually wouldn't leave someone over sex - and anyway, sex isn't something you're either good at or not, a lot of it is about connection with your partner and how you respond to them, hence why it often gets better with time for people in relationships.
Original post by joker12345
There is a lot more to a relationship then sex - if all that makes it a relationship rather than friendship is sex then you should look for better relationships!


My relationship is amazing thanks. But sex is the key difference between a close affectionate friendship and a relationship, ultimately.
Original post by joker12345
The people who 'hold out' usually wouldn't leave someone over sex - and anyway, sex isn't something you're either good at or not, a lot of it is about connection with your partner and how you respond to them, hence why it often gets better with time for people in relationships.


No but they would leave someone over security, which is the female code word for money.
marriage is outdated
1.) I'm not even sure if I'm going to get married so that might be an issue.

2.) People who don't believe in sex before marriage are usually pretty religious. That's fine, but if they were to be obnoxious about it or try to convert me they'd be out on their ear.

3.) If I loved them, I'd try to make it work.
Original post by infairverona
My relationship is amazing thanks. But sex is the key difference between a close affectionate friendship and a relationship, ultimately.


If that really is all that makes it a relationship it really can't be that amazing. For me, being in a relationship entails a partner, someone who you share your life with - you don't have the same type of partnership with a friend. You have many friends at any given point but usually one partner (unless you're into polyamory which is a whole other thing). Things like holding hands, cuddling while you sleep etc are usually reserved for a partner. People in reltionships often go on dates, doing romantic things together one to one - friends often hang out in groups (although not always, but when meeting a partner there tends to be more of a need/want for alone time). Sex, or sexual intimacy, in a good relationship is just a part of the relationship - an important one maybe, but certainly if I spent time with a partner and didn't have sex it wouldn't seem like a friendship.
Original post by joker12345
If that really is all that makes it a relationship it really can't be that amazing. For me, being in a relationship entails a partner, someone who you share your life with - you don't have the same type of partnership with a friend. You have many friends at any given point but usually one partner (unless you're into polyamory which is a whole other thing). Things like holding hands, cuddling while you sleep etc are usually reserved for a partner. People in reltionships often go on dates, doing romantic things together one to one - friends often hang out in groups (although not always, but when meeting a partner there tends to be more of a need/want for alone time). Sex, or sexual intimacy, in a good relationship is just a part of the relationship - an important one maybe, but certainly if I spent time with a partner and didn't have sex it wouldn't seem like a friendship.


I really don't like or enjoy holding hands or cuddling when I'm asleep. It doesn't make my relationship any less valid in my opinion. But I feel sex is an important part of a relationship so for me, I wouldn't want a relationship without it.
Original post by infairverona
I really don't like or enjoy holding hands or cuddling when I'm asleep. It doesn't make my relationship any less valid in my opinion. But I feel sex is an important part of a relationship so for me, I wouldn't want a relationship without it.


Those were examples, read the beginning of my post re partnership. Sure, I get that - I was simply disagreeing that a relationship without sex is a friendship.
Original post by joker12345
Those were examples, read the beginning of my post re partnership. Sure, I get that - I was simply disagreeing that a relationship without sex is a friendship.


Fair enough but I maintain my opinion, lots of friendships are affectionate so for me without the sexual element it's just a close friendship.
Original post by joker12345
If that really is all that makes it a relationship it really can't be that amazing. For me, being in a relationship entails a partner, someone who you share your life with - you don't have the same type of partnership with a friend. You have many friends at any given point but usually one partner (unless you're into polyamory which is a whole other thing). Things like holding hands, cuddling while you sleep etc are usually reserved for a partner. People in reltionships often go on dates, doing romantic things together one to one - friends often hang out in groups (although not always, but when meeting a partner there tends to be more of a need/want for alone time). Sex, or sexual intimacy, in a good relationship is just a part of the relationship - an important one maybe, but certainly if I spent time with a partner and didn't have sex it wouldn't seem like a friendship.


I cuddle with female friends of mine. But then I guess I also have sex with some of them so I'm not sure that's really relevant.


Posted from TSR Mobile
Absolutely not.
Those are the type of women you pick to be the mother of your children.
They make the best housewives.
Dating western women >>>>>>>>>>
Marrying illiterate,religious virgins from back home that worship the ground you walk on >>>>>>>
(edited 9 years ago)
Yes

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