Why is having sex immoral?

People like to say how they are not having sex for moral reason.

What exactly is moral about not having sex, and immoral about having it?

I think it's literally the fact that sex has been a taboo thing since basically the beginning of civilisation (and is becoming less taboo as we've become less civilised :P ). When human beings upped their game from being hunter-gatherers I guess a big part of that was not walking around effectively naked and mating like animals do. A sense of 'dignity' was imbued by keeping sex a closed affair. Then as societies developped this subterfuge about sex would have become more intense to create more 'respectable' societies. I think it's all a question of societal status, the sense of shame but also as a separate point maintaining a family unit without having casual sex beforehand to create a more successful social structuring in society and in people's personal lives.

Having said all that people especially in our society are a lot more free thinking and we're starting to question traditions and social conventions that we have for no other reason than to revoke shame and uphold a name - because really having social status isn't that important, it's more important we are true to ourselves. I think it's interesting that different people conduct different sexual habits - some enjoy a sexually varied life others just want one life partner. It makes the world more varied and it means people are free to follow their chosen path. I wouldn't say the act of having sex is 'immoral' just a personal choice. Then again there are always the narrow-minded who will proclaim that their way is the best way or shun people (namely women) for being sexually promiscuous.

I can't think of any culture or religion where sex is viewed as being immoral. Without it no people would have come into this world. Casual sex, promiscuous sex, and sex outside of marriage, however, are.

I can't think of any culture or religion where sex is viewed as being immoral. Without it no people would have come into this world. Casual sex, promiscuous sex, and sex outside of marriage, however, are.

When people start to use words like 'purity', 'innocence', 'vulnerability', etc. I don't really know what they mean. I can't instantly understand what they are actually looking for or what is desirable in that.

I can sort of understand that you're placing a lot of trust in exposing your vulnerability to that person so it is validating, but I think sex often has an element of vulnerability regardless of how sexually experienced you are.

The only justification I can think of for casual sex being immoral is that you're likely not going to have a very high regard for the other party, who may be a lot more emotionally involved than you, or think the arrangement is a lot more serious than you think it is. It's pursuing pleasure in a very risky manner that could leave somebody else feeling very complex and negative emotions(shame, rejection, etc.).

What's bad about sex before marriage? I think it's more an opposition to having multiple sexual partners even if they were all exclusive because you're going to cause insecurity for the other party/possible feelings of inadequacy/etc.

When people start to use words like 'purity', 'innocence', 'vulnerability', etc. I don't really know what they mean. I can't instantly understand what they are actually looking for or what is desirable in that.

I can sort of understand that you're placing a lot of trust in exposing your vulnerability to that person so it is validating, but I think sex often has an element of vulnerability regardless of how sexually experienced you are.

Yeah I've heard it said that if a girl isn't slightly vulnerable then there's no point. It's like a girl being vulnerable would give her partner a sense of power and protection over her, almost opening the way for her emotional control. I agree it is a pretty dark thought. Enlightening post.

But this could be said to every relationship ever, from marriages to business relationships.



But at the same time, to be more experienced first guarantee a better sex life and a better relationship as a result. The same goes to having dated more people would make you more mature about having a relationship.



Those people want to dominate other people. If someone is innocent, it means s/he can be easily manipulated.



The vulnerability comes with the emotional attachment, not physical action.

Yeah I've heard it said that if a girl isn't slightly vulnerable then there's no point. It's like a girl being vulnerable would give her partner a sense of power and protection over her, almost opening the way for her emotional control. I agree it is a pretty dark thought. Enlightening post.

I'm not saying I agree with it. That is just me trying to rationalise in my mind the thought process of the people who hold such views. I think for the most part the criticisms you've made are quite valid.

That's worrying to me that people say that. I haven't had the opportunity to talk to men in a frank context about this subject very often. I like to think that people who value vulnerability to that extent are a small minority. But I really wouldn't know, since the subject doesn't come up often in conversation.

Those people want to dominate other people. If someone is innocent, it means s/he can be easily manipulated.

Agreed, definitely like to think these men are in a minority. I think nowadays say 30% of men might have a preference for a virgin but their reasons are hopefully not as sinister as wanting to have emotional control over them. I think those who don't have a preference for a virgin are in the majority now as most young women are sexually active and it's unlikely if you're dating someone say early or mid-20s that they're going to be a virgin. It's a preference they can't afford to have and of course many do not even desire, which is reassuring.

However I must admit I think the ways a lot of guys percieve relationships and their role in them are very different to the way girls do; men are from mars, women are from venus as they say. I wouldn't be surprised if there are a lot of sinister truths hidden in the way guys percieve their girlfriends despite objections that not all men want to play around or led astray (I think those are in a very small minority). I think the modern young woman has had to adapt her expectations of what is in a relationship due to uncovering the different perspective men seem to have on relationships. I reckon that's why a lot of young women are promiscuous - they think, well if people aren't commiting to me and playing the field, why should I commit to anyone. Off-subject I know!

I just had a thought that innocence calls for protection and intervention. Feeling relied on or needed for protection could make an insecure (not necessarily manipulative) male feel more sure of their partner and less fearful of betrayal. Either way that doesn't sound too healthy lol and obviously neither does the manipulation thing

I just had a thought that innocence calls for protection and intervention. Feeling relied on or needed for protection could make an insecure (not necessarily manipulative) male feel more sure of their partner and less fearful of betrayal. Either way that doesn't sound too healthy lol and obviously neither does the manipulation thing

I don't know... Maybe something called STDs warns people not to be promiscuous? However, sex itself isn't viewed as immoral I don't think, unless we are talking about monks etc. and apparently they must remain 'pure'

I can't think of any culture or religion where sex is viewed as being immoral. Without it no people would have come into this world. Casual sex, promiscuous sex, and sex outside of marriage, however, are.

Catholicism doesn't teach that sex is immoral, and Catholics who aren't priests can have sex.

I consider having casual sex immoral because I believe that it should be done only between married couples.

Firstly, because it makes marriage necessary.

Marriage is the unit that holds society together, and if marriage were destroyed society would fall apart.

Having pre/extra marital affairs makes marriage redundant and pointless; to many people it has become a mere 'piece of paper'. The original definition of marriage tied with sex. To 'consummate a marriage' is to have sex with a person.

The implications of marriage losing significance include shorter, more fleeting relationships, single parent-hood and a smaller support structure for children, family ties partially disappearing, and a greater dependence on the state.

Back to why pre/extra marital sex is wrong. In a non-marital relationship, it would be impossible to tell whether your partner was with you because they genuinely loved you, or if they said they did just to get laid.

It's not even possible (particularly for women) to ensure your partner has the remotest respect for you, based on the way guys describe women they've been with in forums like 4chan, or those bodybuilding forums. Making marriage a prerequisite to sex goes a long way to ensuring that both partners are on an equal footing, are equally committed towards each other.

Third, people are more likely to cheat in a society where you could have sex outside of marriage, because you'd be able to find people you could cheat with more easily.

Fourth, people have an innate sense of self-worth. Being with someone who ends up leaving you destroys that, as you feel used and abandoned. For people who only have sex within marriage, this would only happen once in a lifetime on average, when they get divorced. It would happen many, many more times for people who have sex without.

Fifth, I'd want to be with someone who doesn't have a lot of baggage from past exes and who isn't constantly thinking about what life would be like on the other side of the fence. I'd never find the stability I need if so. So preferably, I'd have them to have only ever been with me. It would also make me feel jealous to think that they've loved so many other people in the same way they love me.

A final, and slightly more abstract reason. Sexual relations are too special to be shared with anyone. People slowly become desensitized to things that are thrown about and shared freely, and this makes them lose their value. This applies not just to people for whom sex is a hobby, but to people who dress, sing, and act provocatively, you know like those celebrities in the media. Beyonce, Rihanna, and Miley have all made several videos each of themselves twerking and upload regular photos of themselves naked on social networking sites but nobody seems impressed anymore nor find them attractive. Miley is not going to ever make any guy feel special.