I can't figure out my sexuality Watch

pattterson
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I am not really looking for someone to tell me who I am and what I like, I just want to put all this out there in hopes that it will alleviate some of my confusion. So, first off, I am an 18 year old guy. Since I was young, I have had fixations on male T.V. characters expressing confidence and possessing attractive features. Nothing really had come from it. I was young, I just thought that was what it was like to look up to a cool person.

Fast forward a few years, i became very confused with who I was. I began dating a girl that, to keep it short, was beautiful. I loved everything about Annabelle. Her blonde hair, he shimmering and vibrant eyes, her smile, I could go on. I wanted to be just like her. She seemed to have everything going for her. The only thing about this relationship is I never felt anything sexual towards her. Of course I felt a physical attraction but never really fantasized "going to bed" with her. One night, while sitting on the dock chatting, we decided to have our first kiss. That was a disaster, both of us being kissing virgins and all. Like all young relationships, this one didn't last. Looking back to our relationship, I loved being with her.

Fast forward a few more years and I find myself at a summer camp. This is where Max comes in. I never thought I would feel this way about a guy. We never once told the other how we felt, we just knew. His spiked hair, stunning toned body, the nice solid butt; he was the perfect boy. Every night we would choose one of our hotel rooms to go to. We would lay down, sprawled out on the bed and talk for hours while holding eachother in our arms. Though we didn't keep contact after camp, he opened my eyes to how I may feel about men.

It has now been about three years since I have been in a meaningful relationship but I still have very specific feelings towards both sexs. I love to get smiles from the cute boys in the hallway. Although I am sexually attracted to men, I also feel a very strong attraction to women. I find myself staring off, fixated on a girl in my class. We have become pretty good friends although I wish it would progress farther. I am 100% sure she has friend-zoned me. Whenever we have a problem, we go straight to each other and talk it out. She has even asked me if I would allow her to do my make-up, nails and dress me up before. Whether I liked it or not is for another post that I could do if you want but that is not the issue here. all in all I guess I have had different feelings towards both boys and girls.

I think from all my relationship experience I have come to the conclusion that I can see myself easily having sexual relations with another guy but find it hard to have a relationship with another man and that I have troubles seeing myself having a sexual relationship with a girl but full heartedly welcome going with a girl. To me this seems very complicated so I was wondering if anyone has any of the same experiences. I want to know if anyone has any advice, thoughts, or general comments. I guess, even after knowing all this about me, I don't know what I can do.
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alow
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Stop trying to needlessly label everything.


(Original post by AlphaNick)
I'm straight and I can tell you we all have gay moments just out of intrigue, but it doesn't mean we're homosexual.
Straight guys don't see themselves 'easily having sexual relations with another guy'.
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émiliemilia
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(Original post by pattterson)
I am not really looking for someone to tell me who I am and what I like, I just want to put all this out there in hopes that it will alleviate some of my confusion. So, first off, I am an 18 year old guy. Since I was young, I have had fixations on male T.V. characters expressing confidence and possessing attractive features. Nothing really had come from it. I was young, I just thought that was what it was like to look up to a cool person.

Fast forward a few years, i became very confused with who I was. I began dating a girl that, to keep it short, was beautiful. I loved everything about Annabelle. Her blonde hair, he shimmering and vibrant eyes, her smile, I could go on. I wanted to be just like her. She seemed to have everything going for her. The only thing about this relationship is I never felt anything sexual towards her. Of course I felt a physical attraction but never really fantasized "going to bed" with her. One night, while sitting on the dock chatting, we decided to have our first kiss. That was a disaster, both of us being kissing virgins and all. Like all young relationships, this one didn't last. Looking back to our relationship, I loved being with her.

Fast forward a few more years and I find myself at a summer camp. This is where Max comes in. I never thought I would feel this way about a guy. We never once told the other how we felt, we just knew. His spiked hair, stunning toned body, the nice solid butt; he was the perfect boy. Every night we would choose one of our hotel rooms to go to. We would lay down, sprawled out on the bed and talk for hours while holding eachother in our arms. Though we didn't keep contact after camp, he opened my eyes to how I may feel about men.

It has now been about three years since I have been in a meaningful relationship but I still have very specific feelings towards both sexs. I love to get smiles from the cute boys in the hallway. Although I am sexually attracted to men, I also feel a very strong attraction to women. I find myself staring off, fixated on a girl in my class. We have become pretty good friends although I wish it would progress farther. I am 100% sure she has friend-zoned me. Whenever we have a problem, we go straight to each other and talk it out. She has even asked me if I would allow her to do my make-up, nails and dress me up before. Whether I liked it or not is for another post that I could do if you want but that is not the issue here. all in all I guess I have had different feelings towards both boys and girls.

I think from all my relationship experience I have come to the conclusion that I can see myself easily having sexual relations with another guy but find it hard to have a relationship with another man and that I have troubles seeing myself having a sexual relationship with a girl but full heartedly welcome going with a girl. To me this seems very complicated so I was wondering if anyone has any of the same experiences. I want to know if anyone has any advice, thoughts, or general comments. I guess, even after knowing all this about me, I don't know what I can do.
I think it's fairly normal that a lot of people feel uncertain about their sexuality, if I'm honest I think the bwsr possible thug for you right now is to not wonder what "sexuality" you are but just follow your heart and be with whoever makes you happy, be it a man or a woman. It seems you have more of a lust/ sexual attraction for men and a love/ adoration for women, so I guess you have to decide which emotion is more important to your relationship and then you might find your answer.


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émiliemilia
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*best possible thing


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Rxamphetamine
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What do you find yourself looking at during happy hour? There's your answer
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Anonymous #1
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I am so glad I read your post, I am in a similar situation as you, I thought I was the only one, I couldn't even explain what was going on with me, untill I read your post.
Well, the difference between us is that I am a girl and I think I am sexually attracted to men but psihically attracted to women.

I am 18 as well, I guess it is around this age where we put these kind of "question"...
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Anonymοοse
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Okay, so you're attracted to men sexually but you'd rather form a lasting relationship with a girl emotionally?

Sounds like you're a heteroromantic homosexual, but seriously you don't need to label yourself as anything, just go with the flow
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Treeroy
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You might be bisexual?

Essentially, there are two elements to attraction: romantic attraction and sexual attraction.
If you're either sexually or romantically attracted to both sexes, then that means you are bisexual (yes, there are things like pansexual etc but still).

So for you: you sound sexually attracted to men and romantically attracted to women, but not the other way around - this would make you bi. This could make relationships with either gender hard, but you are what you are I guess.

Anyway, feel free to PM me if you want to ask anything. Sexuality is really confusing and it took me a long time to understand who I am (and I'm still not quite there yet).
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Anonymοοse
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I am so glad I read your post, I am in a similar situation as you, I thought I was the only one, I couldn't even explain what was going on with me, untill I read your post.
Well, the difference between us is that I am a girl and I think I am sexually attracted to men but psihically attracted to women.

I am 18 as well, I guess it is around this age where we put these kind of "question"...
You might be a homoromantic heterosexual
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GoldGhost
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(Original post by Anonymοοse)
You might be a homoromantic heterosexual
That's what I was thinking, but I couldn't remember the actual term.
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Skip_Snip
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Sleep with a guy and see if you like it.
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Anonymous #2
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Have you ever considered being a bi-romantic homosexual? I'm a bi-romantic lesbian and I never heard of this before until my best friend mentioned it when I was rambling on about my sexual identity crisis.
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