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Looks - more important then personality?
I have found that since bulking up. women are more inclined to talk to me, show attention etc. Yes I guess I am looking much better in my clothes, as they fit better, generally filled up and look healthier. I don't make much effort talking to women now, as I used to. It deeply saddens me, that I had to goto such extremes just to get what I wanted back then. Why couldn't women like me for who I was back then?
I am now under the illusion that without looking good, you have no chance with a girl unless of course, all you want is a friendship. In the past they would say to me "ohhh hes a nice guy, good personality", but now its more like "he's sexy with a good personality" - and will actively make more of an effort to talk to me, pull me etc.
In conclusion, I feel as though personality is secondery to looks. I know that this is deeply subjective, which is why I am very very interested on what others have to say.
I am now under the illusion that without looking good, you have no chance with a girl unless of course, all you want is a friendship. In the past they would say to me "ohhh hes a nice guy, good personality", but now its more like "he's sexy with a good personality" - and will actively make more of an effort to talk to me, pull me etc.
In conclusion, I feel as though personality is secondery to looks. I know that this is deeply subjective, which is why I am very very interested on what others have to say.
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Reply 2
I'd rather have little attention with women who like me for my personailty than my arms.
well someone is first attracted to someone through there looks.... so you could almost say at the start it is most important and then if they will get too no you and your personality.
but also someone could be attracted to your personality and then the persons looks would grow on them!
ok i'm confused!!!
but also someone could be attracted to your personality and then the persons looks would grow on them!
ok i'm confused!!! Reply 4
Sithius
It's sad but if you are pretty ugly then 9/10ths (if not higher) of girls won't give you the time of day.
That's life I'm afraid.
That's life I'm afraid.
This is it though, I cannot obviously be 'ugly', if I am attracting women now.
I guess, women didnt appreciate it that much back then , as I was a bit of a beanpole. Tall and lanky.
Reply 6
Revelation
I'd rather have little attention with women who like me for my personailty than my arms.
Fair enoughl But a man gets lonely.
Back then I would get so depressed, because I would feel as though I was not worth of anyone, so I just concentrated on myself physically and bang this starts happening?
Yes, I enjoy the attention I am recieving, but it saddens me for the reasons I have stated above. Rather then seeing an individual who is not perfect as a 'diamond in the rough', it seems as though most women want the 'diamond'. (As do most guys - not true in my case though)
Reply 7
lilac!!
no, personality is way better, looks may come and go but if you have a good personality you rock!!
No I agree, a good personality is important. As to maintain a relationship you have to have one.
But what does annoy me a bit, is most women would overlook a guy if hes physically not 'there'. I mean, I just don't know for example if my gf would have been interested in me, if I was a skinny bean pole; looking a bit whimpish 9 months ago. But for sure, loads of girls were not interested in me back then.
Reply 9
Ok here's what I think. These girls that have started talking to you..I'm guessing they don't know you at all. So what happens is they see you and decide they like what they see (to some girls muscles are attractive, to some maybe not!) So firstly they are attracted to you physically (you say yourself u feel more attractive nowadays) However, this doesnt necessarily make girls shallow I dont think. From past experience however much you like someone for their personality you have to be attracted to them physically as well or iot just doesnt work. Anyway, these girls dont KNOW you so they cant be attrcated to you through personality straight away, firstly it's physically and THEN they can get to know you whatever. It may be then that personality becomes more important. However, it can work both ways. An old friend may suddenly think she's attracted to you, but that doesnt mean she's putting looks first-just that she became attracted to you through you personality. Both things are important, a relationship will NOT work without both things. The girls you are calling shallow are not in my opinion shallow, they're just people who like what they see and hope to find a personality to match. Shallow people are the ones who get to know someone and still would never ever consider going out with a guy/girl because of their reputation or what they look like. Would you approach a random girl that you didnt find attractive?
so_this_is_sam
Ok here's what I think. These girls that have started talking to you..I'm guessing they don't know you at all. So what happens is they see you and decide they like what they see (to some girls muscles are attractive, to some maybe not!) So firstly they are attracted to you physically (you say yourself u feel more attractive nowadays) However, this doesnt necessarily make girls shallow I dont think. From past experience however much you like someone for their personality you have to be attracted to them physically as well or iot just doesnt work. Anyway, these girls dont KNOW you so they cant be attrcated to you through personality straight away, firstly it's physically and THEN they can get to know you whatever. It may be then that personality becomes more important. However, it can work both ways. An old friend may suddenly think she's attracted to you, but that doesnt mean she's putting looks first-just that she became attracted to you through you personality. Both things are important, a relationship will NOT work without both things. The girls you are calling shallow are not in my opinion shallow, they're just people who like what they see and hope to find a personality to match. Shallow people are the ones who get to know someone and still would never ever consider going out with a guy/girl because of their reputation or what they look like. Would you approach a random girl that you didnt find attractive?
Anonymous
No I agree, a good personality is important. As to maintain a relationship you have to have one.
But what does annoy me a bit, is most women would overlook a guy if hes physically not 'there'. I mean, I just don't know for example if my gf would have been interested in me, if I was a skinny bean pole; looking a bit whimpish 9 months ago. But for sure, loads of girls were not interested in me back then.
But what does annoy me a bit, is most women would overlook a guy if hes physically not 'there'. I mean, I just don't know for example if my gf would have been interested in me, if I was a skinny bean pole; looking a bit whimpish 9 months ago. But for sure, loads of girls were not interested in me back then.
No thats not entirly true!! i don't over looks guys just because they are physiaclly strong,
its true that many people might do but once they get to know you they will like youReply 12
Well boohoohoo, its not just girls you know. I doubt you ever get talking to an "ugly" girl with the intention of wanting to get with them. Better looking = more attractive = more chance of a partner. Its the same with personality = more attractive = more chance of a partner, you need one or the other (or money ) but having them all is best.
) but having them all is best.Reply 13
For teenage relationships it is 90% looks and 10% personality.
Reply 14
"Anyway, these girls dont KNOW you so they cant be attrcated to you through personality straight away, firstly it's physically and THEN they can get to know you whatever."
But come on in all seriousness my face does not look THAT MUCH different. Why now , and not then? If anything, my body is just got much more meat on it, I am looking very proportioned for my height , I am 6 ft 4.
These girls that have started talking to you..I'm guessing they don't know you at all.
Probably not. You are right in that respect.....But it makes you wonder when you go from having zero female attention to loads of female attention (after you have bulked up), why I am getting it now and not then? I met just as many girls back then, then I do now....
I have fancied girls that you wouldn't consider attrative, like really geeky girls, because they dont make too much effort, and are simple (but I know if they did, they would be just as hot as one that does). It reminds me of what I once was.
I call these girls shallow, because I had to goto such lengths just to get attention - that is irritating.
Reply 15
What you have to remember is that when women are talking they (subconsciously) rank potential things to say in this order:
1) Being socially acceptable/gaining social ground versus peers.
2) Being nice.
3) The truth.
Now, lots of women really like muscular, lean men. Not hyper-muscular, but nicely toned and built, certainly. But they wont say this out loud because:
1) It makes them look a bit slutty/obsessed with shallow things.
2) If they don't have great bodies themselves it can appear hypocritical.
3) It might cause offense to someone.
Thus it is something that has the potential to damage them socially. A no-no!
'I like a man for his personality' is the safe answer, because:
1) It makes them look deep.
2) They don't appear to be hypocrits.
3) It won't cause offense (who *doesn't* think they have a good personality?)
Women are really are a lot like men deep down- they're just very, very good at hiding it because they are socially aware to an extent that most men aren't.
1) Being socially acceptable/gaining social ground versus peers.
2) Being nice.
3) The truth.
Now, lots of women really like muscular, lean men. Not hyper-muscular, but nicely toned and built, certainly. But they wont say this out loud because:
1) It makes them look a bit slutty/obsessed with shallow things.
2) If they don't have great bodies themselves it can appear hypocritical.
3) It might cause offense to someone.
Thus it is something that has the potential to damage them socially. A no-no!
'I like a man for his personality' is the safe answer, because:
1) It makes them look deep.
2) They don't appear to be hypocrits.
3) It won't cause offense (who *doesn't* think they have a good personality?)
Women are really are a lot like men deep down- they're just very, very good at hiding it because they are socially aware to an extent that most men aren't.
Reply 16
in a club yes looks are more important than personality. People want to 'get wid' the best looking person etc.
Also I would say in general life looks are more important at first then personality over time becomes more important. You need to be attracted to someone to want them imo.
I know this sounds shallow but I would probably have problems going out with an ugly/fat girl even if she had a great personality and I know i am not the only guy who thinks this because if i wasnt alot of fat girls would have bfs'
Also I would say in general life looks are more important at first then personality over time becomes more important. You need to be attracted to someone to want them imo.
I know this sounds shallow but I would probably have problems going out with an ugly/fat girl even if she had a great personality and I know i am not the only guy who thinks this because if i wasnt alot of fat girls would have bfs'
Reply 18
Confuscious says : Women are complex creatures, but well worth the effort.
Reply 19
Sithius
I love how girls witter on about how they need a tall partner for protection but when it comes down to muscles they don't want as much, hence less protection.
Always gets me that one.
Always gets me that one.
True, tall doesn't equal strong
Tallness is supposed to represent good genes, so a female may be attracted to this. However muscularity indicates high testosterone level which whilst making men more attractive and sexually potent(theoretically), also tends to make them more agressive, promiscious, perhaps less caring etc. which women may not like.
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