Should I tell her I cheated

Sorry bout the long post...

So,

I have a girlfriend. She's leaving school at the end of summer so we planned to break up.

Anyway, I hadn't talked to her much over the summer but basically we left it that we were gonna meet up after we'd both been on (separate) holidays. Now, the holiday in question, for me, was rather a piss up.

Having an awesome time going out with my mates I felt that the half broken up situation I was in with my girlfriend was futile, and that if we really loved each other we'd have wanted to try to long distance it etc.

So, I couldn't talk to her about this because her phone wasn't working abroad. Net result was I went out and, exceptionally pissed, got with a couple of girls. I feel really bad because I couldn't talk to her about it first.

Anyway, now, I have a few options.

Tell her - she takes it badly, we never see each other again.

Tell her, she takes it well (unlikely, however futile our relationship was), meet up with her for one last time, maybe even just as friends.

Don't tell her - meet up with her, have an okay time, (even as friends or woteva), she might find out later and then be hurt (bad)

Don't tell her - blank her calls, shut her from my life, and run away from the problem...

In my opinion our relationship was going to end anyhow, it's just sad it has to end badly.

Take home message: never 'plan' to break up with someone... either do it, or stay faithful...

Your advice is appreciated... pick the best option or come up with your own I really have no idea what to do...

My conscience says I should tell her, but it would just be so much easier not to...

O dear

Reply 1

pumpkin7

13

honesty is the best policy.

do not run away like a coward. tell her. it won't play on your mind forever then.
and your 'take home' message rings true. at least you have that hammered into your brain.

Reply 2

Sazarina88

11

It doesn't matter that you were going to break up anyway, you still cheated.

I think you should tell her, even if she takes it badly it's better for you AND her.

You: won't be on your mind whenever you see her.
Her: although it may hurt, she can get over it now rather than finding out about it later on.

Sarah xx

Reply 3

generalebriety

16

Do not run away from her and leave her not knowing why. That's all I'll say.

Reply 4

fluuux

Whatever you do don't just run away from it. I think telling her would be the best option however its not always the easiest.

Reply 5

Happy1

14

i think youre going to lose her either way... so just tell her. If you dont, she'll find out, and you'll be branded a liar as well as a cheat.

Reply 6

wendizzle22

1

Tell her, and just break up earlier than planned.

Reply 7

Sithius

16

Anonymous

Sorry bout the long post...

So,

I have a girlfriend. She's leaving school at the end of summer so we planned to break up.

Says it all tbh.

Reply 8

lou p lou

2

tbh, if you're going to break up with her anyway you should just do it... if she questions why you're doing it earlier, just tell her you don't like waiting for it because that just seems silly... i don't really see the point in telling her about the other girls- and how would she find out anyway?

i know this goes against what everyone else is saying- and usually i would advice honesty, but your relationship had no future anyway so i don't see how you've made it worse

lou xxx

Reply 9

cinder

10

She deserves to know.

Reply 10

laa_86

Tell her, its better she hears it from you now than someone else in the future

Reply 11

Fleece

15

Anonymous

Tell her - she takes it badly, we never see each other again.

Don't tell her - blank her calls, shut her from my life, and run away from the problem...

The outcome of these is pretty much the same, but at least with the first she'll have some indication as to WHY you're blanking her calls etc. If she's shut from your life without a reason then it's extremely unfair on her - she'll be forever questioning why.

Just do the decent thing and tell her. If she doesn't speak to you then fine, you were planning to do that in the last scenario anyway.

Reply 12

username47781

20

Honestly if your gonna break up why wait till she leaves, its only gonna make things worse and just prolongs the agony, you might as well tell her, but she'll dump you anyway probably.

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

what can i say, i love the pussy!!

Reply 14

scruffs

1

Tell her. If not it will come back and bite you on the ass. Even if she never finds out, it sounds like you have quite a conscience about it that might not be abated otherwise. Just take some time out and think about how to tell her- it'll hurt any way, but depending on how you say it the blow can be softened.

Reply 15

milton

1

If you tell her your conscience will be clear, yes it was a horrible thing to do (no offence) but I believe everything happens for a reason and although it'll sting for a while everything will work out for the best.

Good luck

Reply 16

Fleece

15

mtscales

what can i say, i love the pussy!!

Cos you don't sound like an ass. ^o)

On second thoughts, just don't speak to her again. Do her that BIG favour. Idiot.

Reply 17

Nick R

10

Fleece

The outcome of these is pretty much the same, but at least with the first she'll have some indication as to WHY you're blanking her calls etc. If she's shut from your life without a reason then it's extremely unfair on her - she'll be forever questioning why.

Just do the decent thing and tell her. If she doesn't speak to you then fine, you were planning to do that in the last scenario anyway.

Agreed.

Listen mate - A real guy will just tell her. It will build character. If you feel genuinly bad about it, you won't do it again. Trust me.

The phrase once a cheater, always a cheater is bull.

Cheaters either do it once, or they are serial cheaters.