Is introversion an unnattractive trait in guys ?

Hey guys thanks for sparing the time to read this.

Basically i'd consider myself an introvert , I only truly accepted this a year or two back . Before then I would fake being sociable and enjoying the company of some truly mind numbing people because I assumed thats what everyone did and didn't want to be percieved as a loner - probably one of the most stigmatized groups in society.

After a year I broke off alot of fake friendships and boy did I feel relieved , I do have friends now don't get me wrong but I'm not always with them and no longer feel wierd to do things on my own , it feels awesome.

I've done things like gone cinema on my own , go for walks on my own , sometimes I just sit in the park on my own and I regularly study in the coffee shop on my own and I see nothing wrong with it . I find it irritating that people always assume you have to do everything with someone

"Im just going to the coffee shop to get some work done"

"Who with"

I find the very fact this question has to be asked quite pathetic tbh , I was born alone , I shall die alone , I **** alone and I piss alone . I do alot of ****ing things alone and there is nothing with wrong with that.

Anyway I just had to get that off my chest.

Is the fact that I'm not always with my friends something a girl might perceive as weird
and a potential bad signal ?

I have a crush on this girl and I think theres chemistry there but outside of lessons she is always with this group whereas im almost always alone studying here , off walking there etc (im not purposelly avoiding anyone its just my friends don't share my timetable) . Do you think she is going to think im a loner ?

I know for some people having a boyfriend who has a large social circle is a must and actually an attractive trait , quite wierd imo but yh.

Also given that im 18 - an age where id say the majority of teens who fall under this age are sheep incapable of making their own decisions and go along with shallow and stupid ways of thinking . - is this going to be more significant ?

I think adults are much more accepting of this but teens are just stupid . ( I know alot of people are probably going to say no on here , but the average person on TSR is probably a bit more intelligent then the average person I encounter tbh)

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

Georgie_M

She might have more of a problem with your attitude than your lack of friends IMO

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Original post by Georgie_M

She might have more of a problem with your attitude than your lack of friends IMO

What attitude ? The fact that i'm an independent young man who doesn't thrive off the attention of others ? The fact that i'm not frightened of being alone ?

It's not that I lack friends , I have a circle of friends who I have shared great life experiences with . It's just unlike alot of people I seem to come across , I don't force friendships with people I don't like or don't have similar mindsets , i'd rather be the loneliest man in the world than a man with a thousand fake friends pretending to be someone he isn't.

Rather than making a failed attempt at a witty insult would you like to contribute to the thread ?

Reply 3

Doob

you may be introveted but introverts are still able to have have social skills, you do know the 2 arent mutually exlcusive right?

'sheep incapable of making their own decisions and go along with shallow and stupid ways of thinking' might want to stop with your dogmatic thinking, people pick up on this negavtive attitude very easily. theres no point wallowing in self-pity, it will achieve you nothing, its your decision to put yourself out there, NOBODY owes you anything, so you might want to stop with blaming others for your own shortcomings, and accept that 'if you cant see the problem, you are part of the problem'

hope that helps

Reply 4

Georgie_M

Original post by Anonymous

That was a valid contribution, I myself am an introvert so I understand some of your frustrations however some of your comments regarding others were incredibly rude and judgmental. This suggested to myself you have an attitude problem, just because you like time to yourself does not mean you have to hate everyone or look down on them. You were incredibly patronising and self-righteous, get off your soap box 50% (ish) of the population are introverts.

Reply 5

455409

Original post by Anonymous

Also given that im 18 - an age where id say the majority of teens who fall under this age are sheep incapable of making their own decisions and go along with shallow and stupid ways of thinking . - is this going to be more significant ?

Attitude issues.

Reply 6

Bassetts

Didn't read the OP, but to answer the question, yes it definitely is (this is speaking from experience as an introverted guy myself).

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by Doob

Did I say anywhere that I lack social skills ?
Did I say that i'm wallowing in self pity ?
I have no shortcomings to blame anyone for ...

I am perfectly content in my life , you seem to think because i'm critical of this new wave of superficiality in regards to having 10000+ fake facebook friends "becuz its kl and validates my life " , means i'm some sort of sheldon or something.

I have no problem with it , but I don't see why people have a problem with people who DON'T have a problem with being alone and crave human attention 24 hours a day.

Reply 8

porcelainwhite

Loners are the most stigmatized people in society? Lmaooooooooooo okay.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Original post by james1211

Attitude issues.

Original post by Georgie_M

OK guys I'm a self righteous bastard with attitude problems , gonna go get some therapy to solve them soz.

Do you think you could answer my question based upon your experiences though ? Please ?

Reply 10

455409

Original post by Anonymous

OK guys I'm a self righteous bastard with attitude problems , gonna go get some therapy to solve them soz.

Do you think you could answer my question based upon your experiences though ? Please ?

Nah, i'm done talking to you. You're not a very nice person based on our quick discussion here.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Original post by porcelainwhite

Loners are the most stigmatized people in society? Lmaooooooooooo okay.

I'd argue they are one of them , the very premise of being alone has become something seen as deeply unnatural to human nature.

Go to a bar on your own , pub on your own , cinema , theatre , performance etc on your own and I guarantee people will be staring at you , thinking "ohh the poor guy , there is nothing worse than being alone" ,

I appreciate some may see these things as being a group activity but not everyone see's them this way.

Nowadays people are connected to the world from the moment they pick up their phone in the morning , I would love to see the world crumble into chaos if the internet was shut off or something.

Reply 12

Another

Yeah, your "holier than thou" attitude won't get you anywhere fast. You seem to have developed a love of complaining - that isn't attractive.

Reply 13

Doob

Original post by Anonymous

If you are indeed 'perfectly content' with life this thread may not be here. Yes, i do understand that if your seen out alone (which has happened to me many times) you are seen as a loner. If they crave attention thats there problem, because they are sad without it. As people get older they mature and you may meet more like minded people. And to answer your question, introversion is not necessarily unnatrictive, provding that you are still able to interact with women. What IS unattractive is if you are the guy who never speaks up, stutters, makes fleeting eye contact and his no conviction behind his words.

'It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.'
Marucs Aurelius
[h="2"]

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

Original post by james1211

Nah, i'm done talking to you. You're not a very nice person based on our quick discussion here.

I am a nice person though , i might have come across a bit bitter on here and I apologise for that

ah well , what can you do .

I ask people a question but no one but bassets actually answers it.

Reply 15

07alelee

Original post by Anonymous

I am a nice person though , i might have come across a bit bitter on here and I apologise for that

ah well , what can you do .

I ask people a question but no one but bassets actually answers it.

Is she fit?

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

Original post by Doob

If you are indeed 'perfectly content' with life this thread may not be here.

And to answer your question, introversion is not necessarily unnatrictive, provding that you are still able to interact with women. What IS unattractive is if you are the guy who never speaks up, stutters, makes fleeting eye contact and his no conviction behind his words.

'It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinion than our own.'
Marucs Aurelius
[h="2"]

Mate I have no problems with women , that wasn't the main problem

I've had girlfriends in the past but around that time id argue I had a larger social circle and it was in high school.

The reason I thought it might've been something of a problem is that a lot of girls like popular guys who are seen as attractive by both men and women . Women desire them and guys like to be around them to share the popular status. Just look at jocks , BNOCs etc Their status makes them more attractive in womens eyes.

I'm not quiet , anti social or awkward but I don't have a large following of people .

Reply 17

Georgie_M

Original post by Anonymous

OK guys I'm a self righteous bastard with attitude problems , gonna go get some therapy to solve them soz.

Do you think you could answer my question based upon your experiences though ? Please ?

Introversion by itself isn't an unattractive trait, but of course different people are attracted to different things. The number one most attractive trait (for the majority of the population) is social confidence which is not normally associated with introverts.

Introversion would not put me off a person and indeed hasn't put men off me. Most of my boyfriends have been extroverts. But if this girl does not like introverts for whatever reason then you just aren't suited and you need to find someone else who likes introverts. There are plenty of people who don't mind introvert characteristics and prefer them in fact.