i don't know what to do, need advice from muslims please

hi

i don't want to tell you the long story so i will try and make it as short as possible. Im a muslim guy, i met a girl at my school, we have been going out on and off for about 2 years now (had some issues), she really likes me and i like her aswel but i told her that i can't get married to someone who is not a muslim, and recently i see her looking into Islam and taking an interest,but i don't know if she is doing it for me or just genuinely wants to convert to islam, what should i do? will she still be considered a true muslim if she converts only for me?

thanks

Reply 1

kyle xy

let her first convert to islam and inshallah she will become a true muslim you have to keep in mind the actons of the prophet and how people entred islam in his lifetime for the sake of wealth the prophet was distributing but later their belief became firm

Reply 2

fajitamunch

17

How old are you now? It still seems like you're insanely young and are nowhere near old enough to be thinking about marriage.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by fajitamunch

How old are you now? It still seems like you're insanely young and are nowhere near old enough to be thinking about marriage.

i am 17 nearly 18 shes the same age as me

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by kyle xy

let her first convert to islam and inshallah she will become a true muslim you have to keep in mind the actons of the prophet and how people entred islam in his lifetime for the sake of wealth the prophet was distributing but later their belief became firm

but what if deep down in her heart she is not a muslim? i dont have much knowledge on islam

Reply 5

Sciencia

I think you should pray salat al istikhara and ask Allah to guide you and if it is not good put it in your heart to hate the situation and leave it! Allah says maybe you hate something and it is good for you and you like another and it is very bad for you. You are too young and have been caught up with something that's not right. And I know many stories similar to this, she is only converting for you at the moment! You are still young take some time out and split for a while tell her you will see how it goes and if you see that she is drawn to Islam WITHOUT you i.e. in the absence of your influence, then this may be a cue otherwise pray to Allah and leave it. Some things are better left untouched. Inshallah you will be alright mate no worries!

Reply 6

farrisraza

Let her convert to islam even if it is for you

Reply 7

fajitamunch

17

Are you both going to uni now?

Reply 8

muj121

1

If she declares the shahadah then she's a Muslimah. Allah didn't make it your responsibility to open up her heart to see if she's telling the truth. In Islam we judge apparently.

Reply 9

VeniViciVidi

18

Listen mate, if you're going to preclude advice from the a vast portion of the forum by saying "need advice from muslims", please go to a forum dedicated to Islamic scholarly and discussion. Not a student forum.

Reply 10

MASTER265

Majmuh is Muslim, ask him

Reply 11

Anonymous #2

[INDENT] You should probably sit down with her and truly ask her if she is a Muslimah or not. Explain her how its a life changing decision that you can't just take for a boy. It's really selfish to 'just let her become a Muslim' only because of you. Lets face it, at first she will like Islam because they make it really shiny and nice for newbies but after a few years I can guarantee that the people that convert that were not 100% sure of their faith and reasons for comiting to Allah will want to quit Islam.
Think of her family and friends. Her life would change forever. Plus, you're both likely to meet other people in Uni and stuff. She deserves to know for herself and fully aware if she wants to dedicate her life to salat, zakat... etc...

:-) Good luck!

*Not Muslimah but have been researching and I respect and like the religion. [/INDENT]

Reply 12

Trustno1

9

Original post by VeniViciVidi

Listen mate, if you're going to preclude advice from the a vast portion of the forum by saying "need advice from muslims", please go to a forum dedicated to Islamic scholarly and discussion. Not a student forum.

I think he wanted information from Muslim students. There isn't any harm in this. And if you read above he doesn't have much knowledge in Islam so is asking if it's okay in Islam. I don't think most non Muslims will know this since most Muslims don't ether so you shouldn't take it to heart :smile:

Posted from TSR Mobile

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 13

Saqlain_197

1

Original post by VeniViciVidi

Listen mate, if you're going to preclude advice from the a vast portion of the forum by saying "need advice from muslims", please go to a forum dedicated to Islamic scholarly and discussion. Not a student forum.

Listen "Matey" its his choice. He obviously needs an answer as soon as possible.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by fajitamunch

Are you both going to uni now?

Yeah we are gonna go to the same uni

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

OP

Hey guys I was speaking to her last night, and she said she already learned how to become muslim how shall I convert her? Do I take her too masjid? Or shall I make her read shahadah??

Reply 16

Confusing_Chem

13

Okay firstly, you are way too young to be thinking about marriage. Both of you. I don't care how mature you are, you need to think this through properly. Think about whether you both will be compatible in the long run, whether you think she will make a good mother to your children, whether she is responsible and mature to deal with trials and tribulations you guys may face in the future. Marriage itself is a huge deal, muslim or not and to take it so lightly does it injustice.

Secondly, what religion is she? From my understanding muslim men can marry christian or jewish women, I'm not sure about this please speak to a scholar/imam. It seems, as young as she is and after finding out that you can't marry a non-muslim, she might be wanting to convert for you. Which begs the question, does she fully understand islam for the religion and way of life that it is, or does she just want to accept what she needs to accept for you? Because the latter can be detrimental and cause a rift in your relationship. Would you really want her to convert to islam just for you rather than out of love for God and his Prophets (peace be upon them)?

You need to take some time and think about this, there is no rush to make a decision just yet. I'd strongly recommend talking to your parents about it too, if that is not possible as you're afraid of their reaction then it speaks volumes about the fact that you're unfit for marriage.

Reply 17

muj121

1

Original post by Anonymous

Hey guys I was speaking to her last night, and she said she already learned how to become muslim how shall I convert her? Do I take her too masjid? Or shall I make her read shahadah??

Ask her to take a shower, then pronounce the shahadah: "I bear witness that there is no god worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad is his prophet and messenger and that Jesus is the servant of Allah and a word and spirit sent from Him to Mary and he is not His son, and that paradise and hell fire are true"
That can be done in English and yoy don't have to go to an imaam
It's better to have other Muslims with you as witnesses
Wallahu a'lam

Reply 18

fajitamunch

17

If you stop back a minute and forget about religion completely, it sounds like you want to marry the first girl you've had a relationship with. This will most likely end up in a divorce if you go ahead with it. In my opinion your judgement is clouded because you havent experienced what else is out there. Its better to experience it now, then to Desire the experience in a few years when youre married. Have you had sex with her? This is very important, be honest. Whether you used Muta'ah or not.

Reply 19

So Instinct

20

That would be legitimate, it would likely happen during the wedding and I've been to a few weddings where the female has converted.

You're lucky she's even considering it.

i don't know what to do, need advice from muslims please

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