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    My friend is going through alot of hard time these days. I feel kinda sorry for her but can't do anything apart from listening to her problems. At work, she fancied a guy and she told me and the other girl ,which she took as one of her best mates, but that girl told the other guys and ,eventually, the guy knew it. So she was embarrased as that guy didn't feel the same way. To be honest with her and to make it fair, i told her that it was her "best mate" that spread the words. So she felt like betrayed , and i felt bad for telling her the truth, but i didn't mean to hurt her at that time, i though it will be fair to let her know so that she'll not be treated like an idiot. Also she's also having family problem - she got chucked out by her mum cus of her brother's fault. She was crying at work last night ; i couldn't do anything to help. She used to selfharming when she was young and i really don't want her to go back to that habit. What do u think i can do to help her? I've tried to talk to her but it's not easy: i have to use the words carefully as she's really sensive at this moment, and as a foreigner my english standard is really crap and i don't wat to mess things up by saying the wrong word without meaning it!!
    • #2
    #2

    Sounds like you are doing a good job . You can only really listen to her and try and be comforting. I'm sure you're helping a lot even if she isnt in a position to say thanks. Ask her if she has anyone else to talk to, and try and make sure she is comfortable telling you anything.

    I am sure she is aware you're english is not up to a native speakers and will understand if you explain any misunderstandings.
    • #3
    #3

    Yep all credit to you i think you're doing the right thing. Just let her know that your there if she needs to talk.
    Heres my advice(althought you dont really need it)
    Listen because chances are she's finding it so hard to open up but if ur finding it hard to cope make sure u have someone who u can talk to who u trust not to sprend anything around

    I went through depression and self harm and i needed someone like you to talk to who i trusted and from what u say i think ur doing the right thing
    • #1
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    #1

    Thanks, i was trying my best to make her feel better. I really do.

    That day i knew she wasn't happy so when she went for a fag break, i followed her (I don't usually do this) and then I talked to her, asking her how she feels, so she talked to me- throwing her feelings out. She said " i feel crap, everyone is turning against me! Even K'lee betrayed me. I feel like my friends are leaving me...blar blar blar..". I'm not a very good comforter (i'm more of a listener) so i said " I don't know what to say, and i don't know how to say it..." as i was struggling to search for words that could express my feelings, so she said "don't...don't tell me anything...i don't want to hear anything anymore...i can't take anything anymore..." and she walked out! i was like "what?!?!?!" So i thought maybe what i've told her last time really hurt her. Maybe she thought i was going to tell her another bad news or something bad so, from that night on, i reserve my openions and try not to say much but listen to her more. i kinda regret for letting her know the truth. Was i wrong?
    • #3
    #3

    i dont think you were wrong to tell her, i think she needed to know cos otherwise she would have ended up keeping trusting this person and end up getting hurt even more. Shes obviously upset because shes still realing from the news that someone she considered a friend has betrayed her. As i said before just keep listening ur doing a good job
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks, i was trying my best to make her feel better. I really do.

    That day i knew she wasn't happy so when she went for a fag break, i followed her (I don't usually do this) and then I talked to her, asking her how she feels, so she talked to me- throwing her feelings out. She said " i feel crap, everyone is turning against me! Even K'lee betrayed me. I feel like my friends are leaving me...blar blar blar..". I'm not a very good comforter (i'm more of a listener) so i said " I don't know what to say, and i don't know how to say it..." as i was struggling to search for words that could express my feelings, so she said "don't...don't tell me anything...i don't want to hear anything anymore...i can't take anything anymore..." and she walked out! i was like "what?!?!?!" So i thought maybe what i've told her last time really hurt her. Maybe she thought i was going to tell her another bad news or something bad so, from that night on, i reserve my openions and try not to say much but listen to her more. i kinda regret for letting her know the truth. Was i wrong?
    Of course not, or else she'd go trusting 'K'lee' again, when in fact 'K'lee' is a ***** and will quite happily stab her in the back again and make everything even worse.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
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    Well, i don't think k'lee meant to cause the embarrassment, she probably just trying to hook them up or trying to find out the answer for my friend. But as we both promised not to tell, she shouldn't have told anyone anyway. K'lee is defenetely closer to her than me as they always go out and drink + talk after work, whereas i only see her at work. Anyway, i'm glad i'm doing the wright thing!!! I feel great! But i hope listening to her will help. I REALLY dont want her to go back to self-harming! Also i wish i could help her to stop smoking as she told me that the Dr said she has to unless she wants to lose her teeth (for some reason).
 
 
 
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