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how do I scare him into knowing I'm serious?

i have quite a few problems in my relationship, but i feel like it could be a good relationship if my boyfriend would resolve some of the issues he has. The problem is that everytime i bring these issues up and tell him i'm not happy he won't speak to me about it, and nothing changes because he doesn't believe that i will ever leave him. How do i make him realise that if things don't get better, i will leave?
You shouldn't be with someone if you want to change them, people can change but not substantially. You have to be prepared to take the good with the bad or get out.
Reply 2
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by Georgie_M
You shouldn't be with someone if you want to change them, people can change but not substantially. You have to be prepared to take the good with the bad or get out.


i don't want to change him as a person, he's great, But he often neglects my needs and when i bring it up, he point blank refuses to talk about it, won't reply to messages, pick up the phone etc
If he doesn't listen to you, he obviously doesn't really care. The priority in any relationship should always be the other person. Instead of threatening to leave, why don't you just leave? Life is far too short to be wasting time on people who aren't bringing out the best in you or giving you what you're giving them.


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Tell him.


Posted from TSR Mobile
Never make a threat that you're not willing to follow through with. If you don't want to break up with him, then don't tell him that you will. However, you should consider that leopards rarely change their spots, if you've told him that you're not happy with how you're being treated, and he hasn't changed then you might need to accept that he's not going to, and no amount of hollow threats will change that.

Instead, think about whether you can continue in a relationship like this, not changed, as it is, and make your decision (and stick to it) from there.
Reply 6
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squealia
7
Leave.
He is taking you for granted, don't stand for it.
Reply 7
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squealia
7
Leave.
He is taking you for granted, don't stand for it.
Reply 8
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by katywillis
Never make a threat that you're not willing to follow through with. If you don't want to break up with him, then don't tell him that you will. However, you should consider that leopards rarely change their spots, if you've told him that you're not happy with how you're being treated, and he hasn't changed then you might need to accept that he's not going to, and no amount of hollow threats will change that.

Instead, think about whether you can continue in a relationship like this, not changed, as it is, and make your decision (and stick to it) from there.


It's not a hollow threat, because i will leave if he doesnt make things better this time. But you're right, i probably need to accept that nothing will change.

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