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A sad and rather difficult conversation

I have had a sad and rather difficult conversation with a lad who had been on the same course as me. I was heading across campus to the library when he came up to me and asked if I had a minute. We ended up having a cup of coffee and once we sat down he started pouring out all his woes to me. I started off feeling quite sympathetic goodness knows I have poured out enough woes to various people over the last few years but when he started talking about having no proper friends at university and never having had a girlfriend it all started to feel a bit weird. I could tell the way the way the conversation was going to go and sure enough it did. He told me that he had “fancied” me for the last three years and that he didn’t want to leave university without telling me how he felt.

My Mum and Dad had taught me how to deal with all sorts of relationship issue but never anything like this. So I told him that I was flattered and that I was sure he would find a girlfriend soon and then I tried to distract him by asking him what he was planning to do next. He wasn’t going to be diverted so in the end I had to get quite assertive. He seemed to have a grand master plan for our future relationship and he was less than thrilled when I showed zero interest.

Was this really as creepy, strange or unusual as it seemed at the time?

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Aww. It is very understandable that you'd find it creepy :yes: However, I'm sure it's not unusual for someone to have been infatuated with someone else for a long time. Don't hate the guy for it. :redface: At least he had the guts to tell you ...
Why is it creepy per se?

He made an approach for you...ok,...he failed to read the signs... but he wanted to give it a proper shot and leave no regrets behind.
Original post by Orphan
I have had a sad and rather difficult conversation with a lad who had been on the same course as me. I was heading across campus to the library when he came up to me and asked if I had a minute. We ended up having a cup of coffee and once we sat down he started pouring out all his woes to me. I started off feeling quite sympathetic goodness knows I have poured out enough woes to various people over the last few years but when he started talking about having no proper friends at university and never having had a girlfriend it all started to feel a bit weird. I could tell the way the way the conversation was going to go and sure enough it did. He told me that he had “fancied” me for the last three years and that he didn’t want to leave university without telling me how he felt.

My Mum and Dad had taught me how to deal with all sorts of relationship issue but never anything like this. So I told him that I was flattered and that I was sure he would find a girlfriend soon and then I tried to distract him by asking him what he was planning to do next. He wasn’t going to be diverted so in the end I had to get quite assertive. He seemed to have a grand master plan for our future relationship and he was less than thrilled when I showed zero interest.

Was this really as creepy, strange or unusual as it seemed at the time?


Get a bullet proof vest just in case

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Reply 4
Yes perhaps creepy wasn't the right word. But the lad I'm talking about had been in the same lectures and practical as me for three years and for 90% of that time I have been in relationship with my BF and have house shared with BF and two other close friends for the last two years. I don't understand how anybody would really expect me to give it all up to go to the other side of the country with somebody I had hardly ever spoken to.

I'm sorry if his misread any signs but I 100% didn't give him any encouragement. "I often saw you looking at me" is just delusional and I found him and the whole situation rather hard to cope with!
Reply 5
These thinks happen. Guys turn in to idiots when their brains are addled with unrequited love. It was nice that you were kind and tried to let him down gently.
Does sound a bit like of a creep tbh.
The guy had probably posted here asking for advice and been told to "tell her how you feel or you will always regret it" lol. Not always a wise policy.
Reply 8
This happened to me once. A close friend of mine told me they had feelings for me after pouring their heart out to me. I told them straight that I no feelings for them in that way and they tried to play the guilt card to make me feel bad but you shouldn't feel bad for not feeling the same as them.

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Reply 9
That's super clingy, super weird. Be careful.
Reply 10
"Unrequited love" was the phrase I was looking for. I could understand what happened if we had had some significant academic or social interaction during the three years and somehow he had misread the signals. But he was quite possibly the person on the course that I had the least contact with. I am struggling to recall a single conversation of more than two sentences that I ever had with him. Luckily there is no reason for me to be on campus until results day so perhaps it will all blow over.

How could anybody think that I would move in with him into a flat he has yet to find in a town I have never visited in the hope we might both find jobs there!
Original post by Old_Simon
The guy had probably posted here asking for advice and been told to "tell her how you feel or you will always regret it" lol. Not always a wise policy.


It is always a wise policy. At least he knows now and he has some chance of moving on.


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Original post by Orphan
"Unrequited love" was the phrase I was looking for. I could understand what happened if we had had some significant academic or social interaction during the three years and somehow he had misread the signals. But he was quite possibly the person on the course that I had the least contact with. I am struggling to recall a single conversation of more than two sentences that I ever had with him. Luckily there is no reason for me to be on campus until results day so perhaps it will all blow over.

How could anybody think that I would move in with him into a flat he has yet to find in a town I have never visited in the hope we might both find jobs there!


He asked you to move in with him? I actually think it's sweet that he told you he liked you, but if he asked you to move in then that is quite weird. He did have a lot of guts though to tell you, it must have been hard.
Reply 13
i bet he's been fapping over you

report him to the police for being a pervert imo
Original post by LightBlueSoldier
It is always a wise policy. At least he knows now and he has some chance of moving on.


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Well it is only necessary for the guy to tell the girl he "likes her". Everybody knows what that means. Then to ask her if she wants to go out. There is no need for the whole Shakespearean speech and drama. :wink:
I'm sorry... I just thought maybe you could have felt the same way... But I guess if I can't have you...
Reply 16
Original post by Orphan
"Unrequited love" was the phrase I was looking for. I could understand what happened if we had had some significant academic or social interaction during the three years and somehow he had misread the signals. But he was quite possibly the person on the course that I had the least contact with. I am struggling to recall a single conversation of more than two sentences that I ever had with him. Luckily there is no reason for me to be on campus until results day so perhaps it will all blow over.

How could anybody think that I would move in with him into a flat he has yet to find in a town I have never visited in the hope we might both find jobs there!

A bold and amazing proposal, perhaps you should give it a go!!
you sound hot, op

did you think the guy was ugly/unattractive physically btw?
just wondering
Reply 18
This 'creepy' word the needs to **** right to from whence it came! It's not creepy because it turned out to be unwanted, that just scares the male population from making moves required to try and make advances! It was an outpouring from a guy who'd made his moves, they turned out either to be wrong or directed at the wrong person, this doesn't make it creepy. Creepy is following you home or watching you sleep rather than trying to start a relationship, this was a guy making his feelings known. That should be respected rather than abhorred.
Original post by Wattsy
This 'creepy' word the needs to **** right to from whence it came! It's not creepy because it turned out to be unwanted, that just scares the male population from making moves required to try and make advances! It was an outpouring from a guy who'd made his moves, they turned out either to be wrong or directed at the wrong person, this doesn't make it creepy. Creepy is following you home or watching you sleep rather than trying to start a relationship, this was a guy making his feelings known. That should be respected rather than abhorred.


He asked her to move in with him....


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