A sad and rather difficult conversation

I have had a sad and rather difficult conversation with a lad who had been on the same course as me. I was heading across campus to the library when he came up to me and asked if I had a minute. We ended up having a cup of coffee and once we sat down he started pouring out all his woes to me. I started off feeling quite sympathetic – goodness knows I have poured out enough woes to various people over the last few years – but when he started talking about having no proper friends at university and never having had a girlfriend it all started to feel a bit weird. I could tell the way the way the conversation was going to go and sure enough it did. He told me that he had “fancied” me for the last three years and that he didn’t want to leave university without telling me how he felt.

My Mum and Dad had taught me how to deal with all sorts of relationship issue but never anything like this. So I told him that I was flattered and that I was sure he would find a girlfriend soon and then I tried to distract him by asking him what he was planning to do next. He wasn’t going to be diverted so in the end I had to get quite assertive. He seemed to have a grand master plan for our future relationship and he was less than thrilled when I showed zero interest.

Was this really as creepy, strange or unusual as it seemed at the time?

The guy had probably posted here asking for advice and been told to "tell her how you feel or you will always regret it" lol. Not always a wise policy.

"Unrequited love" was the phrase I was looking for. I could understand what happened if we had had some significant academic or social interaction during the three years and somehow he had misread the signals. But he was quite possibly the person on the course that I had the least contact with. I am struggling to recall a single conversation of more than two sentences that I ever had with him. Luckily there is no reason for me to be on campus until results day so perhaps it will all blow over.

How could anybody think that I would move in with him into a flat he has yet to find in a town I have never visited in the hope we might both find jobs there!

It is always a wise policy. At least he knows now and he has some chance of moving on.


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"Unrequited love" was the phrase I was looking for. I could understand what happened if we had had some significant academic or social interaction during the three years and somehow he had misread the signals. But he was quite possibly the person on the course that I had the least contact with. I am struggling to recall a single conversation of more than two sentences that I ever had with him. Luckily there is no reason for me to be on campus until results day so perhaps it will all blow over.

How could anybody think that I would move in with him into a flat he has yet to find in a town I have never visited in the hope we might both find jobs there!

This 'creepy' word the needs to **** right to from whence it came! It's not creepy because it turned out to be unwanted, that just scares the male population from making moves required to try and make advances! It was an outpouring from a guy who'd made his moves, they turned out either to be wrong or directed at the wrong person, this doesn't make it creepy. Creepy is following you home or watching you sleep rather than trying to start a relationship, this was a guy making his feelings known. That should be respected rather than abhorred.