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Stalkerish problem...

At the beginning of this summer I was working as the night auditor at a hotel, and while it's not really the most secure job in the world in terms of safety, it hadn't been too bad. The hotel doors were locked at a certain time and I hada panic button just in case. However.
There was a certain guest who was already checked in and decided that instead of sleeping, they were going to spend the entire night in the lobby, chatting with me. Keep in mind I'm a 22 year old female and they were a late 40s man. I didn't think anything of it really. I was friendly and courteous, he wasn't saying anything inappropriate, although I did think it was a bit strange that he wanted to stay up chatting to me all night.
Anyway. He asked for my email and I gave it to him. I didn't know how to say no. I didn't think he'd actually write to me or anything. In the morning when my shift was over, he asked if he could take a picture of me. Once again, I had no idea how to say no, and just stood there awkwardly because I didn't know what to do. I've always been polite to the point of getting myself into awkward situations like this, but nothing bad had ever happened before.
Later on that day, I realized that something about the whole situation wasn't right, it was making me feel quite nervous and I eventually ended up quitting that job because I felt that it wasn't safe. I didn't want to be put in that position again. The man ended up sending me quite a few emails and I deleted them, then blocked his address.
Tonight I received a phone call from him. He had looked my phone number up online (my last name isn't all that common, although he said he had to call about 15 people before finding me) and I was shocked. I said that I couldn't talk, I was on my way out and I hung up. I'm praying that he never calls back again.
I realize that I'm extremely in the wrong here for giving him my email address, but I honestly didn't know how to say no. I never thought he'd contact me in any way. I know I've put myself into this situation through my own actions, but now I don't know what to do to get out of it. Can I just keep avoiding him until the end of the summer when I leave the continent to go to school? Do I change my phone number? I didn't think being nice to someone could end up with feeling completely creeped out. Help!

Reply 1

supernova2

11

Next time he calls tell him you dont ever want to talk to him again and not to call you. If he calls again bar his number. If he tries to contact you some other way get phone the police.

Reply 2

username47781

20

You really need to start saying no as hard as it is for you because one day you are gonna end up doing something you really regret, if he keeps calling i think there's a hotline you can call that can block him from calling or failing that report him to the police, but please in future you gotta stand your ground and don't be afraid to say no.

Reply 3

Emmalina

1

Dont panic.. He doesnt know where you live, so Id just either ignore his calls, or call your mobile phone company and get him blocked from calling you.

Write down every time he tries to contact you with the date, just incase he gets nastier.

Reply 4

bunthulhu

14

In future I would suggest giving a false email address, it is safest to assume that when someone asks for an address at which to contact you, they are planning on doing so :smile:

I hope he gives up though - if he gets any more threatening, you should ring your local police and ask for advice.

Reply 5

guccilittlepiggy

14

am i right in guessing he got your home phone number? because you can get an address from that. next time he calls just say no, as hard as it may seem you will do do yourself a lot of favours in the future if you learn to stand up for yourself.

Reply 6

jovialtom

2

think of this as a lesson learned. Hopefully he'll get the hint, and if not so you'll have to be less subtle about it and perhaps enlist the help of other people when trying to get him to leave you alone. I think you need to nip this is the bud incase it escalates and try not to worry about hurting someones feelings!

Reply 7

generalebriety

16

Um, next time he calls, say, calmly, "If you call again, I am going to phone the police, ok? Bye." and hang up. Then stick to that.

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

what ever his reasons are, politely explain to him the next time he phones you saying that you cannot speak to him as you feel uncomfortable, end by saying "please do not contact me again". if he carries on phone the police saying that this man is bothering you. the fact that he has your picture and email address wont help because he might say that he was under the impression you wanted to be contacted by him. dont worry about what you have done (im sure you have learnt from your mistake, and remember a lot of people find it hard to say no, your not the only one, its something that just has to be done in this world).

good luck!!!!

Reply 9

Gem

14

bunthulhu

In future I would suggest giving a false email address, it is safest to assume that when someone asks for an address at which to contact you, they are planning on doing so :smile:

I hope he gives up though - if he gets any more threatening, you should ring your local police and ask for advice.

Good advice. If you couldn't say 'no' then you could have given him a fake email address. As for the photo, you could have said 'no' or 'I'd rather you didn't, I look rough' to try and make a joke out of it.

Can your boss do anything? Or anyone at the hotel? If he carries on, threaten to call the police, then if he still persists, call the police and get him cautioned. You don't deserve to have this to worry about.

Stalkerish problem...

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