1st proper relationship Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 12 years ago
#1
Hey there
Well ive been with my bf for about 7 weeks now, and everything is going well and we love each other.
Im just a bit confused on how the relationship is going.
I dont see him that much, he lives 20mins away from me so thats no excuse, he has a good job as an accountant in a company so seeing him on a weekday (nighttime) is a nono because he says hes tired .. exept a wednesday for the cinima.
Then i see him on a sat and sunday night for a couple of hours but it could be more because when i go he just flakes out and does nothing.
He does tell me he loves me, and how great i am.

Am i just being stupid with this whole thing, coz im not sure, is this how normal relationships are?
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Austin226
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#2
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#2
if people have jobs and work commitments you have to organise your social and love life around it, if he has a stressful job then flaking out may be his release, also 7 weeks is not that long in hte scheme of things, give it time the relationship should develop, hopefully you will both start to make more time to be together
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hallucination
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#3
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#3
Saying he loves you doesn't really mean anything if he doesn't show it. I'd also be a bit sceptical as you've been together for less than 2 months and he's already said he loves you... It doesn't really seem to me like he's putting much effort into the relationship - talk to him about it and see what he says? Just say you'd like to see more of him. If he really thinks your great, he'll want to.
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Austin226
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#4
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yea i would be careful...im being honest hear as a bloke my self, when a guy says i love you after that short period of time he is usually just telling a girl what she wants to hear, im mean i could be wrong you may be in a wirlwind romance but if that was so you wouldnt be upset with him for not seeing you as much as youd like, genuine love takes time
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Anonymous #1
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thanks for the replies.

He does much he loves me, i can tell he does when im with him he gives me so much attention, hugging and kissing me, saying i love you, telling me how pretty i am etc. So i know he loves me i can just tell from the way he acts around me.

He phoned me last night to tell me hes sorry for being so busy all the time, and hopefully when his 3month probation trial at work is over hel have more time to himself. But by then ill be at Uni and only seeing him at a weekend anyway.
If i talk to him, i dont wanna feel like im nagging him about it coz thats the kind of thing that splits up relationships.
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glaucon
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#6
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Saying he loves you doesn't really mean anything if he doesn't show it. I'd also be a bit sceptical as you've been together for less than 2 months and he's already said he loves you...
It could mean something I've been with my boyfriend for 18 months but he said he loved me after a week and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me after 2 or 3 weeks...
But then at the moment he spends all his free time with me, he sees me after work every day and he has a really tiring job...

Your boyfriend might really love you, but need some time to himself too, some people are like that, he might not be quite comfortabe about having no 'free' time left, I'd wait and see how it goes...

I guess the real test will be how he reacts when you do go away... he might realise how mch he misses you and want to spend loads more free time with you.
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Austin226
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#7
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how old are you both?
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PremiershipFootballer
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#8
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Careful about the whole "we love eachother" thing, that is usually the problem in 1st relationships. Dont wory too much about the relationship and dont take it too seriously (whole life revolves around it). Just see it more as a bonus. If it ends, its not the end of the world.

Actions speak louder than words. And no, there is no such thing as a "normal" relationship.

I also agree with austin. If a guy says he loves you after 7 weeks, hes probably just telling you what you want to hear.
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AT82
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#9
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It is tricky, maybe you think by working so hard at work he dosn't want you as much, and he could perhaps work less as a sacrifice for you. However if you really love him you would not want his work to suffer.

I think you need to accept that you won't be able to see that much of him and things will be fine. Perhaps make it a once a weekend thing.

What I am trying to say is don't take it personaly.
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Anonymous #1
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how old are you both?
Im 18 and hes 24
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hallucination
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#11
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Well obviously you live different lives...he works 5 days a week whilst you're a student. Seeing each other 3 times a week is still quite a lot; when my boyfriend and I first got together we only saw each other a couple of times a week. I'd just go with the flow for the moment and if things deteriorate, then talk to him.
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Anonymous #1
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well obviously you live different lives...he works 5 days a week whilst you're a student. Seeing each other 3 times a week is still quite a lot; when my boyfriend and I first got together we only saw each other a couple of times a week. I'd just go with the flow for the moment and if things deteriorate, then talk to him.
Thank you, thats put my mind at rest a little actually. Thanks
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Helenia
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#13
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(Original post by Anonymous)
thanks for the replies.

He does much he loves me, i can tell he does when im with him he gives me so much attention, hugging and kissing me, saying i love you, telling me how pretty i am etc. So i know he loves me i can just tell from the way he acts around me.
Wow, so he hugs you and compliments you? Obviously it's true love, nobody would EVER do that without being in love.

I think it could just be the difference in your lifestyles, take it easy and don't pressure him - if he's tired after work, you nagging won't help at all.
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1013
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#14
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Don't put too much pressure on the realtionship that's only 7 weeks old. He sounds like he is into you (although I think 7 weeks is a bit early for the L-word but whatever) but you need to be understanding about his work schedule. If things progress further and you stay together then you would probably more entitled to expect more of his time but at this moment I would just say go with it and have fun when you do see him.
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CassieCoo
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#15
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give it time
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Anonymous #1
#16
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#16
Wow, so he hugs you and compliments you? Obviously it's true love, nobody would EVER do that without being in love.
grow up. there aint no need to be sarcastic
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Rock Fan
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#17
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well she's right relationships take time to develop and there was no need to be so nasty just then, the age gap is not big but as most people have said you both are at different stages of your lives
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Helenia
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#18
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(Original post by Anonymous)
grow up. there aint no need to be sarcastic
You want me to not be sarcastic? OK, but I'll say the same thing. Anyone can hug and cuddle someone, anyone can complement someone about how pretty/good looking/wonderful they are. Both men and women do it, without being entirely sincere, if they think it'll get them something they want. All the things you listed as "proof" that he loves you are really, really easy to fake. I'm not saying for definite that he doesn't, but that you should look at these things at more than just face value.
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Indus1986
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#19
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey there
Well ive been with my bf for about 7 weeks now, and everything is going well and we love each other.
Im just a bit confused on how the relationship is going.
I dont see him that much, he lives 20mins away from me so thats no excuse, he has a good job as an accountant in a company so seeing him on a weekday (nighttime) is a nono because he says hes tired .. exept a wednesday for the cinima.
Then i see him on a sat and sunday night for a couple of hours but it could be more because when i go he just flakes out and does nothing.
He does tell me he loves me, and how great i am.

Am i just being stupid with this whole thing, coz im not sure, is this how normal relationships are?
As a great man once said... "Be cool *****!"
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Anonymous #1
#20
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#20
i wasnt being nasty, shes being all sarcastic when i dont need that, i need advice.

I know that he loves me full stop. For example. One of my brothers ex gfs is one of his best friends, she told me 2weeks ago that all he does is talk about me and stuff. Im not being stupid i really do know that he loves me. 7weeks isnt too early on to say it, my best friends new they were in love in 2weeks, and there still together now 14months later. Love is different for different people. You shouldnt really judge if you dont know the situation . thats not what this thread was about.
But thanks for the advice
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