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this is tearing me up inside
right well i dont know where to start but i really have no idea what to do and this is just killing me inside.
i have a tendancy to bottle up my feelings and if possible try and push it to the back of my mind. i did this recently and now its built up to the point where all my feelings have come exploding out and it turned into anger and i have such a low self esteem and i feel so angry...i punched my clock so hard the glass broke...
well with my feelings, i think im a very vulnerable person. i had a hard growing up with painful memories of family arguments/ fighting which are to do with my mum/dad/brother not me. i hardly see my dad cos of his work commitments.
well ive come to have feelings for this teacher (plz dont think oh no not another teacher thread) its very mixed and confusing. at first i didnt know what they were so i assumed i fancied him, and in the process i did some very stupid embarasing things. now ive come to realise that i see him as a father figure, as someone to look up to. i respect and like him very much.
the stupid things happened right at the end of the year so i dont know whether he is fine with it or whether hell avoid me since he thinks i fancy him.
im so embarased by what ive done and i want to apoligise to him. but i also want to tell him my feelings (not that i fancy him but that i see him as a father figure and as someone id like to be part of my life)
well its just cutting me up that im prob just one of many students and hell just forget about me. i dont even fancy him. but i want him to be part of my life..not meeting up outside school cos thats wrong, but as someone to talk to in school and ask advice and stuff...but cos of the things ive done i wouldnt be suprised if he avoids me. but how can i tell him this?
im just hurting loads inside, and i feel terrible that ive put him in this position.
i defo do not fancy him nor do i want to become romantically involved, i just like talking to him, but he might be funny with it since he thinks i fancy him...
how can i put things right. sorry if it sounds desparate, i cant get over him cos theres nothing to get over...but im just soo embarased and sad.
i have a tendancy to bottle up my feelings and if possible try and push it to the back of my mind. i did this recently and now its built up to the point where all my feelings have come exploding out and it turned into anger and i have such a low self esteem and i feel so angry...i punched my clock so hard the glass broke...
well with my feelings, i think im a very vulnerable person. i had a hard growing up with painful memories of family arguments/ fighting which are to do with my mum/dad/brother not me. i hardly see my dad cos of his work commitments.
well ive come to have feelings for this teacher (plz dont think oh no not another teacher thread) its very mixed and confusing. at first i didnt know what they were so i assumed i fancied him, and in the process i did some very stupid embarasing things. now ive come to realise that i see him as a father figure, as someone to look up to. i respect and like him very much.
the stupid things happened right at the end of the year so i dont know whether he is fine with it or whether hell avoid me since he thinks i fancy him.
im so embarased by what ive done and i want to apoligise to him. but i also want to tell him my feelings (not that i fancy him but that i see him as a father figure and as someone id like to be part of my life)
well its just cutting me up that im prob just one of many students and hell just forget about me. i dont even fancy him. but i want him to be part of my life..not meeting up outside school cos thats wrong, but as someone to talk to in school and ask advice and stuff...but cos of the things ive done i wouldnt be suprised if he avoids me. but how can i tell him this?
im just hurting loads inside, and i feel terrible that ive put him in this position.
i defo do not fancy him nor do i want to become romantically involved, i just like talking to him, but he might be funny with it since he thinks i fancy him...
how can i put things right. sorry if it sounds desparate, i cant get over him cos theres nothing to get over...but im just soo embarased and sad.
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He knows you feel stupid. If he's in the slightest bit professional he'll forget totally about what you said and treat you like a normal pupil (which includes giving you advice etc when necessary) and not mention it to anyone (except possibly his superior, so that he covers himself, but don't worry about that).
I think you should be careful about idolising this guy as a father figure, as he's NOT a father, he's a teacher - just an ordinary guy doing his job. Sorry, but although he makes time for you, I'm sure he'd do so for any of his pupils, and has no untoward feelings towards you.
I think you should be careful about idolising this guy as a father figure, as he's NOT a father, he's a teacher - just an ordinary guy doing his job. Sorry, but although he makes time for you, I'm sure he'd do so for any of his pupils, and has no untoward feelings towards you.
Whatever you did cant be that bad can it?
And if it really bothers you that much and that you cant face telling him, but you really want to, then how about putting it down on paper.
Nothing ott mind, just the facts, saying your sorry for what you did and you was an idiot, and you hope that he doesnt disrespect you, and that you look up to him for help and support. Him being a teacher should understand this.
And if it really bothers you that much and that you cant face telling him, but you really want to, then how about putting it down on paper.
Nothing ott mind, just the facts, saying your sorry for what you did and you was an idiot, and you hope that he doesnt disrespect you, and that you look up to him for help and support. Him being a teacher should understand this.
hedwig
Whatever you did cant be that bad can it?
And if it really bothers you that much and that you cant face telling him, but you really want to, then how about putting it down on paper.
Nothing ott mind, just the facts, saying your sorry for what you did and you was an idiot, and you hope that he doesnt disrespect you, and that you look up to him for help and support. Him being a teacher should understand this.
And if it really bothers you that much and that you cant face telling him, but you really want to, then how about putting it down on paper.
Nothing ott mind, just the facts, saying your sorry for what you did and you was an idiot, and you hope that he doesnt disrespect you, and that you look up to him for help and support. Him being a teacher should understand this.
yes it was bad, i just made it so blatently obvious. i have thought about putting it down on paper..but to me itll look like a love letter or something...
i dont know whether to clear the air and speak to him about how im feeling or leave it but the latter will just drive me down.
Is there a school counsellor you could talk to? It might be a good idea to actually speak to someone about this, just to make you understand that there's nothing wrong with you for having these feelings, but who at the same time will make you understand that you shouldn't get too attached to this man who is undoubtedly lovely, but, as Mattmoy_2000 aptly put it, "just a guy doing his job".
Writing a letter could be good, but I really think you should only do it if the thought of speaking to him seems to truly unbearable. If you write him a letter then you will probably be fretting until he comes back to you with a response, and if what you did last year was really that bad, then he might be hesitant about approaching you, despite the letter of the apology. But if you stand before him and tell him calmly that you were very confused last year, but you can assure him that it won't happen again, and you now just want a good student-teacher relationship with him because you think he's an excellent teacher, he will sense that he doesn't have to worry about you being overly emotional or otherwise inappropriate in his presence.
Whether you speak to him directly or write him that letter, I'm sure he'll understand and teach you normally, because that's his job.
Again, though, I think it might be good for you to see a school counsellor. You seem very confused and full of pent-up emotion, it might be good to talk about this, and other things in your life as well.
Writing a letter could be good, but I really think you should only do it if the thought of speaking to him seems to truly unbearable. If you write him a letter then you will probably be fretting until he comes back to you with a response, and if what you did last year was really that bad, then he might be hesitant about approaching you, despite the letter of the apology. But if you stand before him and tell him calmly that you were very confused last year, but you can assure him that it won't happen again, and you now just want a good student-teacher relationship with him because you think he's an excellent teacher, he will sense that he doesn't have to worry about you being overly emotional or otherwise inappropriate in his presence.
Whether you speak to him directly or write him that letter, I'm sure he'll understand and teach you normally, because that's his job.
Again, though, I think it might be good for you to see a school counsellor. You seem very confused and full of pent-up emotion, it might be good to talk about this, and other things in your life as well.
OK when you started on about your feelings being bottled up I was going to suggest a punch bag! I would love to help but well your dilemma is beyond me!
Anonymous
i dont know whether to clear the air and speak to him about how im feeling or leave it but the latter will just drive me down.
I feel its best that you say something to him about it.
I WILL be fretting over whether hell come back with a responce!!!
there is something wrong with me for having these feelings!! no one does those things...this is going to sound really sad but i bet he doesnt even care about me or the things ive done.
there is something wrong with me for having these feelings!! no one does those things...this is going to sound really sad but i bet he doesnt even care about me or the things ive done.
sending a letter does seem like a good idea if i cant face him, but also it seems like a bit childish if im too scared to see him and i think talking to him face to face is better than the agonising waiting for him to give a responce.
would he not get into trouble?
would he not get into trouble?
Anonymous
I WILL be fretting over whether hell come back with a responce!!!
there is something wrong with me for having these feelings!! no one does those things...this is going to sound really sad but i bet he doesnt even care about me or the things ive done.
there is something wrong with me for having these feelings!! no one does those things...this is going to sound really sad but i bet he doesnt even care about me or the things ive done.
There's nothing wrong with either fancying a teacher, or seeing him as a father figure. I myself have been quite confused about my feelings towards teachers, simply because they were men who seemed to like me, and who gave me attention. The core feeling, though less severe and never acted upon, was the same as yours.
Why don't you just tell us what you did? I doubt you will truly shock anyone, and I'm sure you will feel reassured by the lack of outrage.
To say he doesn't care is silly, I'm sure he's concerned about you and your behaviour. But that doesn't mean he has special feelings for you; it's very important that you understand that.
You didn't respond to my suggestion of talking to a counsellor. Are you at least considering it?
Anonymous
sending a letter does seem like a good idea if i cant face him, but also it seems like a bit childish if im too scared to see him and i think talking to him face to face is better than the agonising waiting for him to give a responce.
would he not get into trouble?
would he not get into trouble?
Why would he get into trouble?
yes im considering seeing a councellor. but i kinda feel my problem is rather silly....considering other people with far worse problems.
when i thought i fancied him
- he caught me looking at him
- i took photos of him at the end of year he happily posed though.
- i got him to sign my shirt
- i accidentally told my teacher who knows him well that i fancied him..
that is bad espesh the latter. the latter is also what i want to apoligise to him for. since it was an accident. and he obviously thinks i fancy him which i dont and well its getting me so down. i cant stop crying. altho i dont fancy him, i like him very much and well i like talking to him, but i wouldnt be suprised if he avoids me or dislikes me for putting him into a awkward position
when i thought i fancied him
- he caught me looking at him
- i took photos of him at the end of year he happily posed though.
- i got him to sign my shirt
- i accidentally told my teacher who knows him well that i fancied him..
that is bad espesh the latter. the latter is also what i want to apoligise to him for. since it was an accident. and he obviously thinks i fancy him which i dont and well its getting me so down. i cant stop crying. altho i dont fancy him, i like him very much and well i like talking to him, but i wouldnt be suprised if he avoids me or dislikes me for putting him into a awkward position
he could get into trouble if i write him a letter and he approches me. he could be told my his superior that he was supposed to ignore it and not approch me
If you write him a letter, and he's not sure what to do about it, he'll ask someone. If he's signed your shirt, have you not left school?
when i thought i fancied him
- he caught me looking at him
meh, what does he expect, he's a teacher. unless you were stalking him or something weird.
- i took photos of him at the end of year he happily posed though.
Just like most people would. I took pictures with some of my teachers in when I left, but I didn't fancy any of them.
- i got him to sign my shirt
just him, or other people too? I'm sure he didn't think it unusual.
- i accidentally told my teacher who knows him well that i fancied him..
to be honest, he's not going to get in any trouble for you fancying him (whether you do or not). Loads of people get crushes on teachers (although I can't claim to be one of them - all my teachers were either men or middle aged, and I'm not gay) so if every teacher who got crushed on got in trouble there'd be hardly any teaching staff left. If I'm harsh, they're probably just teasing him about it in the staffroom. Teachers are professionals, and from what you've said, this guy has acted totally professionally, and not at all inappropriately, so what kind of trouble is he gonna get into? None. That's what. If you need to talk to a counsellor, then do so, but don't be put off by the thought of anyone getting in trouble.
when i thought i fancied him
- he caught me looking at him
meh, what does he expect, he's a teacher. unless you were stalking him or something weird.
- i took photos of him at the end of year he happily posed though.
Just like most people would. I took pictures with some of my teachers in when I left, but I didn't fancy any of them.
- i got him to sign my shirt
just him, or other people too? I'm sure he didn't think it unusual.
- i accidentally told my teacher who knows him well that i fancied him..
to be honest, he's not going to get in any trouble for you fancying him (whether you do or not). Loads of people get crushes on teachers (although I can't claim to be one of them - all my teachers were either men or middle aged, and I'm not gay) so if every teacher who got crushed on got in trouble there'd be hardly any teaching staff left. If I'm harsh, they're probably just teasing him about it in the staffroom. Teachers are professionals, and from what you've said, this guy has acted totally professionally, and not at all inappropriately, so what kind of trouble is he gonna get into? None. That's what. If you need to talk to a counsellor, then do so, but don't be put off by the thought of anyone getting in trouble.
I've read this exact same problem before in the last 2 months on here. Try a forum search for the previous problem as the response seemed a bit more realistic.
Personally I would forget it, he could be taken for all you know. Being a teacher and older of course he will be intelligent and wise. He could end up losing his job if the letter got into the wrong hands and be investigated for getting involved with pupils.
Only go for it if you know he would respond i.e. actually interested. Teachers have to be nice for pupils to get along and respect them.
Personally I would forget it, he could be taken for all you know. Being a teacher and older of course he will be intelligent and wise. He could end up losing his job if the letter got into the wrong hands and be investigated for getting involved with pupils.
Only go for it if you know he would respond i.e. actually interested. Teachers have to be nice for pupils to get along and respect them.
Mattmoy_2000
If you write him a letter, and he's not sure what to do about it, he'll ask someone. If he's signed your shirt, have you not left school?
when i thought i fancied him
- he caught me looking at him
meh, what does he expect, he's a teacher. unless you were stalking him or something weird.
- i took photos of him at the end of year he happily posed though.
Just like most people would. I took pictures with some of my teachers in when I left, but I didn't fancy any of them.
- i got him to sign my shirt
just him, or other people too? I'm sure he didn't think it unusual.
- i accidentally told my teacher who knows him well that i fancied him..
to be honest, he's not going to get in any trouble for you fancying him (whether you do or not). Loads of people get crushes on teachers (although I can't claim to be one of them - all my teachers were either men or middle aged, and I'm not gay) so if every teacher who got crushed on got in trouble there'd be hardly any teaching staff left. If I'm harsh, they're probably just teasing him about it in the staffroom. Teachers are professionals, and from what you've said, this guy has acted totally professionally, and not at all inappropriately, so what kind of trouble is he gonna get into? None. That's what. If you need to talk to a counsellor, then do so, but don't be put off by the thought of anyone getting in trouble.
when i thought i fancied him
- he caught me looking at him
meh, what does he expect, he's a teacher. unless you were stalking him or something weird.
- i took photos of him at the end of year he happily posed though.
Just like most people would. I took pictures with some of my teachers in when I left, but I didn't fancy any of them.
- i got him to sign my shirt
just him, or other people too? I'm sure he didn't think it unusual.
- i accidentally told my teacher who knows him well that i fancied him..
to be honest, he's not going to get in any trouble for you fancying him (whether you do or not). Loads of people get crushes on teachers (although I can't claim to be one of them - all my teachers were either men or middle aged, and I'm not gay) so if every teacher who got crushed on got in trouble there'd be hardly any teaching staff left. If I'm harsh, they're probably just teasing him about it in the staffroom. Teachers are professionals, and from what you've said, this guy has acted totally professionally, and not at all inappropriately, so what kind of trouble is he gonna get into? None. That's what. If you need to talk to a counsellor, then do so, but don't be put off by the thought of anyone getting in trouble.
yes ive left school, but im going back for the 6th form so ill still see him for another 2 or so years.
i need to talk to him, its hurting too much inside, its not really a crush, just someone i like and respect very much.
i need to tell him this, i cant bear it anymore, i want to clear the air. can i have some advice on how i should tell him? and what not to say etc..
i'd suggest saying what you wanted to, which is why u r facing this problem, that u look up to him as a role model, not that you fancy him.
as in where, when, i'd say naturally, somewhere private, maybe his office or somewhere when both of u r free and not rushing off to do other things.
as in where, when, i'd say naturally, somewhere private, maybe his office or somewhere when both of u r free and not rushing off to do other things.
He will not get in trouble if you write him a letter telling him what a great job he's doing. Unless you put something like "I'm really glad we're seeing each other" or "that sex the other night was awesome", i.e. LIES.
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