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How do I finish a relationship without hurting him as much?

I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months and recently I have just really lost interest and fallen out of love with him. I don't want to hurt him as he's done nothing wrong to be cliche it's not him it's me. How do I address it as he lives quite far away from me and I only see him at college and don't want him getting transport for me to break up with him. He's noticed that I've been a little off with him.

Reply 1

Truflais

You should go to him, don't have him come to you. Don't do it at college either. I think it's best to just do it ASAP really, be gentle but don't keep him hanging on. If he's noticed that you've been off with him then chances are he's suspecting something is up.

Reply 2

Zarek

A few thought from my own being dumped experiences:

- act quickly, the period of 'being off' without explanation but with fears is the worst bit
- tell him face to face if you can. This is honourable
- avoid the cliches ' it's not you, it's me - it isn't working out'
- but give as good an explanation as you can
- acknowledge the good times
- give him a final hug
- if his behaviour and your feelings allow still offer some degree of friendship post break up

Hope this helps.

Reply 3

Viva Emptiness

Yeah, definitely go to his house don't make him pay to get to you and then send him packing. Try to do it on a Friday as well so he has had time to cheer up in time for college again.

There's not a lot you can say to soften the blow, all you can do is be honest, and be KIND.

Reply 4

Malevolent

Don't go with the whole it's not you it's me because that will probably make him think it is actually him.

Theres no easy way to let someone go really but you just have to be honest and up front about it. Don't beat around the bush.

Reply 5

Scott.M

Normally I would say just do it as swiftly as possible, but please don't do it now. Don't collages have their summer exams soon? So this is the last thing he needs. I think in relationships there are times where dumping is out of bounds (exams, birthdays, christmas spring to mind)

When you do dump him make sure to give him as much of an explanation as possible, as he will feel even worse if he feels like he has unanswered questions

Reply 6

Lotus_Eater

Just make sure it is someplace private, you do it quickly, you answer any questions honestly, and above all be absolutely resolute in your decision. The worst thing anyone can do when confronted with an emotional mess is give them a ray of hope that they actually have no intention of seeing through.

To be honest, there's no good way to be dumped and as long as you try to do it kindly that's about as much as anyone could ask of you.

It will hurt irrespective of the method you choose and that is quite difficult guilt to bear, but if it's time to end it you have to end it.

Reply 7

Ryan202

Original post by laurastevo12

5 Months? I been committed to a video game longer than your relationship. Yall need to stop dating prematurely and be with someone who you actually have chemistry with.

Reply 8

Hal.E.Lujah

Original post by Ryan202

5 Months? I been committed to a video game longer than your relationship. Yall need to stop dating prematurely and be with someone who you actually have chemistry with.

Ignore this OP, 5 months is plenty of time. As others have said go to him, but bring it up rather than just out of the blue and discuss things. He might be feeling the same way and that would make things easier.