Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

Boy Problem

Alright guys, I'll get straight to it. There's a boy in my small college who I've had a little crush on for maybe 7 months. He was in a relationship with the school slut but then she broke up with him and he was really hurt. After that he became a bit of a player and hooked up with lots of girls from my tiny college. We became friends and had a lot of flirting, but I think he respected me too much to just get off with me at parties. Having said that, on New Years we kissed (but we were both really drunk). After that we started hanging out a lot as friends. Then in February he asked me out and we went out for two dates which were fun but slightly awkward because we were friends. But then he told me that he was still getting over his ex, and I was relieved too because it had been pretty awkward at school, especially when everyone found out. So it was fine but then he started texting a friend of mine who I introduced him to, and then another one. He texts loads of girls at a time, and we still hang out as friends, but I've recently realised that I want to be more than friends. What should I do? Is he worth pursuing? Sorry for such a long problem, thanks in advance to anyone who answers me, and yes, I realise that I'm absolutely ridiculous. If I didn't like him so much i'd probably be more sensible.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 1

Doob

so you wanna get into a relationship with a person with a history of being a player?
lol just lol

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 2

_Fergo

Original post by Doob

so you wanna get into a relationship with a person with a history of being a player?
lol just lol

I agree with this.

Based on the information you provided, you're really going down to some great disappointment.

My personal advice would be to remain his friend.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 3

Orthonym

He isn't upset because he was in love with the school slut and she dumped him, he's upset because he was dating the person who seems the most sexually outgoing and she thought he was not good enough. He is upset because it hurt his ego, it didn't break his heart.

You have let yourself get feelings for him and want a relationship with him. He doesn't want a relationship. As you can see, he wants something much more casual than what you want, and that is the first sign that you should look for in potential partners. If they want something different to you, then it is not going to work.

If I were you, I would get the idea of a relationship with this boy out of your head. Don't say 'but he might be different with me and want to stay in a relationship, he is genuine and authentic around me'. Don't say 'what if he really does want a relationship now and he is over his ex and had some fun'

In years to come maybe he will be ready for a relationship and truly want one. But if he has been a player in the last year then his not going to suddenly change for you now. If he sees you as a romantic interest then he will treat you like his previous romantic interests.

Reply 4

Thatfullmoon

Thank you, all of you, but Orthonym in particular. I assumed this thread would be fairly split but as I can see, you all seem to have the same opinion. That tells me a lot! I'm now convinced that getting over this boy is clearly the only way forward for me... Any further advice or suggestions as to how I can move on? I'm pretty stuck on him. Thanks guys!